Silly Stuff
For your reading enjoyment...
I know this guy who's neighbor has a friend who has a nephew, a young
man, whom was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of
Kentucky Fried Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he
awoke he was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all
over. When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN
STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he was
afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there
was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened
an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"
He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the
year 2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which
all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Neiman Marcus cookie
recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I read it all last
week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a
free Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to
everyone I know.) The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with
an HIV- infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome
to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital-the one,
actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer is. The one who's
last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the
American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he
receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's
in the shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you
will have good luck but with ten people you will only have OK luck and if
you send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but
on the way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To
be helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a
gang initiation. Now everyone is bummed out and to top it all of ...
did you know that it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages?
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Those Who Touch Our Lives!
Every special person who touches our life,
Leaves their own unique mark on our heart.
A mark which can never be chizzled away,
Even if the years eventually pull us apart.
We can take on their expressions and such,
The more we share of ourselves together.
It's those little things about another person,
Which can remain a part in us forever.
People who we have met throughout our life,
Become a part of the person who we are today.
We learn and we grow from the relationships;
Each one touching us, in it's own special way.
We laugh about spending too much time together,
When we think we have become like each other.
But it just shows how much we've been touched,
By the relationship we have found with another.
Those special people who can touch our lives,
Are like precious jewels amongst life's treasures.
They shine on us and leave a lasting impression;
An unique mark on our heart;
A gift without measures.
This Poem was donated to my site by
©Pamela Hall ~Angel of the Heart~
JailerGirl's Guide to Staying a Kid For Life:
Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
Dot all your "i" 's with smiley faces
Sing into your hairbrush
Grow a milk mustache
Smile back at the man in the moon
Read the funnies then throw the rest of the paper away
Dunk your cookies
Ask somebody if their refrigerator is running, then tell them they better go catch it.
Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along; like monopoly...Lori
Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach
Pretend your bread rolls are tap dancing
Step carefully over sidewalk cracks
Change into some play clothes
Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich
Have a staring contest with your cat or dog
Eat ice cream for breakfast
Kiss a frog just in case
Give someone a "Hug-around-the-neck"
Blow the wrapper off a straw
See if you can drink soda through your nose..Matt
Refuse to eat crusts
Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no"
Watch TV in your pajamas
Ask "Why?" a lot
Make graham-cracker-and-frosting sandwiches...But..whatever you do...DON'T CONFUSE CRISCO FOR VANILLA FROSTING!
Believe in fairy tales
Have someone read you a story
Eat dessert first
Sneak some frosting off a cake
Refuse to back down in a "did vs. did-not argument"
Do a cartwheel or a somersault
Hide your vegetables under your napkin or better yet, under the rim of your plate
Stay up past your bedtime
Whatever you're doing, stop once in a while for recess
Wear red gym shoes
wear plaids and prints at the same time
Make a "slurpy" sound with your straw
when you get to the bottom of a milkshake
Sit really still for as long as the dog is asleep in your lap
Put way too much sugar on your cereal
Play a song you like really loud, over and over
Find some pretty stones and save them
Let the string all the way out on your kite
Stick your head out the car window and moo if you see a cow
Walk barefoot in wet grass
Giggle at nude statues in a museum
Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner
Count the colors in a rainbow
Fuss a little, then take a nap
Take a running jump over a big puddle
Eat dinner at the coffee table
Giggle a lot for no real reason
Make a clover chain for someone you really "like-like"
Stir ice-cream flavors together
Do that "tap someone on the shoulder while you stand on their other side
and they turn around and no one's there" thing
Enjoy your all time favorite candy bar
(Forget you've heard of calories!)
Wear a ball cap backwards
Go to the zoo
Say "duh" when stuff is obvious
Throw something and when it lands
make a cool exploding bomb noise
Put an orange slice in your mouth,
peel side out, and smile at people
Try to eat all the chocolate off a peanut butter cup
Every time someone says
"See you later" say "Not if I see you first" or
"Thanks for the warning" then laugh real hard
Whistle the theme from your favorite TV show all day
Help your salt-and-pepper shakers talk
to each other in high, squeaky voices
Remember to say your prayers
Squish some mud between your toes
Stay up late watching scary movies, then make a running jump for the bed so the hands under the bed don't grab you.
Ride a roller coaster two times in a row
Sing the "I see London, I see France" song
Eat peanut butter straight out of the jar
Write your sweetie's initials in a chalk heart on the sidewalk
Wave to the engineer
Make a smiley face with your bacon and eggs
Run through the sprinkler with all your clothes on
Lick all the ice cream out of an ice cream sandwich
before you eat the sandwich part
Look down as you walk and hope to find money
Catch lightning bugs in a jar and make a lantern
Practice whistling through your teeth
Eat cereal any ol' time of the day you feel like it
Wear a bubble gum cigar ring or a candy necklace
Watch a lot of TV and don't feel guilty about it
Skip a stone across a pond
Make somebody laugh just when they start to drink something
Eat just the chocolate stripe out of your Neapolitan ice cream
Ask to be excused
Chew bubble gum
Spin the stem of an apple to see what letter it comes out on
make an oragami funtune teller
Start thinking now about what you want for your next birthday
Sing to yourself all day
Talk to your invisible friend
Play with your younger sibling's toys
Stick your hand in the fish bowl, try to catch one...
Draw a gang of "stick-figure" persons, and call it your family!!!
Color in your favorite coloring book with your
really cool box of 144 crayons with the neato crayon sharpener
Finger-paint and make a really big mess
Buy pajamas with feet
Get the giggles and laugh until it hurts
Make your own special hideout with a sheet draped over two chairs OR a big cardboard box will do
Shout do-over when something doesn't go quite right
Try to get the truck driver to blow the horn by making arm movements
Rollerskate in your friend's basement
Lay down at the top of a hill and roll down
it until you get to the very bottom
Balance yourself on the edge of the curb
like you are a tight-rope walker,
or pretend like the ground is hot lava
Drink water and act intoxicated
Make angels in the snow
Ask for money when you hear the
icecream man's music playing from his cart
Circle everything in the toy section of a
Sears catolog for what you want for Christmas
Play cops and robbers on your bike with a friend
graciously donated by Richard- RPATTER664@aol.com (edited by me-JailerGirl)
Feel free to send your comments, as well as pics.
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