Home of the Anti-Windows
| Q: | How many Microsoft tech support people does it take to change a light bulb? |
| A: | We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay. Now exactly how dark is it? Okay, there could be 4 or 5 things wrong...have you tried the light switch? |
| Q: | How many Microsoft vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb? |
| A: | Eight. One to work the bulb, and seven to make sure that Microsoft gets $2 for every light bulb ever changed anywhere in the world |
| Q: | How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb? |
| A: | None. Bill Gates will just redefine DarknessŪ as the new industry standard |
Top ten ways that life would be different if Microsoft built cars
| 10 | New seats would require everyone to have identical bottoms. |
| 9 | We'd all have to switch to Microsoft GasŪ |
| 8 | The US Government would be getting subsidies from an car manufacturer. |
| 7 | The oil, alternator, gas, and engine warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Car Fault" warning light. |
| 6 | Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar-powered, twice as reliable, five times as fast, but would only run on 3.12% of the roads. |
| 5 | You would constantly be pressured to upgrade your car. |
| 4 | You could only have one person in your car at a time, unless you bought Car95 or Car/NT, but even then you'd still have to buy more seats. |
| 3 | Occasionally, cars would just die for no reason. Curiously, owners would just accept this as normal. |
| 2 | Every time the lines on the road were repainted, you'd have to buy a new car. |
| 1 | People would get excited about the new features in Microsoft cars, ignoring the fact that they had been available in other brands for years. |
