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Memoirs of a MadMan

Folks, I know this is on my page. However, the content on it does not belong to me. It belongs to somebody who prefers to remain anonymous, but who wants the message to get out. This is the first memoir, there will possibly be more, I have no idea. I just take them as they come, once I get something new I'll throw it up here. Send comments my way, I'll make sure MadMan gets them.

To Whom it May Concern:
I have been alive for almost 19 years now, and I’ve been through my share. I’ve gone through the abuse, passed through the neglect, sprinted past the gangs and drugs, taken the occasional stop at binge drinking. I’ve gone through the shrinks and their philosophies. I’ve done the whole “If it feels good do it” thing, and found it doesn’t work for me. I’ve listened to the people trying to tell me who or what I am, and discovered they’re idiots. In short, I’ve paid my dues. I’ve spent enough of my life not making my own choices, if my life is fucked up it’s going to be due to the choices I’VE made, nobody else. According to Shakespeare, a man plays many roles in his life. This is true. Everybody in this world is responsible for his or her own destiny. God gave us free will, what we do with it is another story. I could choose to follow the examples given to me, or I can choose to set my own. I choose the later. You cannot live in the past, but one must never forget it. The past is your foundation, what the present is based upon. My past sucks, but I wouldn’t change it. You cannot live for the future, as it may never come. But if you do not know what you want, you will never get it. The answer is simple, yet so difficult to truly master. You must live for the now, taking the occasional trip down memory lane and learning from your past, while doing your best to secure a positive future. But life gets in the way, and it’s so easy to get caught up with all the problems in the world. It’s easy to look at ones life and see only the shit, you must look for the flowers that managed to grow through it all. There is no such thing as a bad day, only bad moments. If you look hard enough, you can always find something that was good in any given day. God is good, God is graceful. Even those who would say “There is no God!” are allowed to experience love and happiness to some extent. The problem is that many people do not understand the concept of pure love. Many things are easily mistaken for love; Lust, greed, desire, all mistaken for love. I have been blessed that I know love in all its wonderful forms. Love for family, love for friends, romantic love. All are different, yet very similar. Indeed, if love for a friend is vastly different than love for a romantic partnet, I would challenge your definition of love. I look at this world, and I want to weep. Men who “love” their families come home drunk and beat their wives. These poor people “love” the abusive partner so much they cannot bear to leave. This is not true love, but it’s difficult to convince someone of that. Likewise, many people are of the opinion that money can buy happiness. The world has abandoned its roots, and it’s resulted in a breakdown of everything sacred. According to the Bible, John the Baptist is everything a man should be. Loyal, compassionate, humble, moral...This is what I strive for, and what I expect of others. According to society, if one is born with a penis, or has a penis surgically attached, then that person is a man. I believe many of these “men” should be castrated for the sake of society. The morals and values of this world have been so bent out of shape they are unrecognizable. For children to watch one parent kill the other is no longer a shock. Turn on your television; Sex, Drugs, Violence, cursing, alcohol and cigarettes, all of these things are dangerous, they are wrong, yet they are daily glamorized on the TV. Six year olds are having sex, parents molest and/or beat their children, parents beat each other, parents kill their children, none of this is shocking anymore. We’re used to it, it’s a fact of life. Married couples cheat on each other, they get divorced over something as pathetic as who uses the remote control. The Messiah is coming, and all will be well. But why should we wait? Why must we sit back and watch children die in gang wars, or drug dealers selling in the school playgrounds? Children all over the world are being forced to live in bug-infested, urine-soaked hell-holes, and they’re the lucky ones. What of the people living on the streets, starving to death? Is there nobody in this world that gives a damn about anyone but themselves? Where are the people with humility, with love, that will stand up and say that enough is enough? There must be a line drawn SOMEWHERE! One person CAN make a difference! If enough people will stand up to fight for what is right, we can take back what is rightfully ours. This world is a gift, to be a part of humanity is a priviledge. Nobody on this planet is more deserving than anybody else. If one person cannot have a place to live, then everybody should join that person on the streets. If one person cannot afford food, than everybody should either give food to that person or be forced to starve themselves. A life spent thinking solely of oneself is a waste of a perfectly good life. There’s an entire world of needless suffering, a life must be spent thinking about more than self-gratification. It’s easy to live life feeling sorry for yourself, seeking pity. I urge everyone to come to a simple realization, somebody out there has it a lot worse! The current attitude of “Show me the Money!” must stop, an attitude of “How may I help You?” must take its place! I have had my say, I can only hope I have caused someone, somewhere, to search deep within themselves to find the answers they need. I am writing this anonymously; not because I will not stand up for my message, but because I do not want the attention. This message must get the attention, not I. In the words of John the Baptist, changed a bit to apply to this, “It must become more, I must become less.”

MadMan

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