
I thought that I was healed,
that everything was fine,
I realize now I’m not alright,
I’m at the end of my line.
I’ve been hurt so very much,
all of my damn life,
people’ve held me down so long,
that I’ve lost the will to fight.
I’m so vulnerable,
I’ve grown careless with some,
I’ve allowed them to get so close,
now I feel like scum.
I’ve lost the will to live,
I lost it in the fight,
people try to tell me,
I can’t go quietly into the night.
I’ve let everyone I know down,
this wasn’t my intent,
if it was up to me right now,
they would all be quite content.
I’ve always tried to help my friends,
they ask for an ounce and I’d give a pound,
they take it for granted,
that I’ll always be around.
I tell them that I love them,
they say “See ya!” back,
they’ve been hurt before I know,
they don’t give a crap.
I’d never hurt a friend,
not someone I love,
but lately I can’t help but feel,
like a disposable glove.
I just wish I knew for sure,
that someone really cares,
I wish a friend would tell me,
“You know I’m always here”.
I wish that someone’d hug me,
say “it’ll be okay”,
in a reassuring tone,
and not go right away.
I don’t want to inconvenience them,
I don’t want to seem lame,
but I wish that someone’d hold me,
and help me through this pain.
I know I sound pathetic,
I’m asking for a lot,
I guess I’ll have to settle,
for some liquor and some pot.
-Jon Graby ©1999