Then ASK EZRI! Submit your questions to Ezri and she will post her advice! Please keep it clean. She has the right not to post any questions that she deems inappropriate!
Dear Ezri,
I have been wondering if there is anyone out there for me at all. It seems that there doesn't seem to be anyone who likes a man with three eyes and a tendency to lick sidewalks. I can't help it, I am low on minerals. I was wondering if you have any advice or know of any tri-optical ladies who may be interested.
XXXX
To Alone in Alpha
Dear Alone,
I'm sorry to hear about your dilemma. Possibly you could poke out one eye and start taking multi-vitamins. If you aren't interested in the pain of self-mutilation, you could always find a woman with one eye. Then at least together you would be balanced. Good luck!
---EZRI
