When the Bad Gets Worse
(Age:14)
I am in Alaska. My mother is getting married and she is a
widow i think it is too soon. My father died 2 years ago. Now that i am
here for the summer, my mother and "A" have not been very nice. "A" is
Manic Depressive and that means i have to do everything perfect. No one is
perfect. He wants to replace my father. Is it fair to take away a child to
an unfamiliar place when it is his/her time wiht his/her friends? She told
me this unexpectedly and didn't even ask if i wanted to go. I have been
having a hard time with mylife. I was abused (sexually) and i ended up in a
psych ward with out any friends. And now that i finally got some i have been
pulled away. She has been taking back her promises too. She promised i
could see my best friensd this summer and now she went back on it and said
they cannot come see me and i cannot go see them. I need friends and i am
scard to loose them all again. i need to get home and i want to stay home i
want to leave and i am going to! What can i do to get away from my mother and "A"? My mom has changed
for the worst. And i am tired of the emotional neglect.
ADVISOR REPLIES:
I think that the only thing that you can do, is to tell someone about how
you feel. Tell your mother, or grandmother, who ever that may be able to
really help you. I am so sorry to hear about what you have been going
through. Maybe your mother feels that "A" is the one, and sometimes love
is blind. You need to help her see the truth in the situation. Marrying a
manic depressive, is not always a good thing. This is going to make life
harder for not only you, but your mother also. I implore you to have a
very serious conversation with your mother. She may have been irrational
in the past, but maybe if you try again, she will be more interested in
what you have to say. Good luck and don't worry, things will straighten
out if you give them time.-
Lisa.
You have a serious problem on your hands. I think that it is right for
parents to take their children places even if I don't agree with it. I
understand that you don't want to loose your friends again. If they are true
friends, you won't loose them. You can still keep in touch by either mail or
e-mail or the phone. If your mother won't let you do that, you should tell
someone. Now, about "A". If you feel that you really don't like him, talk to
your mother and tell her what you are going through. I have felt the same way
many times. Don't feel like you're the only one going through this. If you
ever need to talk to someone, I will be more than happy to talk with you.-
~Jessie
I think there is a communication problem between you and your mother. What you need to do is sit down and talk to your mother (privately) and tell her what is on your mind. Tell her things have been nothing but easy in the past and right now, you feel there should be a positive change. What you have to do is try to get along with "A" (I know, this WILL be probably very difficult for you) so your mother understands you are at least trying to be supportive of her and choices in life. Tell your mother that you are not exactly crazy about "A" but you will try to get along with him just because you want the best for your mother. Make sure you tell her that you miss your friends and ask her it would be possible for them to come visit you or for you to visit them once in a while. Also, tell her to put herself in your shoes as a 14 year old girl who has gone through what you have gone through.
Modern Teen Advisor,-
Em
Email: sweet_sk8er@yahoo.com
