Will My Boyfriend Dump Me if I Say No to Sex?
I am only 13 and my boyfriend wants to go all the way with me. I feel I am ready and in love but I'm only 13 and a virgin. I'm afraid if I tell him no he won't want to go out with me anymore. And I still want to keep him as my boyfriend? Should I just have sex with him?
ADVISOR REPLIES:
Despite what many people think these days sex is not something you do just
because you "love" someone or they say they "love" you. Beyond even the
obvious religious rules that prohibit sex before marriage there are many
reasons to save yourself for later. The risk of pregnancy and disease are
major factors and condoms do not work 100% of the time as a matter of fact 1
in 10 fail. That is a big risk to be taking at your age. Almost half of
the people in the United States carry some type of STD and most of them are
not cool and the rest are just horrid. Maybe this seems strange but without
knowing you much at all I truly care enough about you not to want anything
like this ruin your life.
Your teen years are a time to have fun and enjoy yourself, but not a time
to do certain things that should wait like sex. Everytime you have sex that
is imprinted on your mind. The feelings, the sounds, the PERSON this means
if you have sex with your boyfriend for a few months and breakup he will
still be with you in your mind. Not only that once you have sex especially
as a teenager it is very hard to stop. You will go through more boyfriends
whether one or one hundred it does not matter. Each one is another PERSON
imprinted on you. Imagine the day you are married and you get into bed with
your husband and 2 other guys or 101 other guys.. not cool. Now if you keep
away from the sex not only do you avoid this, but you also save yourself the
risk of pregnancy or STDs.
If this guy really loved you he would not want to have sex with you. If
you say no and he dumps you he is a jerk and he was only looking for sex in
the relationship anyway. Someone who is looking for sex is not someone you
want because if you wait and watch and look you can find someone who loves
you for you. Someone who enjoys your personality and your smile and the way
you laugh and doesn't "need" sex to love you wait until you MARRY someone
like that for sex.
God Bless,-
Joshua
You should say NO to having sex, at your age! I don't think you have considered all the negative aspects of sex...such as: YOU CAN GET STDS, YOU CAN GET PREGNANT, AND SINCE YOU'RE ONLY 13, THE PAIN! This is a test to see if your boyfriend really likes you or if he is just using you for sex. If you say no to having sex with him and he breaks up with you, then he isn't a good boyfriend afterall and you deserve better than this little punk!!! You say you love this dude, but being that you are only 13, I find it very hard to believe that you are able to feel this way about a guy at your age. You'll know what I mean when you are older and realize how strong the definition of the word "LOVE" is. My advice: Save the sex for the time when you are married- not at age 13...you'll regret it! Take things slow for now and remember that if this guy won't respect your wishes of not having sex, he isn't worth the relationship. I hope you make the right decision of not having sex. Best of luck.
Modern Teen Advisor,- Em
I suggest you think it over clearly ,why waste your young life on
sex???? You have doubts if you really wanna sleep with him ,that means
you are not ready yet ... If he dumps you because you don't want to
sleep with him , i guess he is the all-time jerk that only wants sex,
and he is no guy you wanna waste your feelings for .tell him you are not
ready ,and its not the time ,if he understands ,and dosen't force you ,
i guess he may be the sort of nice guy . Last of all , its your choice
,think it over truly ,do you to just please your guy , you would even
sleep with him? To me its not worth it ,there are lots of other thingss
to please him. I dunno if its illegal to have sex at 13 in your country
, but if it is , you better not do it....Good luck !-
swee shean
Email: sweet_sk8er@yahoo.com
