Lying to Mother
I've been lying to my extremely strict and
over-protective mom lately, mostly about things that go on at the
parties I go to (I tell her there isn't usually drinking and if there
is then I never drink and other stuff like that) I only do drink if I
know I'm not driving home but I feel like I have to lie to her because
if she knew the truth about what went on at the parties I go to she
wouldn't let me go out.
I'm a relatively good person, and I don't hang out with a bad crowd,
I'm just a basic teenager who wants to have some fun. My mom told me
the other day that if she ever found out I'd been lying to her I'd be
in big trouble.
I want her to trust me to make my own decisions but I can't tell her
I've been lying to her, and if I start telling her the truth now, she
won't let me do anything.
What can I do to keep her from finding out I've been lying and still
get her to trust me more?
I'm not a bad person, I'm just stuck in a bad situation. Please help me.
ADVISOR REPLIES:
The only reason to lie to people is if they can't handle the
truth...or can't handle it reasonably...
some may go "oh no! u'v got to be good and tell her the truth!!" but
if you're responsible enough to make your own decisions and you know
she'll freak out over whast they are,so long as you and no one else
gets harmed because of your decisions,by all means don't tel
her,you've got to get out and experience things for yourself,what kind
of sense does saying " you will do as i say and not go to parties
etc... 'til u turn 18,then you have complete and total freedom and
responsibility"? i say don't wait to live 'til later,live now,don't
drive drunk,don't get yourself into a mental state where you can't
trust your actions and you'll be ok. just do a good job of keeping it
from her and don't get TOO risky,like come home smelling like alchohol
and puking or anything...don't take up lying as a habit,but in this
case i think you may very well know what you're doing and if you trust
yourself to do the right thing,then by all means tell your mom
whatever you must to be able to pursue the things you desire to do.
but other than in those circumstances,try to be as open and honest
with your mom as possible,build a bond,build a trusting
relationship,and then everything'll be fine.
But if you really feel bad over lying to her,that too says alot,if you
do,then it's probably best to not lie and then just not be able to go
anywhere...
i hope i've helped,good luck!
luv,-
Zara
Email: sweet_sk8er@yahoo.com
