Inter-racial Dating
I like a guy at my school and he is one year younger than I
am. He is such a sweet guy and he really likes me too. We would like
to go out and stuff but he is Laotian and I am Caucasian and my parents
will probably not approve of this (I know this because when I told them
that I had a Laotian friend they were like...ohhhh....and I could just
tell. And also from the way they talk about minorities, it just makes
me sad. What can I do or say to make my parents realize that he is a
GREAT guy. he has treated me like no other guy I have ever met and we
get along great. Please help me.
ADVISOR REPLIES:
Unfortunately, being 15, you have to follow your parents rules, even if
you don't agree with them. It is wrong to judge anybody by their race
or ethnic background, as we are all the same inside. Maybe if you asked
your parents if you could invite him over for lunch or dinner on a
Sunday or something they would get the chance to know him and be able to
see beyond his race and it would open their minds up. If that doesn't
work just remember that your parents can't chose your friends for you
and you do have the right to remain friends with him. You must be a
great person to be able to look past a person's race. You're parents
may never change their ways, but you can make sure the prejudice in your
family stops with you! Good luck Krista!
Modern Teen Advisor,-
Nicole
Parents are hard to deal with sometimes. Could you possibly
introduce this guy to your parents as a friend or anything? Talk about
him in front of your parents and mention is best qualities (and I'm not
talking about looks either)...if he's smart then mention that to your
parents. If he did something kind mention that. I really hope everything
works out for you. Good luck!
--Lila
You said that you hear the way your parents talk about "minorities" but no one because of their race, religion, gender, nationality, etc. should be considered a minority. If you do decide to get with this guy, see how your parents' reactions are. If they don't like the idea of you dating a guy of a different race, then you need to explain to them that you care for this guy and have feelings for him and you would appreciate if they, as your parents, would support your decisions in life even though they might not approve of them. I wish you the best of luck.
Modern Teen Advisor,
~*Em*~
You really need to sit down and talk with your parents about this.
Tell them how much this guy means to you and how his race does not mean
anything to you. Tell you parents (as maturely as possible)-Erin
You have a really good heart. Have a long talk with your parents about
your feelings. Tell them how it makes you feel when they talk about
minoritites the way they do. They just might understand and see your
point of view. Also, you should introduce your friend to them. Once
they see how great he is then they might change their minds about things
and approve of you'll being together. Good luck!-Lisa
I will tell you how you may get to change your parents' mind about this ONE guy, but you won't be able to change their opinions about other races in general. For future reference, you will just have to go against your parents' will with matters like these. It just isn't fair. Your parents will probably like this guy if you do. Just invite him over for dinner once, just as a FRIEND, and they can get to know him. He's a great guy, and you see nothing about him that would stop you from going out w/ him, he's not DANGEROUS, then your parents can't stop you from going out with him. Hopefully they will respect your wishes but if they don't, nothing they can do can stop you because it won't make sense it will be pure prejudice. Go out withi him, and don't try to keep it from your parents either. Be open about it. IF your folks put you in a situation that is unsurmountable, then please write back and I may tell you what you can do. Good luck,
~Becca
Email: sweet_sk8er@yahoo.com
