Ed Warren: Hello?
Voice: Hello.
EW: Do you know who I am?
V: Yeah.
EW: Who am I?
V: Ed.
EW: That's right, Ed. Who are you?
V: Fred-die.
EW: Your Freddie, huh? What's your real name?
V: Yeccccch...(noise)
EW: When are you going to leave here, Fred?
V: Five hundred years.
EW: That's a long time. Can you move something to show us you are here?
V: No.
EW: Why not?
V: Tommy pulled my arm out.
EW: Oh, there's two of you? Put Tommy on.
V: (A new voice, though still gruff and gutteral) Yah, I'm Tommy.
EW: Tommy, how do you think we can get rid of all the problems happening in this house?
V: Kill the ghosties!
EW: Kill the ghosties? Aren't you the ghostie?
V: No!
EW: Tell me, how do you get into this house?
V: Came up from under the floorboards.
EW: How many of you are there all together?
V: (Counting slowly and deliberatley.) Ah...uh...one...two...three...four...five...six. Six are here. No five.
EW: What are their names?
V: Fred-die, Tom-mie, Billy, uh...Charlie, and Dick. John's not here.
EW: Where's John?
V: Don't know.
EW: Who's the leader? Are you the leader?
V: Nobody. Nobody's the leader. I'm a liar.
EW: Who else is here? Is there anyone else here?
V: Yeah.
EW: Who?
V: Gutter-Man's here.
EW: Put Gutter-Man on. Let him speak. Are you there Gutter-Man?
V: Yeah. (a different gutteral voice. This one a bit clearer).
EW: Gutter-Man, what do you have to say?
V: (yelping noises) This house is haunted. Kill the ghosties!
EW: Gutter-Man, were you ever alive?
V: In soldiers, I'm a soldier.
EW: In whose army were you a soldier?
V: All armies, I'm a soldier.
EW: Who else is here, Gutter-Man?
V: Ah...uh...Zachary's here.
EW: Put him on, Gutter-Man, let Zachary speak.
V: (Suddenly, there is incredable monaing and groaning. The voice is utterly bizzare. The wailing ends up in a long cry of "Help" that takes ten seconds to come out.)
EW: Holy cow. What was that? Put Zachary back on
V: (Woeful moaning occurs.)
EW: Who else is here, Fred?
V: I ain't Fred, I'm Tommy!
EW: Put Fred back on...Fred, are you there?
V: Yeah, Fred's here. (Voice change indicates "Fred" is speaking.)
EW: Fred, put Zachary back on.
V: Won't come. (Pause) I'll tell you someone else who's here. Teddy's here. Teddy-Man's here.
EW: Put Teddy-Man on, Fred.
V: Yeccccch...(Noise. Then silence, broken every few seconds by a parrot-like voice saying, "Hello." A second voice then picks up and says, "hello," to which the parrot voice responds with two hellos. A third voice joins in the hellos, then a fourth voice chimes in with its "hello"; then a fifth and sixth voice join in, forming a chorus of parrot-like voices saying "hello," which build finally into loud, wild shrieks. The additional voices then fall away, leaving the original parrot-voice repeating the singular "hello."
(Ed addresses the spirits again after the outburst, but there is no feedback.)
EW: You guys sound like something right out of hell.
V: Yeah.
EW: Where is hell, Fred?
V: Yecch...(noise)
EW: How old are you, Fred?
V: Sixteen.
EW: Are you a ghost, Fred?
V: No...uh...yes. I'm a ghost.
EW: Who?
V: Batman, I'm Batman.
EW: Batman isn't a ghost.
V: (Spirits lapse into an array of animal sounds, the most predominant being that of a barking dog.)
EW: You want to be animals? Imitate some animals. Imitate a pig.
V: (The snorting of a big.)
EW: How about a dog?
V: (Barking)
EW: How about a cat?
V: (Loud, screeching, me-ow.)
EW: How about a turkey?
V: (Gobbling)
EW: How old are you, Fred?
V: Seventy-eight. I'm a liar. tommy's a liar.
EW: I know.
V: Can I sing a song?
EW: Sure, Fred, go aheah and sing.
V: La-de-de-de-da...(gruffly) Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of holy water...ha...ha...ha...
EW: Are you a Christian, Fred?
V: Yick. A soldier. I'm a soldier!
EW: When did you die, Fred, as a soldier?
V: I'm always dead.
EW: Were you ever married, Fred? Did you ever have a wife?
V: Yeah.
EW: What was her name?
V: I don't know.
EW: How old are you know?
V: Thirty. I'm thirty.
EW: Do you know what day it is?
V: Yeah. The uh...seventh.
EW: Right. DO you know what month it is?
V: Au-goos. Awwguss. August. August seventh!
EW: Where did you get those names: Fred and Tommy and Bill and so on>
V: The graves.
EW: Do you ever go to the old graveyard near here?
V: Yeah.
EW: Why?
V: To read the graves.
EW: Do you like the graveyard, Fred? Why do you like the graveyard?
V: Death! (grunts)
EW: What do you think of us Americans?
V: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you...
EW: Do you know where America is, Fred?
V: I don't know. Can I come?
EW: No, Fred. Ive got enought to do without you.
V: Ed. Ed...Ed...
EW: What do you want, Fred?
V: Smash the recorder.
EW: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
V: Yeah. (Spirits pull origional tape out of recorder during session.)
EW: (Resuming) Do you know what 'm going to do with these tapes, Fred? I'm going to play them to some scientists I know in America. They're going to be very interested in you, Fred!
V: I'm gonna smash it in the night!(A guarrel then develops between two spirits as to who is going to "smash" the tape recorder. As the voices rise from the level of argument into one-against "yikes" and "howls," Ed sends Paul out to the car to get a bottle of holy water drawn from Walsingham Shrine, north of London. Paul returns to report the bottle of holy water is missing.)
EW: Where's the holy water, Fred?
V: I slung it!
EW: You slung it? If you don't bring that holy water back, we're going to perform exorcism on you!
V: Ha, ha, ha.
EW: Do you want me to bring a priest in here?
V: Yeah, all right. Bring 'im in. I'll kick 'im in the backside.
EW: What would you say if the Blesses Mother told you to leave, Fred?
V: Yecccch. Ugh.
EW: Do you know what this is Fred? What do you see?
V: Uh... a cross.
EW: That's right, a cross. That means your days are numbered here.
V: I'm gonna chop somebody's head off.
EW: The next time I come back here, Fred, you'd better be gone. Because the next time I come I'm bringing a very powerful exorcist with me, someone you won't want to mess with.
V: (There is a long lull.) Ed. Ed. Ed... Ed... Edward.
EW: What is it, Fred?
V: Let's play exorcist. Go get the holy water...