Eric Cartman
Cartman is the fat kid. He is eight years old and weighs 90 pounds! He is the one that gets teased the most due to his weight, which he claims to be the result of being big boned, but we know that it is because his mother, Mrs. Cartman, gives him too many Cheesy Poofs, Snacky Cakes, and chocolate chicken pot pies. Cartman's father is Mrs. Cartman. She is a hermaphrodite, which means she has both male and female sex organs. We do not know whom she impregnated.

Kenny McCormick
Kenny is the unlucky one. He dies at least once in every episode, his family is very poor, and his dad has a drinking problem. He is eight years old and has more lives than a cat. It is difficult to understand what he says due to his orange hood covering his mouth. Kenny is very foul-mouthed and seems to know a lot about sex.

Kyle Broslofski
Kyle is the smart one. He is eight years old and gets teased a lot because he is Jewish and does not celebrate Christmas. He likes to kick his football-shaped baby brother named Ike around. Cartman does not like Kyle's mom because he thinks that she is a bitch.

Stan Marsh
Stan is the cute one. He is eight years old and is the leader. He has a girlfriend named Wendy Testaburger, but he throws up every time she talks to him, which she doesn't seem to mind. He gets beaten up a lot by his sister, Shelly.

Mrs. Cartman
Eric Cartman's father. She is a hermaphrodite, which means she has both male and female sex organs. We do not know whom she impregnated. She feeds Cartman anything that he wants and is a slut.

Mr. McCormick
Kenny's dad. He has a drinking problem and spends all of the family's money on alcohol. That is why they are so poor.

Mrs. McCormick
Kenny's mom.

Mr. Broslofski
Kyle's dad.

Sheila Broslofski
Kyle's mom. Cartman thinks that she is a bitch.

Ike Broslofski
Kyle's Canadian brother. He was adopted by the Broslofski's.

Randy Marsh
Stan's dad. He is a seismologist.

Carol Marsh
Stan's mom.

Shelly Marsh
Stan's sister. She is really mean to Stan.

Grandpa Marsh
Stan's grandfather. He just wants to die.

Wendy Testaburger
Stan's girlfriend. She is very smart.

Uncle Jimbo
Stan's uncle. He loves to hunt.

Ned
Uncle Jimbo's vietnam war buddy. He talks through a cancer kazoo.

Chef
He works in the school cafeteria. He likes to sing songs to the children. The songs are usually perverted.

Mr. Garrison
He is the incompetent third grade teacher. He denies that he is gay and has a puppet named Mr. Hat.

Mr. Hat
Mr. Garrison's hand puppet.

Jesus
He is the son of God. He has his own cable access television show called "Jesus and Pals".

Mayor
She is the mayor of South Park. She is always trying to look good for political reasons.

Officer Barbrady
He is the South Park policeman.

Mephesto
He is a mad genetic engineer that lives on a hill.

Kevin
He is the strange little guy that looks like a monkey and follows Mephesto around.

Principal Victoria
She is the school principal.

Mr. Makay
He is the South Park elementary guidance counselor and is a recovering drug user.

Ms. Crabtree
She is the school bus driver.

Pip
He is the British third grader that no one likes. He gets teased a lot.

Bebe
She is Wendy's best friend.

Terrance & Phillip
They are the stars of the television show that revolves around bodily noises. The show is called "Terrance and Phillip".

Priest
He is the preacher of South Park.

Chief Running Water
He lives on the Ute Reservation.

Starvin' Marvin
He is the little "Ethernopian" boy that the boys adopt.

Mr. Hanky
He is the little talking Christmas poo that comes out around Christmas and will leave you gifts if you have a lot of fiber in your diet.

Tom
He is the owner of Tom's Rhinoplasty.

Big Gay Al
He is the helper of gay animals.

Damien
He is the son of Satan.

Satan
He is the Prince of Darkness and Damien's father.

Kitty
Cartman's cat.

Fluffy
Cartman's pot-bellied pig.

Sparky
Stan's gay dog.

Elephant
Kyle's pet elephant. It makes sweet love to Fluffy.

Saddam Hussein
He tries to take over Canada.

Sally Struthers
She is in the Adopt-A-Child commercials.

Miss Ellen
She is the substitute teacher that is a lesbian.

Kathie Lee Gifford
She comes to South Park in a glass dome.

Skuzzlebutt
He is the monster that lives in the mountains above South Park. One of his hands is made from celery, and one of his legs is Patrick Duffy.

Barbara
She comes to South Park looking for her magical triangle.

Visitor
The visitors are aliens from outer space. They think that cows are the smartest life forms on Earth.

Les Claypool
He is the singer of the South Park Theme song. He is also the lead singer of Primus.