MaN69SoN's FuCkEd Up WoRld Of MaKe BeLiEvE
WeLcUm To mY HoUsE oF hOrRoRs
CuM iNtO oUr HoMe...WoN't YoU sTaY?
Now that your here, don't be scared, enjoy the ride.
A little about me- I'm a 16 year old female from NY. But a lot of people think I'm just a freak.
PuNk AsS sIsSy, i'M a fReAk!
I guess they're right.
"drugs can mess you up, even kill you!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
D.A.R.E.
dare to keep kids ON drugs
Dont't drop out, stay in circle!
Recipe for Cake & Sodomy
You will need...
1 pound powdered sugar
2 jars unscented petroleum jelly
1 pair surgical latex gloves
6 pink birthday candles
1 box of sprinkles
INSTRUCTIONS...
burn
stir
fuck
til it bleeds
Steve's Journals:
"Why School Sucks"
School sucks because I have to do a lot of work that doesnt really make sense. Other kids suck teachers suck, and thats why school sucks.
"The Person I Admire Most"
The person I admire the most is billllly. He might not be the smartest person or the nicest person or even someone that I like. But he's chill and I admire him for coming out of the closet about his sexuality and admitting he's gay. I think that takes a lot of courage and I admire that.
"Why I Like McDonalds"
It's really yummy. I eat it every chance I get. Not only does its prime taste warm my insides it has great nutrional value as well. Its high in fat + cholestrol, and has very fin nutrients or vitamins. I would recomend any person with high cholestorol, or a serious hart condition to make them eat plenty of McDonalds.
"What I'm doing on the Weekend"
Friday the 24th Im doing nothing and the 25th nothing. And also the 26th I'm doing nothing. butt on the 27th I can get up nice and early and indulge myself in all the splendidness of school.
NINE STEPS FOR TERRORISM
1. ABSORB CONTRADICTION
2. SOAK UP DISTRACTION
3. KILL YOUR BOSS
4. BE FILTHY OF MIND
5. REINSTATE ILLOGICAL CONVERSATION
6. EMBRACE NEGATIVISM
7. BAPTISE BY ADDICTION
8. PREACH VICE
9. STEAL FOR WORTHLESSNESS
All the followers of my path, in order to reach spiritual discovery, must make one hallucinogenic trip per week with LSD, and every day with marijuana. They must search for inner ecstacy at every oppurtunity. They must abandon their families and society as soon as possible.
The MoSt FuCkEd QuEsTiOnS eVeR aSkEd
What are your views about "My Monkey"?
Do you know the muffin man?
Do you think dead stuff is cool?
What is your view on edukashun?
What do you think about thinking?
What do you use books for?
Are magic 8 balls really magic?
How do you feel about the secret cervix?
Do you belive in Elvis?
Were you ever abducted by an alien?
Hammna por queno salsa please?
Do you know the definition of Jeffery Dahmer?
Do you 88?
Does life really SUCK?
Would you be my neighbor?
Got any GUM?!
Do you believe Jeusus was $2.00 whore?
How come they never play cool songs on the radio?
Would/did you ever sell yourself for a piece of candy?
Do you beive Santa is Satan?
What do you think is the primary use of a banana?
What is your wildest fantasy in jell-o?
Do you think drugs are good or bad?
Are you into whips/chains/handcuffs?
Does your lampshade need an earring?
Is that a tear I see Pantera, is daddys lil' girl gonna cry?
Would you like a blow pop?
Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck?
What is the penal code?
Would/have you ever eaten edible underwear?
What goes on in the back of the mystery machine?
Nodigity lick my ass?
Whats under Twiggy's skirt/dress?
Take off your shirt?
Does your brain feel like its gonna explode?
Did this "test" make your brain feel like its gonna explode?
Would you rather be christian or gay?
Fuck me up the goatass?
Did you ever wake up naked kissing your pillow thinking of your dog?
Are you sick and tired of oppossums always biting you??? well, heres a oppossum you can bite!!!
Trick or treat?
Would you like a cookie or a medal for that?
Who is your favorite Roger Ramjet Scout? Yank, Doodle, Dan, or Dee?
Are we there yet?
Full of heady goodness?
Do you spit or swallow?
Did you dress the bear?
Was he pissed?
Eat some nutrious or delicious oppossum peices...pleeezze???
Is my shirt on backwards?
Is this scotch tape holding my earring on good?
Can i borrow your underwear...the one that says "KICK ME" on the ass?
Do redheads really glow in the dark?
Pig william, will you hold this ashtray?
How come you always know the words to sucky songs?
Wanna see a magic trick?
Are we having fun?
Wheres the 3?
Can i lick you?
Would you like 5 minutes alone?
Will you strip for free?
Why can cats dogs cows ants and bird go outsidd neket and wenn i do that the cops com??it sucks!!!
Have you ever pried open your third eye?
Questun to ask girls r u strate if so do u want to go to bed?
Is this applicaple in all of the 48 states including alaska?
Do you practice #5?
Do you want to be a HOSTAGE?
Do you stick to linoleum when you squat?
Please stop stalking me?
Glitter penises?
Is this a tumor?
Hey mom! wheres my Tastee Bread?
Won't you get the fuck out of my face NOW?!
Is my ass showing?
Do you mind if i pee in your pool?
Wanna come over a for a night cap you gay hunk of studly meat?
Are you a pocket fisherman?
Do u now mogin?
If i cut off your testicles would you scream?
Got any CHEEZE?
Have you been a naughty goat?
Do you look pregnant although you're not?
Go-go Gadget Rocket Skates?
Do you live under a bridge scare kids and kill squirrels?
Is D really for a loaded dumper?
Fagets-fairies, fairies-fagets, whats the difference they're both queer?
Do you have sticky, licky, honey paws?
Do you do kegstands until you hurl?
TUM-TUM TUM-DEE-DUM TUM-DUM...say what now?
Is scotch tape really scottish?
Do you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee?
Do you wish your mailman was a bear?
Would you like a snake-in-the-box, courtesy of billlllllly?
Fuck me up the naughty goat ass?
Question! How come every time a sucky video comes on tv and I tell Butt-head to change the channel and he never does?! FUNK DAT!
Question! How come Beavis is fiddling with his weiner 24 hours a day 7 days a week and never stops? FUNK DAT!
Want some budini?
Is a pubic zercronium just like a real diamond?
Sure i couldnt intrest you in a slightly used afterlife in the NetherWorld?
Ixnay on the hombre jenray?
Do you run like a girl and sit down to pee?
Is u a petofile?
Are you a psycohojlkjkjalogist?
Do you got more Chins than the Chinese phone book?
Can i slap you upside the head with a flaming metal lunchbox filled with bricks?
Do you want to ask magic 8ball a question?
Will it give me nightmares?
How come you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
When you're at a get-together does everybody always ask ain't no Halloween party why you wearin' that mask?
Whom are you?
Wanna see something top sercet?????
Will you DO IT for me?
Can i pet you?
Wheres my coin man???
Do you give a rats ass?
Have you ever been kissed by a giraffe?
You still got ghostbuster sheets on your bed?
Would you rather make out with a rusty fish hook?
Lets eat out?
Would you fuck a burn victim, amputee, or a dead body, cuz god you wanted to fuck?
Fuck L. Ron Hubbard? (no thanks)
Was your only school chum the lunch lady?
Can i poop on you?
Seen any good movies lately?
Whunt is up?
Paper or plastic?
Who is a liar but he that denieth that jesus is the christ?
Have you ever had a cuss-cuss on your head?
Thunderation?
Dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache?
Will this message self-destruct?
Did you fondled the seal?
I wont accidentily learn anything will I?
Fuck Frankie?
Will this involve pain?
Its 10pm, do you know where your other head is?
Does me eating cheese give you a stiffy?
Why is chadly always being a butt monkey and a half?
Are you a crouton man?
Was it Moses who brought the 10 Condoments?
Are you afraid of me? dont want me in your house? afraid i might kick your ass?? JERK!
How do you solve a problem like Marie?
Heard any haikus lately?
Are you getting enough oxygen?
What you gonna do when Hulk Hogan comes to wrestle you?
Whats your secret identidy?
You got drool in your beard?
What are we doing?
If i gave you my phone number would you call me?
Who woulda figured 2 boys cant skate together?
To be continued?
Will you give me my party cake?
Whats your email address?
I like your legs so much I'm going to name them.This one is Christmas and this one is New Years.Can I see you in between the holidays?
Were you always a guy?
Got Milk?
Would you hit yourself in the head for a quarter?
Do you have a Mongoloid cousin wearin' diapers?
Do you get a special feeling from those naked chick air freshners?
Rhombus, parellelogram, cameloid, diamond...get the picture?
Dang Blastit! What's going on?
Did u know Mr.T ate my balls?
Which one of these things is not the same?
Which one of these things is not like the other ones?
Which one of these things does not belong?
Are you normal?
r u a live???? i mene are you alive?
Did you like the taste of Crystal Pepsi?
Do you have that penis virus, you know when you cant get it up?
Wanna go to a tea party with hello kitty?
How come the Buffalo Bills never win the Super Bowl?
Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex?
Hey mogin, you still got drool in your beer?
Did Mother Teresa pray for your balls?
Why dont we do it in the road?
Could you live drinkin' your own whiz?
Do you need some quiet time or something?
How can someone lose their pants at a party?
Why do purple shoes make good pets?
Where's waldo?
Are there really 2000 flushes in 2000 Flushes?
Do you have time to sit around and wait for the mail?
Whys everybody always pickin' on me?
Do you contemplate what a grape nut is?
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
Would you rather be stoned or crucified?
Are you hooked on phonics?
Do they speak spanish in Spain?
If they called them sad meals, would people buy them?
What's so terrible about swallowing an apple seed?
Do you have a one finawringa?
Are those Bungle Boys you're wearing?
Are YOU in the book?
You don't want to be like Mr. Bungle do you?
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Do cavemen have cars up on blocks in their front yards?
Does Troy really talk like a mexican?
Do you burn a brain cell every time you think?
EmAiL mE yOuR tEsTeS rEsUlTs
Timothy Leary identified a genectic type whose future circuits have begun to be activated and coined them FUTANTS. Futants are naturally selected to facilitate survival by being better adapted to explore the future and take risks through their genetic characteristics. Unless we provide a proper environment of freedom in which this positive genetic types can be recognized, operate in, and the dross be seperated from the valuable information, we will be depriving the race of a vital resource. Every time a scientist, philosopher, artist, or athlete pushes our thresholds to new ground the entire race evolves. Ritual Magik is a system of disciplines and excercises aimed at activating parts of the mind we might normally never use (about 85%). Through this system a better understanding of ourselves is attained. No true Ritual Magician has ever sacrificed life, drank goat's blood, or taken part in any other stupid urban legend ritual. This sort of behaivor is left to the psychotic, dogmatic, fundamentalist believers you see on your T.V. everyday letting off bombs and killing people in the name of God. Beliefs are dangerous. Beliefs allow the mind to stop functioning. A non-functioning mind is clinically dead. * Believe in nothing...
69 Wonders of the World
1.algebra and cirlcles
2.Wonder Bread
3.Rubic's Cube
4.Billllllllllllly
5.Pablo
6.thinking
7.Stevie Wonder
8.Walmart
9.baby oil
10.the black hole
11.Bermuda Triangle
12.the lost city of Atlanta
13.Newwwbuuurrgh
14.silly putty
15.blow pops
16.8-balls
17.crack
18.books
19.Super Twigs
20.squeeky squeeky squeeky
21.Mr. Black
22.drugs/the government
23.the secret cervix
24.Beavis & Butt-head
25.porta-potties
26.redheads
27.the penal code
28.female condoms
29.edible underwear
30.driveby confessionals
31.Powdered Toast Man
32.LOG
33.the people in mn-YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
34.inbred families
35.beastiality
36.tiredness
37.fire
38.upstairs
39.spy class
40.shaven yaks
41.losing stuff
42.shiny stuff
43.69
44.violets
45.why is dead stuff cool?
46.brain explosions
47.pneumonoultramicroscopicsiliconvolcanoconiosis
48.Goodjuicy
49.fish sticks
50.Bigfoot
51.Jack LaLane
52.the purpose of life
53.god?
54.death
55.pussy galore
56.my monkey
57.Gay Johnny
58.tele-pathetic-ness
59.ESP(N2)
60.scratching on blackboards
61.scooby snacks
62.D.A.R.E.
63.whats under Twiggy's skirt?
64.unspeakable Elvis
65.L. Ron Hubbard
66.stinkfist
67.WalMart whitetrash wifebeaters
68.why am i doing this?
69.Marilyn Manson
THE PHILOSOPHIES OF THE SCOOBY DOO SHOW
Proof Scooby and Shaggy were all into drugs (weed & LSD)
1. They were always in the back of the Mystery Machine smoking up, you can almost hear the bong rips
2. Techno colors and super-trippy designs! Just look at the Mystery Machine, i bet Scoob & Shag painted it
3. They were always paranoid
4. They were always hungry
5. Shaggy was the only one who ever really talked to Scooby
6. They were always hallucinating ghosts and monsters that no one else saw
7. It was the 60s/70s. Everyone was doing it
8. Cause they were KEWL!
The sexual activities of the Scooby Doo gang
9. Velma had an affair with Scooby
10. That explains where Scrappy Doo came from
11. And Scappy Doo was always pissed off cuz he never got any
12. Shaggy was all into beastiality
13. Thats why Shaggy and Scooby were always in the back on the Mystery Machine alone
14. After Velmas affair with Scooby she turned into a lesbian
15. And she secretly had a cruch on Daphne
16. But Daphne was fucking Freddie
17. Thats why they always wore scarfs, to hide the hickies
18. That explains why they were always going off together
19. And Velma always tagged along with them to watch
20. Freddie was really an in the closet homosexual
21. He went out with Daphne to seem less queer
Our brains may be a little on the smooth side but it doesnt take a genius to know that evil is bad and good isnt!
WhY AsK WhY? dRiNk BuD DrY
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?
Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?
Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?
Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How can someone "draw a blank"?
Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?
Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for "thesaurus"?
When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?
Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?
Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?
Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?
Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
10 Ways To Scare Your Neighbors
1.Order pizza and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don't have a phone.
2.Stand over the plants in your yard with a hose and Scream, "I have your life in my hands, bow down to me!". Then point at each one and declare them good or bad plants,while watering the bad ones.
3.Bring them restraining orders on inanimate objects in their house. (ie: chairs, books, lamps, etc.)
4.Ask them if you can put your trash in their cans, if they ask why say, "Mine are full of bodies", then stutter and say, "I uh mean other garbage." walk away laughing hysterically.
5.Patrol the perimeter of your yard while carrying a broom. If they come close state that their is a 3 foot neutral area between the two yards.
6.At night transplant the plants in their garden. In the morning say, "looks like they're on the move again."
7.When they're watching TV, pull a lawn chair behind their window. Sit down with popcorn and a drink and ask them if they could open a window so you can hear too.
8.Build snowmen with name tags of your neighbours. Each day hack off a different part of their body.
9.Use your TV remote to change the channels on their TV from outside. If asked why, say you protest such programs. (The more educational the program the better.)
10.Dig shallow graves at night filling your yard with brown grave patches. Make markers out of household applainces.
Qu0tEs
no cop no stop
leaves of 3 let them be, leaves of 4 eat some more, leaves of 5 toke some more
full of heady goodness!
HES A BASTARD!!!!!!!
Wisconsin...the BEER state!
YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BIG HONKING PILE OF BUNCH DIRT!!!!
THANK YOU SIR! MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?!
got the pickles in my pocket
simon says say oral
HEY! WHOA! DONT TOUCH ME!!!!
if you listen loudly you can probally hear someone beating a dead horse
coffee is just like smoking addictive and disgusting
i gots no legs! i gots no legs!
not my problem
what do you want me to do about it?
i know everything sucks yea, i know everything sucks whoa, and this is the last time you'll hear me complain
maybe they're getting kinky they do that every once in a while
faster you bastard, faster bastard, faster you bastard, let it burn
cop stop for donut shop
i stop for girls and they run a way
hey everybody! i have a chairass in my mouth!
BUTT-HEAD BUTT-HEAD BARE ASS ON TV!!!
i pee into the hole, i shovel for control
buy later pay now
get less for more
i got my cincos and my sietes mixed up
we may be dumb but we rule
we're the coolest people i know
we may suck now, but we may get better
I'm the King of my pants!
god is great god is good, I thank you for this morning wood
If we could be any other brothers we'd be Dweezil & Ahmet, cuz we wouldn't want to be Liam & Noel
you don't need pants for the victory dance!
I love my turn
eat your meat
its a good thing i had teeth
if i wanted my face to bleed i would have got a knife
cum and spit dont rhyme
smoking a hooka is like drinking smoke with a straw
theres a cap on this bong
so, i see you have a dr. pecker
Oh look at the cookbook! BOOM! old lady peices
Life is a game that no one wins
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin'
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit
No take that towel and hang yourself with it
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf
So save the planet and kill yourself
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about
Lift your head up and blow your brains out
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out
So take your life instead of taking it for granted
I'm thinking you should can it I think I'll help you plan it
Live today like it's gonna be your last
Hang out blow your mind have yourself a gas
DoN't YoU dArE TeLL yOuR MaMa I bRoUgHt YoU hErE cAuSe ThErE aIn'T nO gOiNg BaCk NoW b0y...
***************************************
This be the small print so get out your magnifing glass and your reading glasses and stuff get ready for an eye strain cuz here it comes: This offer is acclicaple in all of the 48 states including alaska, must be 18 or older to enter. Offer only eligible to those who practice #5 and those who can read this. And if you cant read this then I guess you suck and you cant enter to win a NEW LIFE! courtesy of Your Life Sucks Incorporated- dedicated to improving the lives of those who suck. Many will enter few will win. Good Luck!
*LiNx*
PaGe CoNtInUeD
Our X-Mas Album
BILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY!!!!!!
Marilyn Manson's Misery Machine
Kornophobia
The Church of Satan
Cow Tipping
High Times
Black Plague
Hello Kitty's Tea Party
Church of the Antichrist Superstar
Bert is Evil!
Email: zim69zum@hotmail.com