Natural Ice Drinkers of America

Pictured (L-R): Eddy, Goodwin, Hartloff

Established in March 1998, Natural Ice Drinkers of America (or NIDA) is gaining members at a staggering rate. And in a vain attempt to make NIDA interactive, as well as feed my ego, I will be accepting new applicants to join our ranks. If selected, you will be entitled to the same benefits -- nothing tangible of course -- that other members of NIDA enjoy. These benefits include, but are not limited to, the ability to drink really cheap beer and convince yourself it's good, the ability to puke on anybody's lawn and/or person, and, of course, the ability to say incredibly stupid things and break stuff.

If you want a piece of the action, e-mail me a copy of your application. Your application should include, but is not limited to, your name (with middle initial), the amount of Natural Ice (NI) you drink, and the reason you think you should be a member of NIDA. As an added incentive, the first 147 people to apply will win 10 free copies of the Jesus Christ Superstar Soundtrack.

For the unenlightened: Natural Ice is brought to you by Anheiser Busch. (That's right -- the same people that are responsible for Budweiser are responsible for Natural Ice.) It's characteristics include an unhealthy brown appearance, a strong, almost unbearable taste, an even more unbearable, bitter aftertaste, and, most importantly, a 5.9% alcohol level.


Natural Ice is Everywhere... Take a Look.

Founding Fathers of NIDA

• Matthew K. Eddy - Chief Executive of Beer Drinking Affairs
• Matthew J. Hartloff - Vice President of Beer Drinking Affairs
• David J. Goodwin - Secretary of Domestic Beer Drinking Affairs

Members of NIDA
25 strong and counting

• Daniel T. Crisp - listened to Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet" for four consecutive hours while drinking NI at 1 in the afternoon
• Chris Costigan - Good God, why did they give him a case of NI?
• Joseph T. Sweeney - enjoys "gettin' jiggy with it" and fast, topless women while drinking NI
• Paul Cramer - would gladly trade all his Britney Spears- related merchandise (including autographed copy of Baby One More Time) for a case of cool, refreshing NI.
• Timothy S. Lindhome - refuses to get laid without the aid of NI
• Jeremy J. Phelps - enjoys destroying bicycles, signs, wheelbarrows, etc. while drinking NI
• Todd Lewandowski - enjoys NI more than removing DJs from the airwaves.
• Anthony B. Hopkins - (member as a result of Affirmative Action Act of 1998) watched Shaft marathon while under the influence of NI; later he was arrested for public intoxication
• Brian Conaghan - nothing can stop this J/MC major straight outta Brooklyn, NY from playing House of Pain on his show...or drinking large quantities of NI.
• Charles Provost - enjoys his NI more than buying a new pair of Nike windpants.
• Brad D. Blue - Colorado State University student whose fraternity swears by NI and has named it their official beer.
  THE FOLLOWING 14 ENTRIES HAIL FROM MARCH HALL WEST AT SOUTH DAKOTA SCHOOL OF MINES & TECH AND WORSHIP THE CAN THAT NATURAL ICE COMES IN
• Paul "Big Cheese" Conradt
• John "Gimpy" Abrams
• Chris "Squirl" Hill
• Luke "Skywalker" Klemke
• Troy Travnicek
• Ben Connot
• Ray "Leroy" Aljets
• Pat Deering
• Pat "Ginnie" McGinnis
• Brian "Flounder" Whitlef
• Chris "Rocky Nailers" Ehlers
• Josh "Stinger" Sting
• Eric Harris
• Mike Pollard