"I SAID NEE-HA!"
The Late Night With Conan O'Brien Newsletter #02/07-053
Hello everybuddy! I am sorry we are a little late this week. I’ve been off doing some conetastic things, and I got a little distracted there… won’t happen again…
It seems like it’s been a purdy quiet week here in the world of Conan fandom. Nuthin’ much has been happening… big plans are afoot though… I’m going to see the show for the first time purdy soon (I’m so happy to announce that here)… I’ll no longer be a Conan-Taping-Virgin. You’ll see…. I can’t wait!
Have a great week everyone and let's get it awn!
Late Night Linzi
Editor
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CONTENTS -
LATE NIGHT NEWS
LATE NIGHT POLL
SIGHTINGS (Conan Look-a-likes!)
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
UPCOMING GUESTS – Feb 9 – 18th 1999
WEEK IN REVIEW
FYI
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LATE NIGHT NEWS
Damone’s Late Night With Conan And Merv has had a long awaited revamp last week. The biggest and one of the oldest Conan-fan-websites on the www was completely madeover, now it’s slicker, quicker, and much easier to navigate. You’ll see. It looks fab guys, check it out at the address below:
http://www.ios.com/~damone/gconan.html
NEW AT NBC.COM/CONAN: Check out four new bands this week that entered the College Band Search and ended up in the worthy-mention category. The winning band will appear shortly… Watch out for some new "Public Service Announcements", "Buried in the Back Pages", and "Actual Items". Also, don’t miss a new "Classic Conan" clip on the site. The clip features a hilarious bit where Conan and Andy visit Bob Dole's web site…… And coming soon, some new "Satellite TV's."
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LATE NIGHT POLL
THIS WEEK’S POLL QUESTION: Who would win in a Staring Contest, Jeremy or Ira?
Send your response to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com
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LAST WEEK’S POLL QUESTION: What's your favorite character?
My fave Late Night Character, god forgive me, is the Masturbating Bear. It's such a funny thing, and Late Night was creative and daring for coming up with it. (SodapopDSR)
It’s a 2 way tie. PimpBot5000 for learnin' me the ways of tha pimp. (suckah) and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, because you don't know how many times you can bail yourself out of a situation by saying "for me to poop on." (Andrew)
My favorite character on the show would definitely have to be Stacy!! She has the greatest come backs and is fighting for her love of Conan!! She does and says what all of the girl fans out there would say to Conan if he ever rejected us!! There should be a lot more of Stacy!! (Julie)
I realize that I may be in the minority, but my favorite Late Night character is the Reverend Otis K. Dribbles. I don't know what it is, maybe the long, flowing nightgown, or the fact that he's supposed to be a basset hound, but I just love this character. Like Conan said, "there's nothing TO get" and that's what makes this character so funny. You gotta love the name too. (Joey)
My favorites of all time are the devil and the bear that pop up on Conan's shoulder and help him make his tough decisions. I wish they'd do that bit more often! (Gluebug)
The Hitler Puppet--no explanation really needed! (Annie)
My favorite character is Andy. He just looks so real. And of course the masturbating bear is great too. (Mr Blue)
The most lovable characters on the show are Andy and Conan. I love you both. (Maureen)
I haven't tuned in too much over these past few weeks, but I did catch the sketch of the shirtless moron. Now that cracked me up, he reminded me of my shirtless moronic neighbor who washes his car. Not a pretty picture. (Claudia)
My favorite character is Stacy Richter just cause it´s nice to get to know more about Andy´s family and private life (wink,wink). And those segments show that both Andy and Conan have quite some acting ability. (Stephan)
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SIGHTINGS (Conan Look-a-likes!)
I was in the Indianapolis Airport heading for San Francisco, when I saw a very strikingly tall, rather fine looking red head! He sat near us in the food court ala pizza hut and I noticed him reading some papers, and the emblem on the side of his briefcase? Well let's just say this, it was the same last name of our wonderful Late Night Host. I pointed this out to my stepsister who just laughed. When we sat down in our terminal, low and behold, who sat next to us? You guessed it. He did. Now I KNEW it wasn't Conan, but he could definitely be a close relative, cousin, brother, etc. I was too much of a wuss to ask his full name, or where he was from, but when we boarded the plane....he sat first class! (Which actually means nothing....well....money.) So was it a relative? Who knows!? (Tricia)
I was on the train heading home for Christmas on our college break. At one of the stops an incredibly gorgeous CONAN O'BRIEN look-a-like boarded the train. I couldn't keep myself from staring at this god. The train ended up being severely delayed because of the weather, so when I went looking for someone with a cell phone, I ran into this Conan look-a-like, and he lent me his. After I made the call I sat with him for the rest of the train ride and we talked. We exchanged numbers before getting off the train, and now we are together, boyfriend-girlfriend, happily ever after..... (CAROLINE)
Recently I started tutoring a girl in her math class. I just kind of sit there and answer her questions when she has them. Well, for the first week that I was tutoring her the teacher had a substitute so I didn't know what the actual teacher looked like. When he came back I almost fainted from surprise. He looks almost exactly like Conan! Except that he's a little shorter and has no freckles but other than that exactly. He has the same hair, same eyes, but definitely not the same personality. (TRICIA)
Not just a Conan sighting, but get this- Conan and Andy competing in the 1995 International Juggler's Convention under the name Crash and Burn. The actual jugglers, Jay Gilligan and David Cain, look so much like Conan and Andy its scary. (Gluebug)
For Christmas I was given my very own copy of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", and of course I have watched it dozens of times. Anyway, In the tail of Sir Lancelot (the wedding one). I noticed that one of the guards in front of the castle looks a lot like Conan (the one that is not killed) except for a large scar on his left cheek. I believe this actually Conan and that he used his powers to travel back in time to make an appearance. (Wiggum)
When I was at the South Florida Fair about two weeks ago, I saw a man so handsome he could've been Conan. You Conanites may remember the show where (Salma Hayek?) dressed up Conan in a 60's getup. I saw a tall redhead with a HUGE afro. He was wearing Baggy jeans, and a shirt with a smiley redhead on it!! I was so psyched. When he turned around, I reached out and touched the ‘fro. It was soft!! He reminded me of Conan, as does every redhead I see. He smiled at ME, and said 'Hey,'. And I said, Hey. And I told him he reminded me of someone and he said, 'Lemme guess, Conan O'Brien?' I told him 'ayuh'. And he left. I guess he didn't like that idea, don't ask me why. &:-) Redheads Are Hot!! (Miss_Krunk)
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THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
Yes, it is I, your intrepid feature reporter Micah Honees-back with you after a stint on the disabled list. Seems I was injured wrestling The Bottle-and let me tell you, mister, that Jimmy Beam packs quite a punch. But I am back better than ever with a poker chip in my hand and a clear head and heart.
While on sabbatical, it seemed I could nary leave my FREAKS behind. I went hunting on the Dark Continent with my intrepid Sherpa guide the (have I mentioned?) intrepid Holden Uplickre-Storrs and found many a freak hiding in the nooks and crannies that are the Thomas' English muffins of the Dark Continent.
One early morning at the crack of Dawn (a lovely woman, by the way) Holden and myself trekked out loaded for bear but found nothing but FREAKS instead. Behind a rock was the spectre of Bryant Gumbel and his nipple rings. On the horizon I saw what appeared to be the shadowy gait of Timothy 'Speed' Levitch, himself an intrepid guide of the New York "eroticizing the concrete" variety. Got to watch out for those kinds. They're extra wily. Eroticizing, indeed.
And then, on our third day of hunting with nothing to show for our efforts but blistered feet and tempers shorter than that Ally McButter's hemline, we came across The Great Beast, King of All Freaks. No, it was not Roseanne, but that's a good try.
Let me break it down like this: ever hear of how the divine mother will appear in a taco shell in Mexico…or how a statue of the J-man himself will appear to cry at the Vatican? You know these stories, right? It's all sort of circumspect and a little difficult to believe. Having said that, I swear on a stack of Guns and Ammo that the mirage of Scott Thompson--The Freak of the Year, in the year of our Lord, 1998--appeared to me over the horizon. I implore you to believe me, dear reader, although I did not want to believe it myself. But Holden, ever the intrepid Sherpa, tells me that it's true.
What is undeniable is that Scott freaking Thompson is simply the biggest FREAK we have on this planet that revolves around Late Night with Conan O'Brien. The man always makes Conan a little nervous and you know what? He makes me a little nervous, too. You just have no idea what the hell the guy is gonna do. Whether it's talking about his dog (which was his French boyfriend's dog) or dressing up as his alter ego Buddy Cole to plug his book (Buddy Babylon is available at finer retailers as I type this…I think) four times or to call up the lady who sold him his Saturn, Scott Thompson can be counted on to shock, amaze, horrify, and entertain us each and every time. And to him I send good tidings and eternal thanks. Some things are worth coming back for.
Now I know what you're thinking. How does one find a qualified Sherpa guide by the name of Holden Uplickre-Storrs-a name that is so obviously Danish in nature and decidedly not Sherpa-esque? Well, it's easy. You make the whole thing up. But a word of advice: get a column in a weekly newsletter first. Then no one will call you weird. They'll call you something else..."genius" if you're lucky.
This might have been a long-ass exercise in thanking those who voiced their concern whilst I was away bettering myself. To both of you who are not related to me, I offer my never-ending gratitude and a promise that we'll be back next week with a good old-fashioned freak whoopin'. See you all in seven.
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UPCOMING GUESTS – Feb 9 – 18th 1999
MONDAY The 8th (First shown on 10/14/98):
Sandra Bullock,
Scott Thompson,
Rasputina
TUESDAY The 9th:
Stephen King
Gloria Reuben
Sixpence None the Richer
WEDNESDAY The 10th:
John Tesh
Jeri Ryan
THURSDAY The 11th:
Rosie O'Donnell
Daniel Stern
FRIDAY The 12th:
Bill Maher
Fabio
Cyndi Lauper
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MONDAY The 15th:
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Marc Maron
Kevin Brennan
TUESDAY The 16th:
James Ellroy
WEDNESDAY The 17th:
Rosie Perez
Joshua Jackson
John Pizzarelli
THURSDAY The 18th:
Andy Garcia
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UPCOMING MUSO GUESTS:
Susan Tedeschi (March 03)
The Chieftains (March 17)
Steve Earle & The Del McCoury Band (March 19)
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WEEK IN REVIEW
Tuesday February 2nd:
Stephen Wright, Kellie Martin, The Marvelous Three
Chat: Andy has the flu
Slow motion-replay from Superbowl
SAT analogies
PSA's
Wednesday February 3rd:
Julia Sweeny, Eric McCormack, Marc Maron
Chat: Thumbnails, Andy's recovery
Children's drawings
Shirtless Moron brings green card
Thursday February 4th:
Gwyneth Paltrow, Tim Russert, Jason Schwartzman
Chat: Andy's on antibiotics
Buried in the Back Pages
Conan's goldfish
Friday February 5th:
Pamela Anderson, Michael T. Weiss, Ricky Skaggs
Chat: Pamela not arriving
Channel surfing
Conan and Andy as superheroes
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FYI
"NEE-HA!" #53 was edited by Linzi Gallacher with thanks to Micah Honees, Robin Banks and Quinn.
"NEE-HA!" is on the web at:
http://www.angelfire.com/ny/lacob/conan.html
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END QUOTE
"Senators said they want the final vote in the impeachment trial to be held on Abraham Lincoln's birthday. A very confused Strom Thurmond said he won't be able to attend because he's going to Lincoln's birthday party." – Conologue Joke
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