"I SAID NEE-HA!"
The Late Night With Conan O'Brien Newsletter #11/15-045
Hola everybuddy!! Hope you're having a fab week. Welcome all our new subscribers to the Neeha clan - the biggest ever new bunch this week 104 which pushes the mailing list up to 1542 now!! (I only just counted this morning). We've been here for almost a year now... so, I'd like to just take a quick minute to say "cheers thanks a lot" to everyone who has stuck with our small little group of fans from the beginning... and all the newer subscribers too. You're all cooler than a very cool thing.
I'm in screen name semi-crisis here. For quite a while now, I've been thinking of dumping the screen name "LACOB" - I just don't like it anymore. However, I am stuck, and I'd like to turn to you for help. Please help me think of a better screen name... I wanted to have Neeha@aol.com but sadly it's not available. So, I'm stuck, all ideas are appreciated.
It's also come to my attention that Neeha is pretty long sometimes. So, from next year, I'm thinking aboot doing a monthly version, for all the people who don't have time for the weekly one. It would be condensed and include, a news recap, the best features etc. But, I'd like your opinions on it first. Would you prefer to receive a monthly version? Lemme know what you think.
Have a Conanderful week everyone and let's get it awn!
Late Night Linzi
Editor
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CONTENTS -
LATE NIGHT NEWS
LATE NIGHT POLL
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
UPCOMING GUESTS - November 16 - 27 1998
THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
WEEK IN REVIEW By Stephanie
FYI
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LATE NIGHT NEWS
SPEND ALL OF NEXT YEAR WITH CONAN!! Sounds too conetastic to be true eh? Well, it's not quite "Win A Date" but it's still a cool-gift-idea for Chrimbo* or just for surprising the Conan fan you love (HINT HINT!!) Amazon.com has a brand new Late Night With Conan O'Brien 1999 calendar for sale at the sweet price of $8.76 (you save around 20% when you order online). It'll be a conetastic way to get to the year 2000...
http://www.amazon.com
Search with keywords: Conan O'Brien
*Public apology for mentioning the "C" word before December.
ON THE COB-WEB:
MISFIT MEDIA GUIDE TO LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN has a conetastic brand new look. It's all framed up, making it easier to find what you're looking for in this seemingly endless archive of information, multimedia and episode guides... If you haven't already, check it out at: http://www.artomatic.com/~hgambill/conan.html
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LATE NIGHT POLL
THIS WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: Who would win in a cage match Conan or Andy?
Send your response before Thursday to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com
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LAST WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: If you could live as one of the characters, which one would you choose to be?
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Scott -
I'd live as "The Masturbating Bear" 'cause...well...that character is practically me!
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Brian -
I would say Stacey, but that isn't very creative, now, is it? The character I'm thinking of has never appeared on the show, but for those of you who've read the Conan Chronicals, I would want to be Quinn, at least while she was under his desk. Hi Quinn! :)
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Sarah -
If I could be one of the characters on Late Night, I would be... probably Jeremy or Ira. Face it- they get to cuddle little Hudson [the very same Hudson which is constantly being cuddled by Conan and has perhaps GULP! even seen him naked! and are SO incredibly close (like, 10 feet away from) to Conan and Andy. Or maybe Stacy because she can hang out with Andy whenever she wants and can maybe persuade her big brother to hook her up with Conan!
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Steph -
Letz See.. I would like to be either Stacy(Andy's little sister) or The Bullet Proof Legz Guy! Being Stacy would be awesome because you would be Andy's sister and you could hang around with Andy almost anytime you want to.. and probably Conan too! And about the Bullet proof legz guy.. I mean common Don't you just love that song!
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Jack -
Pimp-Bot, of course. Because you could be two of coolest things on the face of the earth. A "Pimp" which is a title that gets you all the money, and all the women, as well as the right to wear ugly as can be clothes. Not to mention you get to be a "Bot", which as we all know is only two letters from being as cool as a Robot.
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Sofi -
Who would I like to live as? Most definitely the Masturbating Bear. Imagine the freedom!!!
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Ali -
If I could live as a character on the show it would definitely be Stacey. Not only does she love Conan like I do, she gets to see him and Andy whenever she wants because she's Andy's sister. Also, she can hurl insults at two TV personalities on their show and still get invited back.
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Energy90 -
If I could live as one of the characters on late night, it would have to be Triumph. He's so cool..."for me to poop on".
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Bron -
Stacy, cause she's such an obsessive dork....even more then me...so it could be fun.
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John -
I would be the 7-foot groucho because that would be "the craziest thing I've ever hoid."
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Miss_Krunk
Characters, characters...I think the character I'd like to be is Stacy Richter! All I do is think about Conan, fantasize about Conan, worship Conan, blush for Conan, deny my love for him, and secretly perform rituals in his honor...um, scratch that last part...hehehe. That would be easy, because I do all those things. I love my dearest redhead. Happy Official Conan Day everyone!!
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THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
Oh, baby. Do we ever have a FREAK OF THE WEEK for you. In fact, if we were to elect a FREAK OF THE WEEK for the new millennium, Timothy "Speed" Levitch might have a plain or peanut m+m tattooed on his ass. If there ever if a FREAK OF THE WEEK Hall of Fame-cologne and other gifts located on the first floor-this dude would have to have his own wing.
For those who didn't see it, Levitch is a New York City tour guide who has a new documentary called "The Cruise" that he was promoting. "The Cruise" purports to show Old Speed at his New York-showingest best as he peppers his banter with all sorts of weird alliteration in an attempt to scare tourists with his version of the city.
But do we really want to see any of his New York? As someone planning a trip to the city that doesn't sleep, I'm not 100% sure. Let's play a little game I like to think of as "Actual Quotes". Here are some of Timothy Levitch's observations as they played out on "Late Night":
"When I see the concrete (buildings in NY) I see flesh, Conan."
What?
"When I walk the streets I'm eroticising the streets."
Huh?
"I think of architecture, Conan, as the history of all phallic emotions."
Come again?
Then he equated the Empire State Building with a...well, you know what he meant. Before that he explained that he became a double-decker bus tour guide to meet women from all over the world. A noble thought, yes, but it loses a bit of its luster when in his next breath he describes tourists as "international flesh congregations".
When asked about his documentary, our crescent fresh guest professed a "gross detachment" from the events as they unfold on-screen. He described himself-and I swear I'm not making this up-as a true-life Muppet character; punctuated with the musical question "Who did Grover sleep with?" The question is pretty valid and I admit to wondering the same thing. My answer is: Greg Brady. He had the cool Brady hair and the crushed velvet pants that reminded me instantly of the hipster "Johnny Bravo" episode where The Gregster nearly tuned in and dropped out on his way to a singing career.
After watching the exploits and crack-baby fidgety nature of Speed Levitch, I felt a little empty...like something was missing. Then it hit me: I really wished the late, great, Andy Kaufman weren't quite so late so he could play Speed in the real big-screen adventure sure to come.
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UPCOMING GUESTS - November 16 - 27 1998
MONDAY, November 16 (Repeat of 1/9/98):
Minnie Driver,
Richard Belzer,
B.B. King
TUESDAY, November 17:
Alyssa Milano,
Kevin Pollak,
R.E.M.
WEDNESDAY, November 18:
Rob Schneider,
Jerry Stiller,
Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Carolla
Joe Louis Walker (sitting in with the MW7)
THURSDAY, November 19:
Jennifer Love Hewitt,
Marc Maron,
Christopher Lowell (interior decorator)
FRIDAY, November 20:
Jerry Springer,
Charlize Theron,
Everclear
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MONDAY, November 23 (Repeat of 4/21/98):
Gwyneth Paltrow,
Tom Snyder,
Fastball
TUESDAY, November 24:
Dave Foley,
Garth Brooks
WEDNESDAY, Novemver 25:
Jon Lovitz,
Stuttering John Melendez
THURSDAY, November 26:
To Be Arranged
FRIDAY, November 27:
Dame Judi Dench,
Wayne Gretzky,
Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach
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THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
Monday November 17-- as always with a Monday--was a repeat, a swell and swanky one with a repeat from Valentine's Days of last year. Conan and Andy presented a Valentine's Day Survival Guide. Guests were the hilarious Richard Harris, comedian Jake Johannsen, and actress Vivica A. Fox who was wearing these (I hope) fake snakeskin pants which Conan drooled over saying they were "the sexiest pants he'd ever seen".
On Tuesday November 18, Conan and Andy suggest some new styles that Barbie might want to consider, then check out some Children's Drawings. Later on in the show Andy notices that Joel is depressed again... Guests were Sam Donaldson and Cokie Roberts who revealed her "druggy" nickname to Conan, Carrot Top showed us a bunch of stuff that he'd brought with him, Conan told him that he'd wanted to be the original Carrot Top. And, music from Jackson Browne.
You know you're famous when.... you're an answer to a question on a quiz show like Jeopardy, and the contestant gets it WRONG!! Andy shows off that little moment when he realized just how well-known he actually is on Wednesday November 19. Conan and Andy look at the news that's Buried In The Back Pages for the first time, later they do some Public Service Announcements. Guests were Denis Leary, Marcia Gay Harden and Frank Santorelli.
Thursday, November 20 was an unforgettable night. Everyone's doing sex tapes these days, and the staff of Late Night are no different. Conan, Andy, Max and Bobby Bowman, show theirs... Guests were George Wendt who showed a tape of his drinking, soccer star Julie Foudy, and Terry Jones. Conan and Andy think that the audience from the previous night's show were Stupid... but they're watching the show and come to fight back.
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WEEK IN REVIEW By Stephanie
VISIT Stephanie's Conan-site: http://fly.to/Conan-aka-GOD
MONDAY, November 9 (Repeat of 3/6/98):
Frederique,
Boyd Matson,
Finley Quaye
Andy Co-hosts from home
Bar Mitzvah
This is the third time they've shown this episode. Andy is co-hosting the show from home via computer. He played loud music, smoked, drank, downloaded porn for Joyce Brothers, and killed her when the computer exploded while downloading too much porn.
Max hosted a Bar Mitzvah in the middle of the show, which made Conan mad. It ended with someone smashing a bottle over Conan's head and they got their way. Boyd Matson, from "National Geographic Explorer" talked about bears, a common subject of Late Night. *He* says you're supposed to make a lot of noise. Someday we will learn what you are really supposed to do when you meet up with a bear.
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TUESDAY, November 10:
Chris Kattan,
Kate Mulgrew,
Gomez,
Segue Sam,
Cheer Up Newt Gingrich!
The show began with an explanation of why Andy had a cut lip. Apparently the boys were wresting around for a sketch they were shooting and Conan got too rough..."A complete accident." Sure Conan.
Conan is losing his ability to come up with a smooth transition from one subject to another--this called for a new character, Segue Sam. Sam is a classy guy, stretched out on a couch, in a robe, sipping a Cosmopolitan. He boldly provided a segue from the College Band Search to Kate Mulgrew....but the Conan couldn't go from Sam to the commercial! Poor guy...Sam returned and helped out.
Kate Mulgrew of Star Trek: Voyager was next, and Conan was accused for the second time in a month of being a Trekky....he denied it, then admitted to being a "trekky nerd" and fretted about making people mad for it. Of course, from the commercial, Conan was having trouble again. Andy wasted no time in calling Sam back--but Sam had been murdered! It was horrible, grizzly, like something out of the Adams Family or something...you know, Gomez is the name of the Dad of the Addams'...and the name of the band up next! It all ended happily, and Sam helped even in death.
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WEDNESDAY, November 11:
Luke Perry
Ice Cube
Max On Max
In The Year 2000
Different colored Sashes
Bruce Springsteen has been elected into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, but Max wasn't. He was disqualified when they saw a certain video tape...Max On Max. 90210 star once again Luke "Dylan McKay" Perry made his third appearance on the show--and Conan immediately told him that Jason Priestly had said he's 59 years old. Luke still didn't slip, there is still no telling how old he really is.
Red sashes mean that the writers are busy. I guess. Cream Colored means you're busy but you can be interrupted. Light blue means your arm is stuck in the copy machine. Turquoise means you secretly think you should be host of the show. Purple means you just found out you were adopted. Silver means that you are #1 and people should fear your incredible power (Conan, of course, was wearing this one.) Green means you don't like wearing pants. Apparently this is incredibly helpful...at least the MW7 made things sane again by playing Springsteen's "Glory Days."
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THURSDAY, November 12:
Richard Dean Anderson,
Tom Everett Scott,
Missy Jiovi,
Conan and Andy, One Heck of A Team,
The Be Yourself Gang
Conan and Andy took a look at the old days--like how they used to put on educational plays for kids. Conan played Abraham Lincoln, Andy John Wilks Booth...but the gun wouldn't work, so Andy pulled a chainsaw on him. Then of course there was the time they were secret agents, and Andy screwed up because he saw a clown flirting with a blind hog and said so, but that was also the code for the go-ahead to kill someone. And, last but not least, the time they were strippers...Andy a cowboy, Conan a construction worker in leather shorts...dancing for a bunch of lesbians...
Richard Dean Anderson, best known as "McGiver" kept bringing up things that Conan had done or said before the show, apparently something about "no crap TV" and about Conan's dancing ability. He also said something bad about the 12:30 timeslot, because his show is being reran at that time. Conan reassured him that the viewers were all somewhere else. He even let the phrase "three million viewers" slip out somewhere in there. I say it's about time Conan is facing that his show is popular.
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FRIDAY, November 13:
Roma Downey,
Todd,
Al Green,
Desk Drive,
Segue Sam
First off, Conan had a rowdy audience. They kept shouting praise at him. Those are my people. ;) They went on a great desk drive tonight, although Conan kicked Andy out. Andy ran down the street, caught a cab, and jumped back on the desk after three tries.
"Touched By an Angel's" Roma Downey came out and discussed--what else--being Irish with Conan. She told him about common names (like "Patrick") and talked about how she can't really take on any roles that would make her look bad because so many people think of her as an angel.
Well...Conan's having trouble with segues *again*...Andy told him about Segue Sam as if they had never had the discussion in their lives, and Sam is mysteriously alive again. He had to help out twice again. He also had to come out to help Conan with a segue to Al Green...but Sam was arrested for flashing senior citizens. Andy said he was *not* green with envy of Sam. You can imagine where it went from there. Sam is so helpful, even when he isn't there.
Al Green topped off the night with the terrific song "I'm So In Love With You," a real treat for us Late Night fans...well, for me anyway. Until next week guys!
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FYI
"NEE-HA!" #45 is edited by Linzi Gallacher with with thanks to Micah Honees, Robin Banks, and Stephanie.
"NEE-HA!" is on the web at:
http://www.angelfire.com/ny/lacob/conan.html
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END QUOTE
IN THE YEAR 2000... "After 23 years Miss Piggy will finally end her relationship with Kermit when he converts to Judaism and can no longer eat pork..."
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