"I SAID NEE-HA!"
The Late Night With Conan O'Brien Newsletter #10/25-042
Helloooo everyone!! Well, Conan fans another hiatus down, fresh lemony smelling shows on their way to you this week. But how many hiatuses has that been this year? Ya gotta wonder, and I'm way too lazy to go back and check, seems like there's been loads though. And how many more to go? And what are they doing in their time off? Hopefully filming some funny and scrummy comedy bits.
Oh, if you didn't know (and you should by now) it's Andy's birthday on Wednesday... (No wishing for boulders this year please!!) Last week he was doing one of his infamous speeches at American University in Washington D.C. Thanks to Brandon, and Audrey this week, we get a special report from the event!!
Would you like to become a contributor to the newsletter? I'm looking for more people who can write articles/features on a regular or semi-regular basis. If you're interested, have ideas, or just feel like screaming at me, email me and let me know asap!!
Have a great week everyone and let's get it awn!
Late Night Linzi
Editor
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CONTENTS -
LATE NIGHT NEWS
ANDY AT AMERICAN UNIVERSITY By Brandon Soderberg
LATE NIGHT POLL
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
THE COB SOURCE With Dez
UPCOMING GUESTS - October 26 - November 6 1998
THIS TIME LAST YEAR...
FYI
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LATE NIGHT NEWS
NBC.COM/CONAN - Chris Bodkin, the new webdude at the Conan site has informed us that the "Ask Conan" section which was set up so that fans would be able to put their questions to the man himself, has been taken down due to Conan being too krunking busy to answer them on a regular basis.
New to Conan's official site, details of how you can enter the 15th Annual College Band Search. And coming soon the "15th Annual College Band Search Web site" which will feature video/sound clips of past winners such as Domo who won last year, cool web games and more.... Check out www.nbc.com/conan for further information!!
DEER AVENGER is the new CD-Rom game for the PC written and voiced by Brian McCann. "Bucking the trend" as they say, of Deer hunter type games, "Deer Avenger" puts the deer, voiced by Brian McCann, on the offensive giving hunters a taste of their own medicine.
Using specialized deer-weapons such as slingshots (with hard or soft deer pellets) or a bazooka, the hunter becomes the hunted as players track them down in one of three deer-friendly states (West Virginia, Connecticut or Minnesota), lure them out into the open and blow them away. Aiding you to lure those illusive hunters out into the open are more than a dozen genuine hunter calls, such as "Free Beer Here" and "Help, I'm naked and I have a pizza". Deer farts (get up-wind and smoke 'em out). And to help you find them, binoculars and scopes (just like the ones real hunters use on deer). The game will be available through major retailers from mid-November. There's a website coming soon to promote the game, interested parties check out www.ssinteractive.com (Thanks to Patrick Smith and Peter Binazeski)
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ANDY AT AMERICAN UNIVERSITY
Report By Brandon Soderberg
With thanks to Audrey & Sandover
Edited by Robin Banks
Late Night's very own Andy Richter spoke at American University, Washington D.C. on Saturday, October 17th; here's my adventure....
I got to Bender Arena and sat down at about 7:28, the show started at 8. I got a seat about 25 feet from the stage. Now I had to wait, mostly college students here, and their parents (it was family weekend). It was weird, the crowd was full of me skinny, nerdy, badly dressed people...While everything was being set-up they were playing what sounded like the film scores for Lenny, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, Beach Blanket Bingo and the Elvis movie where he was a racecar driver...
7:36,the spaz in front of me is talking about how great "As Good as it Gets" was, but he seemed to misquote every line he said to his friends. And come on! "As Good as it Gets"?! What a joke, the last half-hour of that movie was ridiculous.....
7:45,the people behind me are talking about this woman who has blonde hair and blonde eye-brows..
"She's weird"
"I think she's an albino"
"Her eyes are red too!!"
Oh my, people are stupid...later in the show these same people complained about how boring the speech was...
8:10,the show started. I think it was because so many people were just coming in. Andy walked out, and said "hi" and told us about what he would speak about. Then he showed some clips from the show. The time he was an answer on Jeopardy and no one knew it, Andi, Andy as the guy who was struck by John Bobbit's penis, Andy and Conan on Rolanda, a few others, and Andy as "Jesus Christ and Hari Krishna rolled into one"
Andy returned on stage to applause and began his speech. Telling us about where he was born, his parents, and growing up in a small town, which from what he said, he didn't enjoy. This was mentioned when he spoke about going to the University of Illinois "because it was big". There he studied Journalism and left after two years "I didn't like it, I didn't want to report on grain elevator fires". He then attended Film School, but left that as well.
After leaving, he began working on movie sets and doing some improv. Improv he spoke of fondly, "it was like the U.N of smart-asses". Eventually, he was only doing improv, however he was also making no money "I learned to know my landlord's knock intimately" and lived on a diet of "a burrito the size of an infant". He moved back home.
While at home, he was approached by a friend to do a thing called "The Real Life Brady Bunch". After seeing it, "I never laughed harder". He joined the cast playing Mike Brady "with an 18 dollar wig and my striking resemblance to Robert Reed"
Next, he explained how the Brady Bunch "got big, well.. in our standards". They took it to New York, where he got an agent. "I go into her office...and she goes right on the phone. This kid's fantastic, he's great. She never even saw me perform.." Andy said, "that's when I realized, show-business is horse-shit"
The Brady Bunch then went to L.A for 8 months. During this run of it, he met his wife Sarah Thyre. Once the Brady Bunch was over, he was back where he was before. "I hadn't been home in almost two years. I went back home".
Back at home, he got a call about coming to L.A to do a small part in a movie called "Cabin Boy". Andy spoke about being frustrated that he had a job, but had no money to get back to L.A. He told us about how his uncle had backed into his mom's car and she gave him the insurance money to fly to L.A.
The clip from "Cabin Boy" was shown where Andy's character gives Chris Elliot a tour of the boat. After Cabin Boy he said "I thought I had this giant egg.. I'd be a big actor, but my egg turned out to be a hummingbird egg". Now he was faced with having to get a real job. "I was afraid I'd be working at the movie theatre when Cabin Boy premiered". Luckily this didn't occur, a friend he had met named Robert Smigel approached him about writing for "Late Night with Conan O'Brien". I was surprised by the little applause Smigel got before Andy said he was the original head writer and "Clinton lips and the for me to poop on dog".
"I knew about as much about the show as you did" but it was a chance to write comedy, so Andy jumped at the spot to write for the show. Andy then spoke about the show's early problems, critics telling Andy "he had to go". He gave credit, or as Chuck D from Public Enemy would say "much love", to Robert Smigel for helping him out on the show and making sure NBC didn't get rid of him. The show being ignored by NBC, was also mentioned. Even on the 3rd anniversary Warren Littlefield approached him and told him how many times they were almost cancelled, "On your wedding anniversary, you don't tell your wife how many times you thought about divorcing her".
While he was on the subject of NBC being evil, he mentioned the ER fiasco. "NBC has a GE mentality on running businesses. You made 270 million last year, this year only 265 million? Something must be wrong". I'm assuming most of you know the ER problem. How NBC had a deal with Paramount where they would pay 3 million per episode, but as Andy said, "someone forgot to renew the contract" therefore, Paramount upped the price to 13 million per episode. Andy explained how NBC paying so much for this show affected everyone at NBC "people are now getting fired that shouldn't be, while the people who really screwed up get to keep their job...that sort of bugs me".
He then spoke some more about the show, Conan, Lorne Michaels, NBC the staff of the show and then he took questions. Since someone else is covering Q and A I'll give a small run down of it...
The guest that smelled the worst was "Micheal Stipe.. woooooooo!!" and Yaphet Koto, star of such Blaxploitation classics as Across 110th street (which features the greatest theme song ever...) and Rudy Ray Moore's Monkey Hustle. Tommy Blacha (the gaseous wiener) created Pimpbot. Dino Stamatopolous and Brent Forrester (of The Simpsons) came up with "Clutch Cargo" or "Synchro Vox". Is it pathetic when I recognize those names and name other shows they've written for?...
Interesting fact about Clutch Cargo (the original show) was that the guy who created it, had a son who was deaf. The show was a cartoon made so that the children could read their lips. "Now we use it to humiliate the President". Two people asked Andy to marry them...
A female "well we'd have to move to Utah or something"
And a male "well we couldn't even move to Utah!"
alt.fan.conan-obrien's Audrey asked a question about Andy doing voiceovers. Andy said he does the Hershey's Chocolate voiceovers and KFC commercials "before they got Randy Quaid to do the Colonel". Has anyone seen those commercials? "go colonel, go colonel" that commercial is a slap in the face to greasy unhealthy chicken and the colonel himself....where was I? Oh...Andy's favorite Simpson episode was The Sugar One ("first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women") and some tool tried to plug his radio show. "is this a plug? You really are in radio aren't you?". He did an impression of Alec Guinness in The Bridge on the River Kwai. Andy said he really liked the band The Frogs. When we were leaving they played They Might Be Giants "Ana NG" from what Andy said about his musical tastes, he probably chose it. Lastly, someone who looked like the love child of Newt Gingrich and Bill Cullen said "you use a lot of surreal absurdist theatre in your work". Andy responded with "If you mean stupid stuff, yeah I like stupid stuff".
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LATE NIGHT POLL
THIS WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: This should probably be filed somewhere among the "frequently asked questions", but what the hell let's do it anyway... What do you think will happen to the "In The Year 2000 Skit" in the year 2000?
Send your response before Thursday to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com
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THE LAST POLL QUESTION: Who would be the most interesting character to share a room with?
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Mary -
I think the most interesting character to be stuck in a room would be with the Shirtless Moron. He seems like he would have a lot to say and seems like a very interesting character in general.
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Oscar -
Well I really don't know which character would be the most fun ...hmmm I guess the one that wouldn't try to molest me!!!!!
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Ignacio -
I would share my room with the 7 foot groucho, but he's not around because of the execs at NBC. I would tell him about my day, and then he would say "Thats the craziest thing I ever hoid!
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Sarah -
The character who would be the most fun to share a room with would have to be... Stacy- definitely! We're so incredibly alike that we could talk for hours upon hours. Then again, it may not work out so great. I mean, we'd probably just end up in a fistfight on the floor as she declares at the top of her lungs, "I'm going to rock your body you whore!"
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Katie-
I think that the foam Conan and Andy would be the most fun. They look so warm and cozy :o). But seriously, they just look so cute! (And being giant- size is ALWAYS a plus when it comes to the Late Night gang Ü)
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Sarah-
I would have most fun with Conan himself.
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Jessica -
I would love to share a room with The Insulting Dog. He has to be the funniest of all the Conan characters. Plus, it would be great to just make fun of each other back and forth all the daylong.
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Bryan -
I think the most fun character to share a room with would be Foam Rubber Andy. He's just such a good guy, you'd never have any problems with him. We'd just hang out on the couch, have a pizza and watch TV all day.
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Letty -
Isn't the answer obvious? I'd roommate with Stacey! One, I know I'd never miss late night. Two, she would probably have some lovely Conan memorabilia (like strands of leg hair, a copy of Conan's house key before he changed the locks, things like that). Three, for god sakes, she's Andy's brother! Why wouldn't I want to room with her. We could even swap Late night postcards.
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Miss_Krunk -
This is soooo hard. I know this guy doesn't come on a lot...actually I think he might've been killed in one of those character races or something, but the big headed Conan character seems like he would be fun to share a room, with. Everyday, I'd probably squeeze his head (don't take that last sentence with a dirty mind, people!).
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Chantale -
OOOhhh.... this is a toughie. Let's see, Pimpbot? No, he'd either be cutting me or trying to turn me out. The gaseous weiner? No for the obvious reasons ;). The masturbating bear? I think it may get kinda gross after a while. Triumph the insult dog? My self esteem doesn't need that kind of abuse. The robot on a toilet? Harmless enough, but hardly very exciting. Jeremy and Ira the 2 aliens at the bottom of the screen would just scare the hell out of me, and I think I'D end up shooting the guy with bullet proof legs. So can't I just share a room with Conan or Andy? Mmmm...
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Mollie -
Triumph, the insult comic dog...because he could be there for Me to POOP ON. What would be more fun than that?
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THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
A few weeks ago our lovely and talented editor posed the musical question "What kind of fate should befall the guests who dis Andy on the show?" Completely out of character, I tried to stay above the fray and not beseech malfortune on the snubbers. To be honest, whenever it happened, I kind of chuckled and thought to myself that they just didn't get it. Andy is maybe not the co-host but certainly a major force on the show. He should be acknowledged--if only out of kindness.
So, like I said, I never really gave it much thought until Thursday night's repeat of the totally unremarkable edition featuring everyone's favorite Mexican export, Salma Hayek. I think what bothered me ("irked" might be a better word) was the way she just blew right past Andy on a bee-line to Conan. Usually, if a guest is going to snub Andy they do one of two things. The first is the more popular and socially-accepted of the two, the shy smile. How many people have walked onstage with no intention of shaking the sidekick's hand only to pause and offer a hello or a smile? Dozens--maybe hundreds. The second is the Salma Hayek Special--blow on by and never say anything.
Why do guest do this? Well, the best guess just might be the obvious: nerves. Maybe after a while those butterflies you imagine must just go away never do. Maybe they are just so focused on getting to that chair without tripping over the stage that these offenders simply don't notice the sidekick. Maybe they don't think Andy lends much to the show. Maybe their agents give them bad advice. Who knows what motivates the average late night talk show guest? Who really cares? We do. Show a common courtesy. Stop and shake Andy's hand.
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THE COB SOURCE With Dez
Hi, my name is Dez. I'm a HUGE fan of LNwCOB and I've watched the show almost religiously since the very beginning. I think I know everything there is to know about the show and I'd like to help answer any questions you might have about it. If I can't answer your question myself, I'll do my best to find you someone who can. You'll see...
So, if you've got an unanswered question about Conan O'Brien or Late Night write to me at: cobsource@yahoo.com
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neehaitsconan -
Hey you know that drinking game played when watching the show? Well they should add to it; drink every time Conan mentions his girlfriend. Have you noticed how often he mentions her on the show? I mean no need to mention the obvious we know she's there! Anything I can do for the blues whenever he mentions her? Just curious.
DEZ SEZ: You poor dear girl. And all of you who feel pain whenever he mentions that woman's name (I'll spare you by not saying it out loud). I seem to get a lot of letters about her. But what can we do, she's Conan's girlfriend? She's not just gonna disappear because you want her to. I think you should be happy for them, but that's just me. Just pretend that he's talking about you whenever he mentions "a girlfriend"... if it makes you happy.
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Carolyn -
I love Conan, his show is so damn funny. I try to write to him @nbc but it sux there and he never writes back. OK, this is my question: Does Conan see marriage in his future with Lynn? (the luckiest woman alive).
DEZ SEZ: Aaaaaaaahhhhh we're trying not to mention her name!! Does Conan see marriage in his future? Good question. Here's one for you: Does Conan have a crystal ball to look into and see the future? Write to him at: Late Night With Conan O'Brien, Suite 901W, 30 Rockefeller Plaza, New York, NY10112... be prepared for a wait though, and to the best of my knowledge he doesn't open his mail himself. Email his assistant at funnyontv@aol.com, be extremely nice to her and maybe she'll pass on your message to him!!
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Nakia -
I'm only 13, and as soon as I can, I'm hoping to watch a taping of the show. Do you know the age I'd have to be to watch a taping of the show?
DEZ SEZ: You're supposed to be 16 (the "Conan Age Of Consent") to attend a taping of the show. Plenty of people have gotten in though who were younger though, how do you think they got an audience the night Hanson were on? I recently witnessed some people being turned away for not having ID with them though. Pay someone older to go with you.
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Alexandra -
Everytime a guest comes out Conan does this little tap=tap=tap thingy on his desk. Is that for good luck? Is there a story behind this? Please explain or I'll go cone-razy!
DEZ SEZ: I don't think it's ritualistic or anything like that. I've certainly never heard it discussed before. It looks like a nervous habit he has that's carried over from his shaky beginning on the show. Maybe he's just tapping in time to the music of the MW7.
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Kyla -
I was just wondering, what ever happened to that Episode where Conan Dances!?!? They never reruned it, or did they?? I watched , and I never saw anything, whats the Deal?
DEZ SEZ: It hasn't been rerun yet. They did show a clip of it during the Fifth Anniversary Special though. Conan went out to NYC to learn different forms of dance, ballet, ballroom, and hip-hop. It was hilarious. One of the highlights was his baggy low-slung pants fell down on him while learning hip-hop.
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UPCOMING GUESTS - October 26 - November 6 1998
MONDAY, October 26 (Repeat of 7/22/98):
Jay Mohr,
Brandy,
BR-549
TUESDAY, October 27:
Christina Applegate,
Jeff Daniels,
Robert Schimmel
WEDNESDAY, October 28:
Sam Donaldson,
Bob Odenkirk,
Motley Crue
THURSDAY, October 29:
Ray Romano,
Reese Witherspoon,
Trey Parker
FRIDAY, October 30:
Martin Short,
Halloween expert Jimmy Blaylock,
Cheap Trick
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MONDAY, November 2 (Repeat of 11/12/97):
Matt Lauer,
Lisa Rinna,
James Ellroy
TUESDAY, November 3 (Repeat of 2/27/98):
David Schwimmer,
Kurt Loder,
Ed Byrne
WEDNESDAY, November 4:
David Spade,
Kiefer Sutherland,
Everlast
THURSDAY, November 5:
Adam Sandler,
Jonathan Taylor Thomas,
Frank Pellegrino
FRIDAY, November 6:
Fred Savage,
Mother Love,
Canibus
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FUTURE MUSO GUESTS:
R.E.M. (November 17)
Everclear (November 20)
Garth Brooks (November 24)
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THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
October 27 1997 was a Monday, so guess what? Repeat!! The show was rerunning one of my favorite episodes, the one where Conan and Andy take to the streets on the Good Humor Ice Cream truck. One of the funniest remotes ever. Later in the show we see a tape of jealous Max sabotaging an appearance by "Blues Traveler". Guests were actress Mira Sorvino who was on plugging her movie "Mimic", funnyguy Marc Maron, well, I think he's funny, but the audience never seems to get it and muso guests Cake Like.
On Tuesday, October 28 last year guests were John Leguizamo, Laura San Giacomo, and Scottish band Texas (one of my faves) sang "Say What You Want". Conan and Andy tried to Cheer Up Wall Street in their own unique style. And hey, it was Andy's birthday, so Conan granted him a wish, and suddenly a huge boulder hit him on the head. Did Andy wish for that?
It's time to look into the future Conan, on Wednesday, all the way to the year 2000... Later in the show Conan took a call from Keith Richards from another of those spinning hotel rooms. Guests were Martha Stewart (and painted friend) who showed Conan some cool Halloween party-food ideas, and tried to kill Conan by getting him to drink something with dry ice in it. Hilarious Irish comedian Jimeoin was next up bitching about Supermodels and getting a bargain. Arden Marine, actress from Spin City was the final guest. She recounted her time as an intern on Late Night, where she once saw Conan in his underpants and spent a lo-hot of time photocopying.
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FYI
"NEE-HA!" #42 is here with thanks to Micah Honees, Robin Banks, Dez, Brandon Soderberg, and Smith.
"NEE-HA!" is on the web at: http://www.angelfire.com/ny/lacob/conan.html
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