"I SAID NEE-HA!"
The Late Night With Conan O'Brien Newsletter #08/16-034
Hello all. Busy week here at "NEE-HA!" HQ. There was the HUGE amount of surfing I did at the new Conan site for a start. I can honestly say that I've spent more time at www.nbc.com/conan in the last week than I'd ever been at NBC's old Conan site in two and a half years as a surfer. It's now my new start page to save time. It's worth telling you all again that I think it's Conetastic!!
I must thank Brian McCann this week for taking some time out of his busy writing schedule to answer some questions from "NEE-HA!" readers for us. The whole thing was kind of big so it's in two parts. This week your questions, next week we'll have the Brian McCann A-Z thing.
Please, please, please continue writing to Entertainment Weekly. There are a million reasons to have Conan as a Cover Boy. Let's just say I think he deserves it after five years on our favorite show. If we don't write to them and let them know we want him on the cover, how are they ever going to know? Here's the address again: letters@ew.com
Have a Conetastic week everyone and let's get it awn!
Late Night Linzi
Editor
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CONTENTS -
NEW @NBC.COM/CONAN
BRIAN McCANN: QUESTIONS FROM "NEE-HA!" READERS
LATE NIGHT POLL
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
UPCOMING GUESTS - August 17 - 21 1998
THIS TIME LAST YEAR...
WEEK IN REVIEW By Stephanie
END QUOTE
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NEW @NBC.COM/CONAN
There's soooo much going on at the new Conan site these days that I'm thinking about just bringing a sleeping bag and some juice every time I visit just so I can stay there longer. New to the swanky NBC Conan site this week are new "If They Mated", new "Buried in the Back Pages" and new "Sketch Comedy". Next week watch out for more brand spankin' new "Public Service Announcements" and "Satellite TV" at The Site.
Coming soon in "Late Night Theatre" (spelled the classy way, apparently)... a series of Demographic Minutes... Thanks to John Knox.
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COMPETITION: WIN A KICK-BUTT DORM ROOM
NBC, in association with those groovy car people Honda, are offering you the chance to Win A Kick Butt Dorm Room. Prizes up for grabs are: a Big Screen TV, a Hi-Fi, a VCR, a Compact Refrigerator and a Microwave. Enough to make your dorm room one that Kicks Butt, as it were.
You must be over 18, a resident of the United States and you can enter online as many times as you like. Competition ends on September 15th.
Go to: http://www.nbc.com/conan
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VR-CONAN
In yet another move to become the Best Website Ever, or quite possibly the coolest of the cool, NBC have launched a VRML presentation of Studio 6A this week. *Breathe*
You need Cosmo Player and Real Player plug-ins for this to work for you. Once you're up and running it still takes some time to load up, but be patient coz it's well worth the wait. It's like having a brand new toy to play with.
Get Virtual at: http://www.nbc.com/3dstudios/
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BRIAN McCANN: PART ONE QUESTIONS FROM "NEE-HA!" READERS.
Kevin -
Every show has its own theme. The theme of Late Night in the Letterman days was that there's nothing really great about show business; when you write for today's Late Night, what's the theme that you try to keep constant to make everything seem like Conan's voice?
BRIAN McCANN: I'm not aware of a particular theme that guides us. Conan has a simple approach to his show, which is to put stuff on that's funny. We hate doing stuff on the show that's been done before. Unless, of course, it's one of our own original bits, then we'll do it repeatedly until there is absolutely no more juice to be squeezed from it. The twenty or so appearances by Pimpbot are a prime example of that. But the overall drive of the show is to put stuff on the air that is actually funny and has a joke to it. Letterman would do stuff that had no joke, and that was the joke. Our show will put on anything that we feel is a fresh, funny take that has never been done before.
Schmange -
Who cuts your hair?
BRIAN McCANN: Excellent question, Schmange. It's nice to see that someone out there can filer out all the crap and distraction and ask a question which cuts right to the core of a successful TV show. Her name is Anna, and she is a Russian immigrant working for a boutique called "Elan." Now if that doesn't shed a little light on why Late Night is so damn funny, I don't know what will.
Stacie, Louise, Tracy, Paula, Jerry -
Do you sign autographs? LOL I think there would be nothing better than to have a big picture of "Loser" hanging next to Conan and Andy on my wall!
BRIAN McCANN: I only sign autographs of the Loser for losers. And quite frankly, this question is from four ladies and an apparent super stud named Jerry. It is I who would be honored to have an autographed picture of Jerry next to Conan and Andy on my wall.
Robert -
Brian, I'm a whistler an am hoping to get an appearance on the show. I have sent a tape in but no response yet. Any tips on how to increase my chances?
BRIAN McCANN: Whistling was such an eighties thing. It's all fart noises made with your hands and armpits these days. If you focus your energies in this new direction, I'm sure we'll see you talking to Conan in no time.
Phishbowl -
Hey Brian, how do you keep your ideas fresh? Ya know is there something you do that helps you come up with new stuff?
BRIAN McCANN: It's quite simple, really. I remind myself that if I don't come up with new stuff, I'm out of a job. And miraculously, the ideas just start flowing.
Linzi -
If you could really live the life of one of the characters that you play which one would you be and why?
BRIAN McCANN: That's an easy one. The Robot on the Toilet. Here's a guy that never lets you down. He comes out, and in front of millions of fans still has the cool, calm confidence to perform am immensely intimate act without fail. To me, he is the most suave and appealing character, not only on Late Night, but in the history of television. Viva la Robot on the Toilet!
Robin -
What do you think of PimpBot 5000's cult following?
BRIAN McCANN: I think it's misplaced. I believe these fans are truly fans of Robot on the Toilet, the most suave and appealing character on all of television. I mean, sure, Pimpbot is hip and tough, but ask yourself one question - "have you ever seen him on the toilet?" The answer is "no." Only when you realize this, do you begin to understand that Pimpbot has a flaw. A very serious flaw. He is not as confident as he makes himself out to be. He has to carry a switchblade and make idle threats because he's compensating for the fact that when push comes to shove (no pun intended) he can't perform on command the way the Uber character, Robot on the Toilet, can.
Kevin -
Can you give me something funny/disturbing that I can use as a 1-3 sentence quote to end all my e-mail messages by?
BRIAN McCANN: I wish I could. Conan has asked me for the same thing, and to be frank, I've been drawing a blank. My job is in serious jeopardy if I don't make his answering machine funny real soon. So, I think it might be a bit unfair to make yours funny before I supply my boss with some telephone yuk-yuks. It would be especially embarrassing and job threatening if he were to call you, hear your machine and laugh hysterically at the witty comments I've supplied you. So, I hope you understand this is something I'd like to do for you but I just can't. Sorry.
Kevin -
What's the most important thing that people overlook when they set out for a career in comedy?
BRIAN McCANN: I think many people underestimate the amount of work required. The best comedians make it look simple and fun and most people get inspired by this and think, "Hey when I have a few beers, I'm as funny as this guy!" They then proceed to get up on stage and make a total ass out of themselves. At least, that's what I did. Only after having my ego totally torn out and ripped to shreds was I able to see that in order to present something funny, written or performed, you had to do a great deal of work.
Magdalena, Chanatle, KC -
What sign are you?
BRIAN McCANN: Leo. August 16, 1965
Magdalena -
If sleeping with Conan or Andy would get you promoted to head writer, would you do it? If you had to choose, which one of them would you sleep with and why?
BRIAN McCANN: If sleeping with either would get me a sandwich, I'd do it. Imagine the possibility of lying next to either one of them, man to man, the way God intended. Mmmmmm. Sweet delight. As for being Head Writer. No thanks. That's a much less creative and more managerial position, which doesn't appeal to me. I like having a little freedom in coming up with ideas and producing pieces, as opposed to the day in and day out responsibilities of making sure that idiots like myself are getting work done.
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LATE NIGHT POLL
THIS WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: What's your favorite character as played by Brian McCann? Party McNarty, Loser @, PimpBot 5000, Bullet Proof Legs...
Send your response before Thursday to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com
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LAST WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: Has watching Late Night changed your life? How?
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Robin -
Conan has stolen my innocence; I never knew who Kathie Lee Gifford or John Tesh were before I discovered Conan. I feel violated, and not in a good way, but the laughs make up for that.
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Smith -
Late Night changed my life, I actually failed a test because my VCR was on the fritz and I opted to stay up and watch the entire episode instead of going to sleep. I could barely keep my eyes open for the test.
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Ximena -
Late Night With Conan O'Brien has changed my life significantly. I think it's one of the best shows on TV with one of the funniest men alive. What could be better than that? In other words now that I have discovered the wonderful and vast world of Conan, I now live a complete and happy life.
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Ali -
Conan has changed my life in so many ways! Firstly, I am still in school and stress drives me mad, but Conan's show kind of makes me forget right before I go to bed so that I can sleep. Also, Conan's style of comedy is really wonderful, and now when I do get to school, I have tons of jokes to tell my friends! I even turned my friends on to Conan. If they ever sleep over at my house, we always watch the show and now we have tons of obscure Conan references to talk about at school. We greet each other by doing the Conan eyebrow thing. You know what I'm talking about...
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Miss_Krunk -
Watching Late Night has changed my life indeed, these are some ways...I say krunk instead of swears. I once dyed my hair red. I eat a bag of frozen skittles each night when I watch Conan (don't ask). I devote each weekday to making sure I'm in the mood for Conan. I stay in bed for the entire hour, never leaving the bed until Conan says Goodnight everybody and the credits finish rolling. I say krunk each time a commercial comes on. I make sure there is complete silence whenever a skit comes on. I can't get enough of Conan's laugh or smile...let's just say, I'm pretty obsessed, K
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Jessica -
Yes, watching Late Night has actually changed my life a lot, because of many reasons. First of all, I am more aware of current events and what is funny about them...if I didn't watch late night television, I wouldn't know what was going on around me. Second of all, I now know all the stories of the legendary talk show hosts before Conan, and found that I am really interested in the topic. All in all, if I hadn't stumbled upon Late Night one night, I'd know no comedy beyond Leno.... :::shudder::: Oh yeah, and I'm also a licensed insomniac now :-)
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PTD125 -
Conan is my favorite comedian, hands down. His show has brought me to a comedy I don't think I would find anywhere else, I love it soo much. Well, the Simpsons has some good comedy too, hehe. I've been watching Conan and the crew for a long time, and now my friend is telling me how my humor is a lot like Conan's now. Which I think is cool, he says I make faces like Conan does when we make movies. That's how he's changed my life I spose.
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Nos4a2 -
Before I discovered Late Night with Conan O'Brien, I was trapped watching lame Leno and lagging Letterman. Insomnia just wasn't the fun it's supposed to be if everything on late-night TV sucks. I usually headed online after Letterman wrapped for the evening, but one fateful night a month ago, a favorite celebrity of mine, Seth Green, appeared on Conan. I was hooked. I'd seen the show a few times before and found it funny, but now I relized it was the most hysterical show on TV. Late Night was the first TV program I'd ever seen that carried with it my same lame/oddball sense of humor. Now, I feel that maybe I'm not as lame as I think I am, which of course has given me more confidence. So, something to occupy the long hours of the night, tons of laughs, and Late Night has made me a stronger person. Hope that answers the question!:-)
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Amber -
Yep watching Late Night has changed my life. How? It has brought me and one of my now good friends together. I move around a lot so sometimes it's hard for me to make new friends. Until I moved to my current location I was the only one I knew of that liked Late Night....until I moved here where I met an awesome person who also has an obsession with the best show on earth. Together we have gone to see the show taped 3 times and even met members of the band, Kathy Griffen, Tom Brokaw (oh yeah) and Colin Quinn because of this fantabulous show. Not to mention that me and the person I have gone to see Conan share an unbreakable bond because of that show.
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THE BONE OF CONTENTION By Micah Honees
You know, there are many reasons to be glad that you're a Conan O'Brien fan. And you know what? Well, it's my turn to examine some of the more relevant reasons as to why we as a group are so much smarter than everyone else. I invite you to come along with me. You'll have fun.
Reason #1: Andy Richter. This is touched on all the time and proven to be more and more important every week. Andy has his cult of fans who just think every little thing he does is magic and I am one of them. If there's any dissenters out there, I need only bring up People Exhibit A, the whole Regis Philbin affair. Loyal readers know I think Old Reeg is pretty reprehensible and the way he picked on Andy that night while totally forgetting he began his "career" as a sidekick for Joey Bishop before settling into being Kathie Lee's personal Muppet. Regis pushed and pushed-even asking Andy "What is it you do?-and THE BEST THING EVER was when Andy snapped back and beat The Master (Conan's nickname, not mine) at his own game. By a show of hands how many actually kinda hoped Andy really pressed charges for battery when Regis hit him? Hmmm. Seems to be a lot of you out there.
Another reason to dog Andy is his self-depreciating attitude. He clearly comes off as someone who is happy to be there. As the Entertainment Weekly article proved, Andy understands and enjoys his role. He's comfortable working off of the more manic host. Andy is pepper to Conan's salt: sure, by themselves each of them are pretty darn good but together? Look out!
Reason #2: Conan is not Jay Leno. Let's all breathe a collective sigh. A lot of people I know wonder why I make fun of Leno or why I don't like him, etc. Well, since you're paying my salary, I will tell you. He just seems too robotic to me. The "Tonight Show"s I have watched seem really really stiff. His interviews are a lot better than they were when he started out and anyone who has read "The Late Shift" (or saw the movie) know why. The guy hid in a closet to eavesdrop on a meeting where the pros and cons of he and Lettermen were being discussed. Was that a sleazy trick? A little, but he should get credit for having the cajones to pull it off. He also deserves credit for trying to be better at his job. Maybe it is as simple as Leno is not my cup of tea. The audience for The Tonight Show is clearly not what Conan's target group is-for one thing, there's a lot more of them.
Another thing about Leno worth mentioning is his wrestling match a few weeks back. I feel somewhat uniquely qualified to comment on this seeing as I was once a wrestling journalist (is that an oxymoron?) and an uncommonly good fan of the Male Soap Opera. I saw the match and no, I sure as hell didn't pay for it. Jay should get a mad thumbs-up for his effort in the match. While he was certainly in his peer group with the other participants (Diamond Dallas Page, Hollywood Hulk Hogan, and the man he pinned, Eric Bischoff are all in their forties) he did do something other "celebrities" did not do in their big exhibitions: train. Jay was no way credible but tried hard; much as Karl Malone did the month before when he stepped in the ring with DDP against Hogan. And to the best of my knowledge, Jay was not drunk (or whatever!) like Dennis Rodman was in the same match. Rodman was so stinko he stumbled all over the ring. Jay did not.
Now does that mean I want to see Conan and Andy take part in professional wrestling? NO! In fact, I'd probably lose all respect and esteem I have for them. I tend to think Leno did it for three reasons: the wrestling audience is predominantly college-aged and he needs those viewers; he wanted to impress his biker buds (it was in Sturgis, SD); and he thought it would be fun. Pandering? Perhaps. Worthwhile? Maybe. I just wonder how many people in the legit mainstream media even cared that he was doing it.
Reason #3: Conan's interviews. A lot of times you almost forget you're watching TV. To me, that is the essence of good television. He's very at ease and likes to make his guests do well. He doesn't seem to mind when Andy chimes in something. Conan is a gracious host; Leno's getting himself over; and Letterman is, well, Letterman whether he's talking to a hot chick, a politico; or his mother. He's the ringleader...and the funniest man on TV without being smarmy like Tom Snyder. He's hilarious without taking potshots like Craig Kilborn. He's likeable, too. That still means a lot these days.
So, there you go. Feel free to object and throw fruit. I'll see you in seven days with a brand new FREAK OF THE WEEK, God willing.
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UPCOMING GUESTS - August 17 - 21 1998
The list of upcoming guests is a provisional list, subject to change:
Monday, August 17 (Repeat of 5/14/98):
Rosie O'Donnell,
Patrick Warburton,
Dave Attell.
Tuesday, August 18:
Don Rickles,
Traci Lords,
Emmylou Harris.
Wednesday, August 19:
Rufus Wainwright.
Thursday, August 20:
Vanessa Williams,
David Feldman.
Friday, August 21:
Colin Quinn.
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THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
In a repeat of the show from May 22, Monday 18th guests were Louie Anderson and Steve Irwin. There were celebrity graduation commencement addresses in a Clutch Cargo skit. Conan and Andy made some more suggestions as to what NY Knicks player John Starks could do with his middle finger during the off-season. The Ventriloquist Dummy Choir go to Budapest, Hungary to appear on a talk show there. They take a cardboard cut out of Yasmine Bleeth with them. At the end of the show, Conan shows a new 'tasteful' scenario for when Tori Spelling's 90210 character loses her virginity.
The *real* star of Dirty Dancing Jerry Orbach appeared alongside Christy Martin and Blues Traveller on Tuesday August 19. Larry Sanders Show sidekick Jeffrey Tambor helped out in the Late Night Lottery and Carl 'Oldy' Olsen revealed that he was a UPS scab.
On Wednesday August 20 the staff of Late Night apologized to each other in a skit appropriately titled "Late Night Apologies". An excerpt from shows available on audio cassette was read by John Davidson. Guests were Jay Mohr, Charles Dutton and comedian Dom Irrera.
On August 21 another perfect hour of entertainment. Guests were actress Mira Sorvino, comedian Marc Maron and muso group Cake Like. This was the show that Conan and Andy went out on the Good Humor Ice Cream Truck and gave away ice cream to everyone. Jealousy rears it's ugly head as Max admits to sabotaging a performance by Blues Traveller earlier on in the week.
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WEEK IN REVIEW By Stephanie
MONDAY, August 10 (Repeat of 4/24/98)
Isabella Rossellini
Jerry O'Connell
The Derailers
Satellite Channel Surfing
The fake David Copperfield
I found this show quite disturbing, with talk ranging from snails' sex lives (Isabella) to how hosting a late night talk show gets you chicks (Jerry O'Connell on hosting "Later"). Conan was, of course, horrified by all of this; staring dumbly at Isabella as she talked about--as Andy put it--"Snail Orgy's". Conan made sure to point out that NBC had spent more promoting her "Merlin" mini-series in a week then they had the show in five years.
Jerry O'Connell, fresh from hosting "Later" and getting models' phone numbers, could speak of nothing else. He was positively giddy about the whole thing. He commented on how Conan and Andy must have it made, which was immediately answered with a "I'm a married man," from Andy and Conan saying (like he's talking to a two year old) "I'm telling you, you're having a different experience; you keep saying this and you're starting to piss me off." The show was topped off with the 60's-esque rockabillyish Bakersfield sound band The Derailers, who are great, it is very understandable why Conan is a fan.
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TUESDAY, August 11:
Gary Sinise
LL Cool J
Jonathan Richman
Cheer up sex industry!
An explanation for why 7ft Groucho didn't work
While I am devoted to each and every episode of Late Night, I have my favorites. And this one is going down as one of my all-time faves. (That would be show 974) The show started out with an enthusiastic crowd, lots of cheering and screaming. The Conologue was strong, Conan doing his best Pavarotti impression, begging Posh Spice "Please-a, not-a my cookie!"
The desk bit was a "Cheer up!" segment, making the New York City sex industry feel a little better about getting shut down....well, I think we all feel a little better now. Then came the good stuff. Gary Sinise walks out in jeans, a T-shirt, and Hush Puppies with no socks. Now you know it's going to be good. I won't go into detail of the interview, except the term "Death Fart" was used. Twice. Gary and Conan managed to talk about anything *but* the movie "Snake Eyes".
Conan then explained why "7 ft Groucho" sucks.... complete with Venn diagrams and all. ("Statistically a seven foot man cannot do a good Groucho impression.")
Then came LL Cool J, in one of my all time favorite interviews. He and Conan gave off the impression of being friends, especially when "L" (as Conan calls him) walked out and they hugged instead of shaking hands. They proceeded to yak about hair, hats, meeting at the airport a few weeks ago, and Conan having to watch L "have fun," playing a computerized chess game.
The interview ended with a controversial handshake, which you had to see. L shook his hand, and Conan did what he was doing without missing a beat, and L goes "What are you doing?" Conan got defensive, and L made him do it about three more times, pretending to get mad "You say you ain't down with slang!" he accused him.....well, it's hard to put into writing. I have a feeling that LL is going to be back a lot, because they really do appear to be friends.
The show ended with a performance by old friend Jonathan Richman, singing a song from the soundtrack to "There's Something About Mary" (You can find another performance by him on "Live From 6A").
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WEDNESDAY, August 12:
Jimmy Buffett
Carla Gugino
Dwayne Kennedy
Conan's Autograph Book
Jeremy and Ira
Well, today held a major discovery.....Conan has a new puppy. But that's not all. He talks to it on the phone, because it has to stay in Connecticut because it doesn't have it's shots and Conan doesn't want it to get deadly diseases.....such a careful father he is..... Conan's gushing about his puppy was followed by Conan's Autograph Book, complete with every predictable but still hilarious jokes.....Bill Clinton's sig with a stain, Max is a pervert, Conan and Andy are gay, Leo DiCaprio stole Conan's girlfriend (right here, Conan brings up the puppy again), "Rocker" Tommy Lee and his long.....problem, Linda Tripp, and a very outdated George Michael joke....
Then came Jimmy Buffett, who is slightly ahead of my time but of course I know who he is. I like "Margaritaville"......and apparently his song "Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw" is an old family favorite nowadays.....
Then of course came the unstoppable Jeremy and Ira, aka The Aliens In the Corners Of The Screen. Poor Jeremy revealed that he used to have a drinking problem, and how this caused turmoil in his and Ira's friendship.....and of course they were there to see Jimmy Buffett.
The second guest was Carla Gugino, who is currently holding a supporting role in "Snake Eyes" (you may remember her from the Pauly Shore vehicle "Son-In-Law") She talked about being a model, Conan brought up the fact that when he lived in LA a bunch of models lived below him. (and once again, insert puppy here.) Comedian Dwayne Kennedy topped off the evening with a great routine, of course, I think all stand up is great.
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THURSDAY, August 13:
Ray Liotta
Richard Kin
The Upright Citizens Brigade
Staring Contest
Sad Spaghetti-O story
Good Old fashion Staring Contests are always fun.....this one even featured an appearance by Andy's wife, Sarah Thyre as......Andy's wife. The contest came really close this time, but Andy had to look away when the stain on Monica's dress showed little Andy's swimming around. So Conan is still the reigning champion, but I feel Andy will win some day.
Ray Liotta was terrific, giving stories about "The Rat Pack" movie, how he got a plastic horses head from Tina Sinatra, and of course peep shows. Apparently when Ray was first starting out on the soap operas the first time he got noticed was by dancers at a peep show. And of course they talked about dogs.....this is where Conan mentioned his is a golden retreiver....
This was followed by a heart breaking story about a can of Spaghetti-O's, which made Conan break down and Andy all choked up.....those poor Spaghetti-O's.
Richard Kind (most known from the show "Spin City") told a sweet story of how he proposed to his fiancée......and how she turned him down until about six months later....
Then of course came the much anticipated comedy group Upright Citizens Brigade, who "weren't there".....(the UCB features 4 people,who have been seen on Late Night a million times.) The topic of prejudice against astronauts was brought up.....lets just say it all ended in tragedy......and the gun was fired by Andy.
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FRIDAY, August 14:
Actress Anne Heche,
Mills Lane,
Musical guest Catatonia.
Clutch Cargo Clinton
"Neeeeeehaaa! I'm gonna tesi-FYYY!" Clinton yells, as Conan attempts to prep him for court on Monday. Clinton, of course, avoided actually answering the questions at all costs, until the end when he finally said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman..."
Anne Heche talked about her new movie, "Return To Paradise", how she gets killed twenty minutes into the new "Psycho". Then came Mills Lane.......the street. Conan suggested that his name sounded like a street, then his rude conscience told him he's an idiot. Then Andy lied and said he liked the joke, and *his* conscience attacked him....then poor Max tried to set things straight and got insulted by Conan and Andy's consciences......poor Max.
Then came the real Mills Lane, judge and boxing referee extrodinaire....not the nicest man in the world, and he was a little bad at watching his language, but still likeable.....for some reason the term "Titty pink" was used several times, by both Conan and Mills.
The show was topped off by Welsh rock group Catatonia, who I have never heard but I found quite impressive.....I like any band with a female singer though.
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END QUOTE
"I wouldn't piss on them even if they were on fire. I think I'd use a fire extinguisher...You can get performance anxiety and they'd just roast." - Andy on Lawyers
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"NEE-HA!" #34 is here with thanks to Micah Honees, Robin Banks, Audrey, Stephanie, John Knox, Marc Liepis and Brian McCann.
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