"I SAID NEE-HA!"
The Late Night With Conan O'Brien Newsletter #07/05-029
Hola everyone!! A very happy, albeit slightly belated July Fourth to all of our American subscribers. Hope it was truly Conetastic for you. So, how was your hiatus? All swell and swanky? Well, as you know by now, coz it's all I talk about, there's been mucho change in Europe and Asia for Conan's show and for us fans. All the major changes are explained in EURO TV UPDATE. One good thing that's come from it, which maybe the North Americans won't have on NBC, is that in Europe they're now showing Conan with hardly any commercials. Sounds veeeeery good to me.
I actually have a plan now. A plan to get over my man. And this is a good plan for something that I've come up with. I couldn't go Conan-Cold-Turkey (vegetarian after all), so now, I'm planning on at least watching the repeat shows (I have them all on tape) on a Monday, that's my one way to not feel so left out. Good eh? If you've got any better ideas, you know where to send them.
Have a Conetastic week everyone and let's get it awn!
Linzi -
Editor With Bullet Proof Legs
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CONTENTS
LA FIN By Linzi
THE COB SOURCE
LATE NIGHT POLL
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
LATE NIGHT TOP TEN By Stephanie
VIVA VIVINO!! By Darcy
WEBSITE REVIEW By Quinn
UPCOMING GUESTS - July 6 - 10 1998
EURO TV UPDATE
THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
WEEK IN REVIEW
END QUOTE
FYI
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LA FIN by Linzi
Late Night Addict & Resident of Scotland, no longer a Conan Zone.
Picture the scene: You taped Late Night last night. You've got the tape in the VCR set up and you're ready to rock 'n' roll whenever you feel like hitting 'play'. You sit down and get ready to watch the show. You grab the remote; press down on the play button and eagerly await the opening titles appearing the screen before you.
Seconds later there's still nothing. Nothing that looks remotely like Late Night With Conan O'Brien anyway. You fast-forward a few minutes into the tape and still... there's no Conan. Ten minutes into your tape and there's zilcho, zip, zero, feck all. Frantically you grab the nearest TV Guide or newspaper -- anything that has the TV listings for last night on it. You just want to know you've got the right time, the right place, the right day, the right channel. But there's nothing.
It's astonishingly gut wrenching. You wonder what you've missed so you turn to friends or the information super highway to try to find out. Sure, someone can probably tell you who the guests were and what happened. But you missed it. You'll never really_know_what_happened. You're outta the loop baby. That's sort of what it feels like for those of us in European countries who have lost the show this week. Take that empty feeling you have when you've missed the show or forgotten to tape it, multiply it by a hundred and you're still nowhere close, because you'll still get to see the next show even though you missed the last one.
There's no announcement from Joel--No big introduction--No "It's Late Night With Co-naaaaaan O'Briiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeennnn with Andy Richter and The Max Weinberg Seven too." No Joel, no band, no show, no nothing. You'll never hear that opening again. You never realized just how much you enjoyed it up until now. Up until you realized you'd never hear it again.
For a second you recall how excited you'd get whenever you heard the introduction. It always made you drop whatever you were doing and rush to see who the guests were and then since you were doing that, you'd just stick around a little longer for the start of the show. Just one joke, after all you're taping the show. But then the first 'Conologue' joke would make you laugh, so you'd stay for the next one... and in the end you'd watch the whole of the first segment. The point I'm attempting to make--and I'm sure many of you will agree with me here-- is that Late Night is addictive. As Conan himself once said to millions of us, "This is the best TV. It's not television, it's compelovision." Not an explanation, not an excuse, just the truth plain and simple.
In the beginning I was never exactly sure what attracted me to Late Night With Conan O'Brien. I didn't watch any other US shows at the time. In fact, I didn't watch any TV other than sports (groan). I don't know how I managed to fall for Late Night. I don't suppose it's all that important really. Like everyone else who has watched the show with any sort of regularity I just became a fan.
Late Night was first shown on NBC Europe one Saturday night in March 1995 and for the next eleven months it was only broadcast on Saturday nights. One show a week. But affection and demand for the show grew within Europe and so NBC Europe (then 'Superchannel') began to broadcast the show--one day later than it is broadcast in the United States--seven days a week at Midnight Central European Time.
With that in mind I'm telling you now--again--that change is possible. That with enough protest letters from the Conan faithful CNBC Europe may decide to change their program schedule to show all of Conan's shows. Sure, NBC need never admit to us, or to anyone that they allowed public opinion to influence their choice. But at least we will have endeavoured to return Conan to his rightful place in European TV.
Again I would like to ask everyone who watches 'Late Night'--no matter which country you watch in--to support those of us who have lost out in Republic of Ireland, UK, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, the Netherlands, Belgium, Hungary, Israel and several other countries. Please e-mail CNBC Europe and ask them to broadcast the show just as NBC do (one day later than their US air date) instead of just at weekends as they intend. Once more, I thank you all in advance for your support which I assure you, does not, and never will go unappreciated.
Please write to: feedback@cnbceurope.com
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THE COB SOURCE
Hi, my name is Dez. I'm a HUGE fan of LNWCOB and I've watched the show almost religiously since the very beginning. I'm going to be starting a new column right here in your weekly Conan 'zine "NEE-HA!" I think I know everything there is to know about the show and I'd like to help answer any questions you might have about it. If I can't answer your question myself, I'll do my best to find you someone who can. You'll see...
So if you've got an unanswered question about Conan O'Brien or Late Night write to me at: AgentLA@AOL.COM
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LATE NIGHT POLL
THIS WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: Who do you think has been the worst ever guest?
Send your response before Thursday to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com
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LAST WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: If you could be Conan, Andy or Max for a day, which one would you chose to be and why???
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From: Toadman
Conan because he's funny, and I'm short so I want to know what it's like to be tall.
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From: Nick
Of course I would be Conan for a day. He just rules and I would probably go streaking just to see it in the news. that would be fun!
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From: K.C.
Conan. I'd be Conan. Lemme just say this one thing, I'd spend a lotta timelooking in the mirror.
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From: Heather
I would definitely be Andy, because he can just sit there, pick his nose, and he doesn't have to pretend to like any of the guests. The cameras are rarely on him so really, who cares what he's doing!!! I've seen Late Night in N.Y. twice, and if you ever get to go, for those who haven't, watch Andy!!! He's beyond hilarious.
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From: Alicia
I'd switch w/ Andy, so I could hang out w/ Conan for the day.
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From: Nick L
I would be Conan so I could drink like an Irishman and not pass out.
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From: Yoda Hart
I would definitely be Conan because he gets chicks! He is babe-magnet!
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From: Felicia
I would be Andy. He always has the funniest lines, and gets to watch all the crazy and weird people when Conan and him have staring contests!!!!!
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From: Jessica
I would want to be Conan because it would be cool to see how he prepares for the show each day. And even though he says it doesn't happen often, I would want to see just how many fans stop him on the street when they recognize him.
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From: Karen, your goddess of odd
Hmm... gee, that's tough. But I guess I'd like to be Conan because I've always wanted to be tall.
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From: Kevin
I would be without a doubt...OLD OLDY OLSON. Lets face it. He is the only one who gets the chicks. HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
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THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
Every once in a while, all of the planets are in line and the whole thing falls into place.
That's what the staff of LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN must have thought after the taping of the show that was rerun on Wednesday night. This was one of those nights where you just don't give a flip for the guests when you read their names in the paper but you end up happy that you stayed up late or, at least in my case, actually learned how to program your VCR. Let's break it down a little in a language we all can understand.
First off, let's have a round of applause for the undefeated King of the SAT, Andy Richter!! This guy is amazing! He NEVER gets anything wrong! No wonder he goes on these college speaking tours. The guy is one learned individual. Or-and this is quite possible-he secretly replaces Conan's regular coffee with some of H. Keith Melton's magical spy Folger's Crystals. Think about it.
The first guest was Stone Cold John Malkovich. There is one reason that John always plays the creepy guy in his movies. It's because he is unusually creepy. I have it on good authority that he doesn't do a lot of TV interviews because he either has a creepy past or is kind of shy. Since he liked to tell the cool stories, let's say he has a creepy past. My particular favorite would have to be the ultra-freaky "I went home and got my father's Bowie knife". It had a certain tinge to it; a strange vibe. Very convincing, is the exact clinical term. Now it was obvious (or was it?) that he made it up but it sure was weird. It made me want to tell him to "back the f*** off me!" Honestly, Johnny Mac spoke in such a relaxed and barely audible monotone that you really had to think the guy was scarred for life. And that makes him a great actor! See how pain, suffering, and enduring your big brother's fart therapy can turn you-yes, YOU!!--into a hotshot Hollywood actor?
Oh. I almost forgot something. Academy Awards and People's Choice Awards be damned: John Malkovich is this week's FREAK OF THE WEEK, patent pending. But I am not afraid. That's why I use a fake name.
Next up was the Head Coach of the Orlando Breakers (thanks to my buddy, Tully, for the "Coach" facts), Hayden Fox- er, I mean, TV's Craig T. Nelson. Is it me or does he always remind you of that guy from "Poltergeist"? What's that you say? Same guy? Oh. My bad.
Jokes aside, I think the real question is: Did TV's Craig T. Nelson go to the TV's Courteney Cox's School of Narcoleptic Interviewing Skills? Weren't you just waiting for him to get to the point? And why didn't his butt-kicking wife come out and give him "What For" for not making sense?
Seriously, though. These are the interviews that prove just how skilled Our Boy Conan is in making people laugh. It still was entertaining; especially how Conan was able to steer TV's Coach into a nice depression-transference story about former co-star, Jerry Van Dyke. It was also cool how Conan asked him the question about being recognized as frequently as Monday night's repeat offender, George "NORM!" Wendt. My guess is that George can't go to a lot of places ol' Craig T. can. Let me put this one in the form of an SAT question:
"Cheers":
Great show:
"Coach"::
Just on a long time.
See how everything can be tied together so easily? Have a good week.
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LATE NIGHT TOP TEN By Stephanie
Top Ten Reasons PimpBot 5000 Has Not Been on LNWCOB in a long long time.
10. He's too busy appearing on the Jerry Springer show!
9. He got tired of old Dan at NBC and went to work at CBS.
8. He is now working as a White House intern.
7. One word: Viagra
6. He is now practising LAW
5. Lets just say, "New Club, Hooters".
4. Oldy = PimpBot in disguise!!!
3. Clinton Impersonator.
2. Joined Regis, to replace Kathy Lee Gifford.
And the Number 1 Reason PimpBot has not been on the Show for a Long, long time............
1. One word: PimpSpice!!!!!!
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VIVA VIVINO!! By Darcy
A song about our man Jimmy Vivino, written by Darcy, inspired by his new website.
(To be sung to Elvis Presley's VIVA LAS VEGAS)
Here comes Jimmy
Gonna' set our souls
Gonna' set our souls on fire!
Gotta' whole lotta' blues
They're blues from his heart
This place is smokin'
I "ain't no liar"!
There's 1,000 blues guitarists all out there
Sons & Daughters of Paramus say, "WHAT DO WE CARE?
THEY CAN'T COMPETE WITH JIMMY
THEY DON'T HAVE A PRAYER!"
SO VIVA VIVINO!!!!
VIVA VIVINO!!!!
VIVA, VIVA..............VIVINO!!!!!!!
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WEBSITE REVIEW By Quinn
There are a few Late Night characters that really develop cult status--usually the lowbrow ones. Pimpbot. The Masturbating Bear. And, of course, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. Now, I like Triumph, don't get me wrong. But do we really need a whole *page* about him?
Evidently so. "Triumph the Insult Comic Dog--The Only Page Good Enough to Poop On" has three *big* RealVideo clips--the commencement address clip is cute, but generally, if you've seen one Triumph appearance, you've seen 'em all. Not too much variety there. For further proof of this, look at the pictures section. There's Triumph...and there's Triumph with a poodle. Wow.
Finally, there's the sounds section, which I can see a use for. Here you can get 15 .wavs of the "for me to poop on" schtick and some various guest insults and bits of wisdom from Triumph. My advice is, skip over the rest of the page but take a listen to a few of these. They're funny. And one more thing--if you sign the guestbook, *please* think of something to write other than "This is a great page--for me to poop on!" Trust me, you're not the first to have thought of it.
In the spirit of fairness, here's what the page maintainer, Daniel, has to say: "Why I like Triumph? Can you dislike a comedy skit like that? -No!
I don't know why but there is something about him that appeal to my kind of humor. Maybe cause it's build on insult that still has charm in it. To start the page wasn't really all my idea, a former co-worker was involved in it. I started the site in late April and the first week I had like 12 visitors. Now two months later, it's about 180/week. At that time I had only a few wav files that I found on the net. The video files that I have now I made myself, them and some of the sound files. I got more pictures of him and just haven't had the time to put them up yet. The reason I continued the page was the great support I got for it, just read the guestbook and see. That and it's the only page I have found with Triumph, besides our hero must have some place in cyberspace to poop on!"
You can see it at: http://hem.passagen.se/bjli4007/triumph/triumph.htm
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UPCOMING GUESTS - July 6 - 10 1998
The list of upcoming guests is a provisional list, subject to change:
MONDAY, July 7 (Rerun of 3/12/98):
Fred Savage,
Ian Bagg,
Jeff Weinrich and dog Bill
TUESDAY, July 7:
Ben Stiller,
Kristen Johnston,
Jimmy Vaughn
WEDNESDAY, July 8:
Todd Barry,
Doris Kearns Goodwin
THURSDAY, July 9:
Lena Olin,
Rich Hall
FRIDAY, July 10:
Chris Rock,
Miss Manners a.k.a. Judith Martin,
Lucinda Williams
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EURO TV UPDATE
CONAN ON NBC EUROPE
Late Night is broadcast on NBC Europe at 22:45 - 23:30 hours CET. NBC have cut out almost all of the commercials and according to sources, they are editing the show more, and have cut out 'bumpers', and several of Conan's comments.
Pia tells us :"What has really changed is that there are Conan promos all day long. Conan making jokes, Conan eating ice-cream, Conan kissing a girl etc. They should have done this earlier to make people watch the show, don't you think? Most promos are about two minutes long!!! It's a bit too late, since people like you can't watch it anyway now.
CONAN ON CNBC EUROPE
Late Night is now broadcast on CBNC Europe on Saturday's and Sunday's at 21:00 hours (CET). No schedules are available at this time.
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THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
On Monday July 7 1997 - which was a repeat of a November 1996 show - guests were actress Sherry Stringfield who discussed her departure from ER, Kenny Rodgers and Michael Novacek. Celebrity Resumes was the desk skit and Conan, Andy and Max showed off their new Public Service Announcements.
On Tuesday July 8th Conan and Andy looked all the way into the future... all the way to the Year 2000. Conan promoted his campaign to have the movie "Dirty Dancing" re-released for it's 10th anniversary and Andy's obsessed little sister Stacy visited Conan. Guests were Dr. Ruth Westheimer, Kim Coles, music from Alison Krauss & Union Station.
On Wednesday July 9th Conan again promoted his campaign to have Dirty Dancing re-released. Conan and Andy played a progressive patterns game and Joel the announcer was depressed. Guests were Janeane Garofalo, Colin Quinn and Robert Earl Keen.
On Thursday the 10th Conan and Andy showed the pictures from their Fourth Of July Picnic. Conan showed the tape of his interview with Paul McCartney in London. Guests were actor Martin Short and Jill Sobule.
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WEEK IN REVIEW: June 29 - July 3 1998
MONDAY, June 29 (Repeat of 2/25/98):
Robert Duvall,
Bill Bellamy,
Sam Fullsome
Children's Drawings
"Legends In Black History: George Washington Carver"
TUESDAY, June 30 (Repeat of 2/27/98):
David Schwimmer
Kurt Loder
Ed Byrne
Channel Surfing
Sting Operation.
WEDNESDAY, July 1 (Repeat of 3/3/98):
John Malkovich
Craig T. Nelson
H. Keith Melton with spy memorabilia
SAT Analogies
THURSDAY, July 2 (Repeat of 3/19/98):
Julianna Marguiles
Lewis Black
Actual Items
Conan sings a spontaneous song about two audience members.
FRIDAY, July 3 (Repeat of 3/6/98):
Frederique
Boyd Matson
Music from Finley Quaye
Andy's Video Conference and
Bar Mitzvah
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END QUOTE
"You know, ladies and gentlemen, when you go that low it's gotta work or you're screwed!" -- COB
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FYI
HOW TO GET TICKETS FOR LATE NIGHT:
Write to:
NBC Tickets
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112
Or call:
(212) 664 - 3056/3057
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Want to contribute to "NEE-HA!"? Drop me an email and ask for the "MOST WANTED" list.
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"NEE-HA!" #29 is here with thanks to Micah Honees, Dez, Pia, Quinn and Stephanie.
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Comments & questions to moi: LACOB@AOL.COM
Poll Response to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com
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KEEP EUROPE CONETASTIC!!
http://www.angelfire.com/ny/latenightnews/frontpage.html
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