"I SAID NEE-HA!"
The Late Night With Conan O'Brien Newsletter #06/21-027
Helloooooo!! Sorry if this is a little later than usual. I was watching the game; you know how it is. Did you see the game by the way?? Good game eh?
So, it seems the long dreaded final week is upon us now. I've been soooo occupied with self-absorbed-pre-Conan-withdrawal-angst that it's even been hard to watch the show. Not that it actually stopped me. I don't know where to go with this one, other to say that I'm still really disappointed about NBC Europe and National Geographic. Still I do remain hopeful that somehow, perhaps poor ratings for Nat Geo or maybe other channels picking up the show, there will be a way to see it. Once again I would like to thank everyone who has supported the "KEEP EUROPE CONETASTIC" campaign. Hopefully we won't be without Conan for too long.
There's just FOUR *new* shows to go... I'll be watching and savoring every single second (twice). I just can't believe this is the last week!! I hope this is the BEST WEEK EVER in all the history of Late Night!! I've checked, and my sources inform me that, legally, it has to rock. Put your hands together people... and let us pray for some Triumph!!
Have a Conetastic week everyone and let's get it awn!
Linzi Gallacher
Editor/World Cup Correspondent
********************************************
CONTENTS
CONAN ON THE RADIO by Robin Banks
CONAN AND MW7 ON COMIC RELIEF by Lauders
LATE NIGHT POLL
THE "CONOLOGUE" JOKES by Abbie
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
UPCOMING GUESTS - June 22 - 26 1998
THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
WEEK IN REVIEW By Jean
WEBSITE REVIEW by Quinn
END QUOTE
FYI
********************************************
CONAN ON THE RADIO by Robin Banks
NBC announced last Friday at a radio industry conference that two-minute snippets of the Conologue from "Late Night" will be featured on a daily radio program on more than 200 radio stations across the United States. United States Radio Network will produce and syndicate the radio program, which is expected to begin airing on August 1, 1998.
John Miller from NBC Entertainment, said: "'Late Night's' popularity is at an all-time high and Conan's opening monologue is where it all begins. Replaying highlights from the monologue on the radio each day will reinforce Conan's popularity by wetting listeners' appetites for his comedy and will bring more viewers to the show each night.''
Nightly highlights from the Conologue will be fed via satellite to the stations that carry the program for broadcast the following day. "The Conologue Cuts" are to be sponsored by by ``Supercuts,'' the Minneapolis-based North American chain of hair styling salons. "We think Conan is the perfect fit for our customer base," said Patti Langworthy, Director of Advertising and Promotions for 'Supercuts'. "His shock of red hair is always well-styled and has become a signature for him. Conan and 'Supercuts' just make for an excellent association.''
********************************************
CONAN AND MW7 ON COMIC RELIEF by Lauders
Conan and The Max Weinberg Seven appeared on HBO's Comic Relief on Monday night. Max and the guys did a superb job as usual playing the intro music for the show and the music that introduces the guests--just as they do on Late Night. Conan was there, like every other well-known celebrity face, to plug the causes of Comic Relief and to get people to call in and make a donation ($30 or more and you get a free t-shirt).
A denim-clad Conan came out after around two hours of dull 'celebrity plugging' and IMHO his segment was hilarious and livened up the show. He sat down and started to sing a 'spontaneous' song about those free-if-you donate-30-bucks t-shirts. The song quickly veered off in the direction of 'Jethro Tull' type-music (as seen on a sort of tribute thing on Late Night before) and host Billy Crystal had to butt in and remind Conan of why he was there.
Conan apologized and started to sing the Comic Relief t-shirt song again. And again went into his wild rocky type stuff. All very reminiscent of the skit he does on the show with the audience members. It was cool to see that Conan didn't just do what every other celeb did to promote the cause. I may be slightly biased here, but I think his was the best and most entertaining "Buy The T-shirt Help The Cause" appearance on the show.
********************************************
LATE NIGHT POLL
THIS WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: What's the best remote ever???
Send your response before Thursday to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------
LAST WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: Where in the world is PimpBot 5000? He hasn't been seen by anyone for months and speculation is widespread as to where he has disappeared to. Do you know? Have you seen him recently? Where in the world is PimpBot 5000? It seems that I've managed to accidentally delete some of your messages. Sorry about that. Here's the replies that I got early on in the week.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: ToadMan
Heh heh....he's pimping for my English teacher. She was in a porno movie once.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: Smith
I just called Pimpbot on the special PB-Phone (1-800-MATTRES), and found out the following information:
- He's moved to Canada
- He's settled down with Celine Dion
- He's been listening to a lot of Gordon Lightfoot
- "He" will be a "She" after an upcoming operation
- He'll be back on the show when Conan agrees to pay airfare
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: Perdue
The PimpBot has just joined the Spice Girls as their manager. He also replaces Geri Spice for their American tour. When their careers as talented singers starts to go sour, they'll continue to work for him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kelly Y
He's going to be an upcoming guest on the Jerry Springer show. The show is entitled: "My PimpBot Won't Let Me Go".
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: RRob
Da' Pimpbot is feelin' fine and strawberry wine - acting as a top level, secret adviser on the Clinton PR team - leading the "Makin' da' deals before da' bitches squeals" initiative.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: Robin Banks
I can exclusively reveal that I saw PimpBot 5000 on Monday trying desperately to get tickets for the USA/Germany game in Paris. Unfortunately "Le Cops Francais" guessed what he was doing and he was escorted out of the stadium. PimpBot was undeterred by this though, and turned the patented pimp ray on the cops and made them into ho's. They'll be coming back to the United States to work for the PimpBot when the World Cup comes to a close my brutha.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
From: Jessica
"Where in the world is HUH! Pimpbot 5000?" Hmm.. doesn't work as well with his name. Anyway, where could he be... Houston, maybe? Only two people would recognize him there...three, counting Buffalo (If he's sober). Perhaps he met up with Buffalo and hired him. Who knows?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
And finally... after all the speculation, the truth about what has happened to the great PimpBot 5000. From: Risa
I go to the University of Pennsylvania and, when Conan spoke here in April, he actually addressed the issue when tons of fans started screaming "PimpBot!' during the Q&A period. This is HARDLY a direct quote of any kind, but from what I remember, he said that the premise of a 50's robot/ 70's pimp hybrid just sorta ran out of steam and that there were only so many times he could say such gems as "I will turn that bitch out." Conan said that he and the other writers just ran out of new and exciting things for the poor aluminium sex machine to do, so they just have been phasing him out.
********************************************
THE "CONOLOGUE" JOKES by Abbie
**Conan O'Brien on MONICA**
"Monica Lewinsky was spoted at a Washington Wizards basketball game recently, and she had great seats. Apparently, they were right under the Wizards' bench."
**Conan O'Brien on GUILIANI**
"Yesterday at the St. Patrick's Day Parade here in New York City, someone threw a pretzel at Mayor Guiliani. Apparently, he was furious--until someone else through mustard at him."
**Conan O'Brien on EL PRESIDENT**
"In a recent interview, Greg Norman said that Tiger Woods would be a better golfer if he didn't swing so hard. He also said that President Clinton would be a better president if he didn't swing so hard."
**Conan O'Brien on THE DEVIL**
"Yesterday in Connecticut, a former priest performed n exorcism on a ten-year-old boy. After the devil was successfully exorsized from the boy, she returned to co-hosting her show with Regis."
**Conan O'Brien on FATHER'S DAY**
"Fathers Day is this Sunday, which means that right now Michael Jackson's son is looking for a tie that will fit s turkey baster."
**Conan O'Brien on SAILOR'S UNIFORMS**
"After sixty years, the U.S. Navy has decided that the sailors bell-bottoms are out-dated and undignified, and have decided to get rid of them. The bad news is they're replacing them with hot pants."
**Conan O'Brien on CLINTON**
"Last night at the White House, President Clinton gave out a prestigious architecture award. This year's winner was an Italian architect that proposed mirrored ceilings for the Oval Office."
**Conan O'Brien on BEANIE BABIES**
"A New Jersey man was arrested for smuggling 1,800 fake Beanie Babies. The disturbing part is that authorities found the 1,800 Beanie Babies during a cavity search."
********************************************
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
If this column is read, and I have reason to believe that at least four people do read it, it is known (and maybe appreciated) for one thing: I get the chance to sit behind my fake name and poke fun at people who appear on Late Night. I get to sit in my too-hot apartment so far away from fame that I can enjoy a clear view. And I never have to 'fess up to anyone (except Linzi) for anything I write. It's a bee-ootiful thing. Think about it: I never have to admit when I'm wrong. Until today.
OK, let's go back and play a little word association game. If I were to say the name Charles Grodin to you, what would your answer be? (Hint: any other response than "Total Tool" would be immediately discounted.)
There. I said it. Charles Grodin is a total tool. I base this opinion on the fact that I used to watch his show. You see, I used to watch those reruns of Conan on CNBC. I also during that time tried to keep up on current events. I'm not proud of it; I was just trying to be well informed. Anyhoo, I would end up watching the Real Tool Time with Chuck and I found him to be a condescending, pompous idiot. Naturally, I kept watching. Each night-and this was during the OJ Thing-I would watch as Chuck and his rotating hairline and facial features browbeat some of the particulars (Kato, Faye Resnick, you know who I mean here) all in his attempt to convey this one universal "Well, duh!" truth: OJ bad. It made me sick. And I kept watching.
Which leads us to Wednesday's show. Chucky was booked and I figured that I had a money column ready to go. I'd do what I do best: make fun of his hair, his self-importance, and his general acting ability that consists mainly of the "smelling bad air" face. But, as I stated earlier, Chuck proved me wrong. The man clearly should be known as a talk-show guest legend. He simply can work it.
If this whole return to TV thing doesn't work out, I move that Late Night break down the budget to include a seminar taught by Charles Grodin called "How to get yourself over on a talk-show". He could teach it to Springer's guests and even some of Oprah's people. The guy is just entertaining, even though it kind of turns my stomach to admit it. The interplay and double-takes with Andy were excellent. The guy knows how to give-and-take with the best of them. And he leaves openings for Andy to get a few zingers in that make everyone's favorite sidekick look good. I mean, Andy got to plug "Cabin Boy" again. How cool was that?
Grodie also put Conan on his toes with the verbal barbs. It was classic. Grodin was able to make his point-that his show was canceled but that he was coming back-all while telling a story that made himself sympathetic to an audience who knows him only as the guy who's bed a Saint Bernard shit in. He flattered the host and verbally sparred-all in good fun-with Conan, who is always up to the task. And by the end of the segment, I have to admit that I liked him more and even thought how cool it would be for him to get his show on TV. There was the rebellious streak of Chuck, too. When he ripped CNBC for shutting him down, he did it in a way that got people on his side and made his point; all while heaping praise on Conan. Masterful. Charles Grodin pulled off everything Regis Philbin tried to do. He was funny, biting, contrite, and most importantly, in charge.
So there you go. I gave someone respect that I used to hold in like zero esteem. Shows how good he is at being a guest. And who knows? Maybe he wasn't just blowing smoke. Maybe he will end up on TV. Why do I think it'll be CNN?
********************************************
UPCOMING GUESTS - June 22 - 26 1998
The list of upcoming guests is a provisional list, subject to change:
MONDAY, June 22 (Re-run of 2-24-98):
Matthew Modine,
Roy Jones Jr.,
Patty Loveless
TUESDAY, June 23:
Clyde Peeling,
Caroline Rhea,
Brian Regan
WEDNESDAY, June 24:
Billy Bob Thornton,
Fuel
THURSDAY, June 25:
Connie Britton
FRIDAY, June 26:
Ray Romano,
Christina Ricci,
Girls Against Boys
********************************************
THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
Monday June 23 1997 was a repeat of a show first seen in April 1997 featuring actor Pauly Shore, Bruno Kirby, music from Steve Earle & the V Roys. If They Mated was the desk skit and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog appeared.
On Tuesday 24th, New Summer Characters were revealed and Conan advertises that Late Night now have shows available on audio cassette - an excerpt is read by Charles Durning. Guests were actress Julia Sweeney, comedian Dana Gould and George Plimpton.
On Wednesday guests were actor Nick Turturro, Leonite Moore and Tate Donovan. Clutch cargo showed Bill Clinton and the "Focus on America: The Tobacco Industry Settlement". Other New NBA Leagues were also shown.
Thursday guests were everyone's favorite local weatherman/friend of the show/freak of the week Al Roker, SNL's Will Ferrell, and muso group Del Amitri who performed "Roll To Me". Comedy bits were "Guests they'll never have back" and "Late Night Spirituals".
********************************************
WEEK IN REVIEW
MONDAY, June 15 (Rerun):
Kevin Bacon,
Andy Kindler,
The Bacon Brothers
TUESDAY, June 16:
Hank Azaria,
Patrick MacNee,
Shane McGowan and The Popes
Cheer Up Utah!!
Interactive Viewer Feedback Phonecalls
WEDNESDAY, June 17:
Charles Grodin,
Marc Maron,
Ebba Forsberg,
Children's Drawings
Conan sings a spontaneous song
THURSDAY, June 18:
Michael Rappaport,
Jonathan Katz,
Bran Ban 3000,
Andy At Space Camp,
Farewell Fingerman
FRIDAY, June 19:
Marilu Henner,
Greg Fitzsimmons,
David George Gordon,
Conan corrects a historical inaccuracy,
Running of the Characters,
Before Plastic Surgery,
Bud Light Lead In.
********************************************
WEBSITE REVIEW by Quinn
Conan often informs us that one of the perks of working at 30 Rock is the huge, powerful satellite that sits on the roof, making exotic channels from around the world available--to NBC employees, that is. But on occasion Conan will share this wonderful resource with us because that's just the kind of generous guy he is. Well, you can thank the holy deity of your choosing that someone has finally had the fortitude to combine some of these magnificent channels onto a web page so that you can dial them up whenever you want.
First up, there's the Potato Judge Network ("His word is law!") There are a series of screen grabs showing the stern judge in action, brief summaries of the cases, and even a minute-long .wav final so you can relive the tension any time you want.
Unfortunately, the other two channels, "Clothesline Channel" and "Sanford and Son Boxing Channel," are a little weaker, but you can explore them if you happen to have a lot of free time. They have the same format as the PJ channel, they're just not as funny. Or maybe that's just me. The idea of a vegetable being part of our judiciary system just really amuses me. Anyway, you can see it all at:
http://www.ilos.net/~hydukmc/channels/index.htm
********************************************
END QUOTE
"You'll go to any lengths to get a nude Lincoln on this show." - Andy Richter
********************************************
FYI
HOW TO GET AN AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF CONAN, ANDY, MAX OR WHOMEVER YOU'D LIKE:
Send a self-addressed 8 X 11 envelope to the following address. You do not need to include postage.
(Name Of Person)
C/O Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Suite 901W
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112
ATTN: PHOTO REQUESTS
------------------------------------------
"NEE-HA!" #27 is here with thanks to Micah Honees, Laurie, Robin Banks, Abbie, Quinn and Lauders.
------------------------------------------
Comments & questions to moi: LACOB@AOL.COM
Poll Response to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com