"I SAID NEE-HA!"
The Late Night With Conan O'Brien Newsletter #06/07-025
Hello everybuddy!! How was hiatus then? It's good to know that we're coming up to another fab week of fresh lemony smelling shows. Ughhh and this is the last month for us Europeans. We have TWELVE shows to go, not counting repeats. Yes, I have been counting them down. Sad, I know, that's not news to me, but what else am I supposed to be doing? C'est la vie!!
Again I want to mention Norwegian viewer Jon Berg who has set up a protest website for people to sign a letter of complaint that will go to NBC. I'd like to ask everyone to please, pretty please sign this letter and support us fans in Europe. The letter will be sent in a few days, please sign it. It doesn't matter what Country you live in, just please support the Conan fans of Europe and Asia who will lose out when National Geographic kicks in on July 1. If you have signed already, you don't have to do it twice, but everyone else please, please take the time to sign it for us. Go to: http://w1.2755.telia.com/~u275500384/conan.html
In the spirit of World Cup 1998--I'm full of it btw--which kicks off in Paris on Wednesday, I've dug up a quote from American Soccer favorite Alexi Lalas for our End Quote this week. He was interviewed on AOL last month and mentioned his appearance on Conan. I just wanted to say that I win!!! Someone (who should know me better) bet me that I'd never find a link between Conan and the World Cup that would be worth mentioning in here and I did!! Yesh!!
Have a great week everyone and let's get it awn!
"Linzi Gallacher"
Editor recently signed to the witness protection program
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CONTENTS:
BE A PART OF THE COB OFFICIAL FAN NETWORK
SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO CONAN!!
LATE NIGHT 5TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
FANNISH BEHAVIOR
IN THE YEAR 2000 by Jelli
LATE NIGHT POLL
THE "CONOLOGUE" JOKES by Robin Banks
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
UPCOMING GUESTS - June 8 - 12 1998
THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
KEEP EUROPE CONETASTIC!!
END QUOTE
FYI
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BE A PART OF THE COB OFFICIAL FAN NETWORK
Late Night With Conan O'Brien is putting together a fan network for the new official web site. So if you're the proud owner of a Conan O'Brien web page, they'd really like to hear from you.
Conan's Swell & Swanky Web Dude John "JK" Knox says: "As part of the fan network, you'll be briefed in advance of upcoming events on the website and on the show, and you'll get additional materials to help make your web site even better!" Sound good?
Send the URL of your Conan site to JK at: John.Knox@nbc.com
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SEND YOUR QUESTIONS TO CONAN!!
Late Night's new and improved website is due to be unveiled sometime later this month. One of the brand spankin' new features on the site will be a part that allows the fans to submit questions to Conan, which he will pick five or six to answer on a weekly basis.
John 'JK' Knox says that they'd like to hear from you, so if you've got something you'd like to ask Conan get writing and maybe your questions will be used for the launch of the new site!! Could this be any more exciting?
Put "Questions To Conan" in your subject line and send your question(s) to the Swell & Swanky JK: John.Knox@nbc.com
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LATE NIGHT 5TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL
**NBC were this week beginning to advertise their upcoming Fall 1998 Prime Time Specials. Of course, Late Night celebrates it's fifth anniversary this September, and this article about the LNWCOB 5th anniversary show came from the NBC website.**
When he made his debut in late night five years ago, no one in America had heard of Conan O'Brien. Today, his comedy talk show has become one of the hottest, hippest and funniest shows in all of television -- not to mention one of the most popular. Now, to celebrate his fifth anniversary on the air, Late Night with Conan O'Brien presents a special broadcast looking back on the show's comedy, musical and interview highlights.
The special will feature surprise guest stars as well as many of the sketches that have made the show so popular: "If They Mated"; "In The Year 2000"; "Emergency Guest"; "Actual Items" and of course, Conan's "Clutch Cargo"-style interviews, where the show literally puts words in the mouths of the world's most famous and infamous celebrities. The special will also feature highlights from some of the hundreds of musical guests that have made their U.S. network debuts on Late Night over the past five seasons, including Jewel, Green Day, and Sheryl Crow.
As always, sidekick Andy Richter will be on hand to keep the celebrating to a maximum, and the Max Weinberg 7 will keep the audience on its feet. It's five years worth of fun crammed into one night of excitement.
Production Company: NBC Studios in association with Broadway Video
Executive Producer: Lorne Michaels
Producer: Jeff Ross
Host: Conan O'Brien
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FANNISH BEHAVIOR
Some people go to see tapings of the show as often as possible, some people dye their hair red, or write Conan for an autographed picture. But Kenzie, from Iowa is such a big fan of Conan O'Brien that she's got a tattoo. I asked her what made her do it:
"I've actually been a Conan fan for a while-he is so smart and funny! It was kind of a joke (the tattoo)-some guys down the hall from me were talking about getting tattoos and I kept trying to talk them out of it because I think tattoos are kind of trashy. But then one night before I went to bed it just came to me-this picture of Conan-his little cartoon head-and I had to do it. So I got my tattoo before they got theirs and I told them it hurt really bad.
I have his CD and the exact tattoo that I got came from the CD. I think it's pretty funny. Every morning I wake up and look at it and I just laugh, for, like, 10 minutes. I can't believe I did it either. It's on the top of my foot. The guy who did the tattoo took about 20 pictures and said he was sending it into the show. So I don't know-maybe I'll go to New York sometime and show him. If I get a picture soon, I'll send it to you!"
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IN THE YEAR 2000 Transcribed by Jelli
CONAN
"The language of the cow has finally been deciphered. The word "MOO" means 'I dare you to slaughter and eat me."
ANDY
"The nation rejoices as Colin Powell finally agrees to accept the job of the nations 43rd... Batman."
CONAN
"The mafia will run out of animal nicknames with the death of Jimmy 'The Duck Billed Playtapus' Santolli."
ANDY
"Vegetarians will be horrified to learn that plants have thoughts and feelings. The main thing they think and feel? That vegetarians are incredibly annoying."
CONAN
"Starbucks makes franchise history by opening a Starbucks INSIDE an existing Starbucks."
ANDY
"President Pat Buchanan will build an electric fence around the United States and will refuse to give Mexicans back their Wiffle Balls."
CONAN
"Hootie and the Blowfish break up over creative differences and come back as Hootie and Garfunkle."
ANDY
"The birds and bees will finally get it on creating the most feared creature of all time... The bumblehawk."
CONAN
"After a nasty breakup, Siskel and Ebert fight it out in court to see who gets custody of their thumbs."
ANDY
"The United States Armed Forces will be comprised completely of robots, surprisingly this will not end the problem of Gays in the Military."
CONAN
"The public panics when Bernard Geotz and Jack Kavorkian join forces and start shooting anyone that looks sick..."
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LATE NIGHT POLL
THIS WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: Who has the funniest public service announcements Conan, Andy or Max?
Send your answer before Friday to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com
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THE LAST POLL QUESTION: What other TV show in the drama/comedy category would you like to see a Late Night crossover with?
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From: K.C.
If Late Night was mixed with another show, I think it would go best with NYPD Blue. I think Conan and Andy would make a great duo on that show. Conan+Andy+Cops+Guns+Bad guys = comedy (or at least that's what I think).
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From: Audrey
I'd like to see it X-ed over with the X-Files. To see something so creepy and something so humerous would...well, it'd be havoc-ridden! And that's what I like!
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From: Phishbowl
Late Night and cops. The men and woman who protect WHITE-TRASH TOWN, USA. Let Andy hang around for a night.
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From: Yodahart
I think the show that would like to see a crossover with is Buffy The Vampire Slayer. There is only one word that can describe why: Chicks.
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From: Robin
I'd really like to see the show done in a news format. With monologue jokes read out like serious headlines.
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From: Rachel
I think that a cross between ER and LNWCOB would be a hit. Imagine Dr Masturbating bear, and nurse Andy. Conan could be the sassy front desk girl, and Max could be the janitor!
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From: Lisa
I'd like to see a Late Night Crossover with The X-Files. Is Max Weinberg the head of another government conspiracy? The possibilities are endless!
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From: Cookie
Conan should definitely make a crossover in South Park. It would be real fun to watch the South Park kids talking to Conan.
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From: Michael
I would have to say that the best cross-over would have to be The X-Files or the Simpsons... they did a brief thing with Conan on there once, but I think he and Andy should be a couple of characters. As for the X-Files... they could play a couple of FBI agents... that would be great.
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From: Karen, your goddess of odd
X-Files all the way baby!! =) Maybe Mulder and Scully could investigate some disturbances on the Late Night set.... maybe Max is one of those alien hybrid clones... he's not the *real* Max... ah, I watch too much X-Files... =)
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From: Chantale
Heh, heh..., this is an interesting one! I think South Park, as funny as it is, is too naughty to be crossed over with Late Night. Buffy? Don't like her ;). But ER and The X-Files would be pretty danged funny. Conan and Scully both have red hair... twins separated at birth? And I think I would just about wet my pants if I ever saw an ER spoof on Conan. Can't you just picture it? "Andy!! I need 24 cc's of prozac STAT!" teehee.
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Other shows that rated a mention (but you never left your names or any comments) were:
Ally McBeal, Friends, Star Trek TNG, Jeopardy.
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THE "CONOLOGUE" JOKES by Robin Banks
Since this is the last time I'll be doing the "Conologue" for "NEE-HA!" (Abbie will be with you all from next week) I've compiled a list of my recent favorite jokes. Enjoy. - Robin B
**Conan O'Brien on THE BRAWL**
"There was a huge brawl at last night's Yankee-Orioles game. Five players were ejected and seven were invited to appear on the Jerry Springer Show."
**Conan O'Brien on CLINTON**
"Earlier today President Clinton held his first formal press conference of the year. You could tell it was formal, coz the President was wearing pants."
**Conan O'Brien on VIAGRA**
"Kmart and Walmart are having a low price war over the impotency drug Viagra. In fact some people are so excited about the low prices they no longer need the drug."
**Conan O'Brien on THE ARTIST FORMERLY KNOWN AS ODB**
"ODB has announced he's changing his name to Big Baby Jesus. When asked why he said, 'I suddenly realized the name Ol' dirty Bastard was offensive.'"
**Conan O'Brien on HACKERS**
"Yesterday a group of computer hackers told Congress that hackers were now capable of shutting down the internet, re-directing commercial flights and transferring millions of Wall Street dollars around the world. Which means the only thing hackers still aren't capable of doing is losing their virginity."
**Conan O'Brien on INCONVENIENCE**
"For the past two days millions of beepers have been out of service because a satellite broke down. All across the nation this has raised havoc for doctors, especially ones that sell crack."
**Conan O'Brien on THE POST OFFICE**
"The Post Office says they're raising the price of stamps by one cent because they need to upgrade their equipment. Apparently they're going from semi-automatics to Uzi's."
**Conan O'Brien on MICKEY DEE'S**
"The other day sixteen New York grade school students got sick after eating at McDonalds. A spokesman for McDonalds said, 'What can we say? Sometimes the surprise in the 'Happy Meal' is salmonella.'"
**Conan O'Brien on BARNEY**
"In Minnesota three men were arrested after being caught with 2-pounds of cocaine in a Barney doll. Afterwards the arresting officer said: 'Thank God we were able to get that Barney doll off the streets.'"
**Conan O'Brien on LOSS**
"The other day a New Jersey man lost part of his penis when he tried to have sex with a vacuum cleaner. Afterwards the man said: 'I don't know what I saw in the old bag anyway.'"
**Conan O'Brien on PUNISHMENT**
"As part of his punishment for committing a lewd act George Michael was sentenced to eighty hours community service. This could lead to more trouble though coz his community service is cleaning public restrooms."
**Conan O'Brien on CELEBS WITH HAIR**
"Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were spotted getting cosy in a hotel cocktail lounge. Nothing romantic happened. They just kept asking each other 'Does my hair look OK?'"
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THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
Fabio!
Fabio!
Say it with me one more time: Fabio!
You know we couldn't have a two week hiatus and NOT return with a general group discussion about the walking freakshow himself, Fabio.
Yes, Fabio, he of the "I Can't Believe it's Not Butter"-y man breasts that Conan has what can be best described as an unhealthy infatuation with. Yesh.
Every time I see Fabio, I am struck by a question. (Actually, there's more than one but for our purposes I'd rather let your collective minds wander on that one.) DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THIS GUY IS FROM?? I mean really? That accent is not exactly what you can describe as placeable--it doesn't sound like anything else I have ever heard. And those stories? Deserted Island my ass!! Isn't that little lovin' plan of his only a hop, skip, and a jump away from kidnapping? Why would any self-respecting woman want to go to a deserted island with Fabio?
The answer is: because he's Fabio. Idiot. He knows things that mere mortals like so many housewives can dream about. Because he's Fabio, King of the Cheesy Romance Book Covers.
Oh, yes, Fabio. The long, flowing locks and steroid-induced pectoral region. Who else could logically be chosen as the voice of Thor, Nordic superhero and all-around great guy? Thor and his mighty hammer swing
for the Forces of Good against the Forces of Evil every month in the comic books. Why not every week on television? We don't really have to understand what Thor is saying, do we? He's just swinging a hammer, after all. And after too much longer on "the juice", he won't be able to swing much else.
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UPCOMING GUESTS - June 8 - 12 1998
The list of upcoming guests is a provisional list, subject to change:
MONDAY, June 8 (repeat ):
Helen Hunt,
Dick Clark,
Brian Kiley
TUESDAY, June 9:
Louis CK
Save Ferris
WEDNESDAY, June 10:
Anne Heche,
Ed Byrne,
Bob McCoy
THURSDAY, June 11:
Sarah Jessica Parker
FRIDAY, June 12:
To Be Arranged
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THIS TIME LAST YEAR....
On Monday, June 9th in a repeat of a show from February last year rapper Ice-T, Dwight Yoakum and Jack Gallagher were guests. The "Closed Captioning" guy rips another not particularly interesting comedy piece from Conan and Andy. PimpBot 5000 puts in an appearance and the Siamese twins who are joined in a very unusual manner are surgically separated.
On Tuesday actress Farrah Fawcett was on promoting her 'pay-per-view' special and told Conan all about it. Also appearing were Arianna Huffington, and muso group Ben Folds Five. Celebrity Resumes was the comedy bit.
On Wednesday Marv Albert, Bill Walton and President Bill "NEE-HA!" Clinton appeared live via satellite. Conan listened to the opinions of viewers in "Instant Viewer Feedback" phone calls. Guests were Mike Vernon, Hunter S. Thompson, and Victoria Silvstedt.
And on Thursday June 12 1997 Conan, Andy and Max remembered their prom nights. Conan showed a secret videotape of Andy cheating on Conan with talk show host Charles Grodin. Guests were ER actress Gloria Reuben, comedian-slash-friend of the show Marc Maron and muso group Third Eye Blind who performed "Semi-Charmed life".
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KEEP EUROPE CONETASTIC!!
I ask EVERYONE no matter which country they live in to please support Conan's fans in Europe and Asia by protesting the decision to dump his show when NBC's merger with National Geographic comes into effect on July 1.
EMAIL NBC:
Stuart.Goldfarb@nbc.com
talkback@nbc.com
talkback@cnbcsuper.nbc.com
latenight@nbc.com
You can also write to Stuart Goldfarb via snail mail at:
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY10112
USA
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SEND TO NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC TV:
(Mark your email "For The Attention Of Tim Kelly")
ngt@nationalgeographic.com
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Norwegian Conan fan, and "NEE-HA!" subscriber Jon Berg has set up a page on his website for people to sign a letter of complaint that will go to NBC. I'd like to ask everyone to please, please, please sign this letter and support us fans in Europe. It won't take up a minute of your time to do this, and who knows, it might just help us out. Thanks in advance.
Go to: http://w1.2755.telia.com/~u275500384/conan.html
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END QUOTE
"What do you think??? Of course. He's a good guy and he treats his guests with respect and makes them comfortable. It was great." - Soccer star Alexi Lalas' response when asked if he had fun on LNWCOB
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FYI
HOW TO GET TICKETS FOR LATE NIGHT:
Write to:
NBC Tickets
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112
Or call:
(212) 664 - 3056/3057
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"NEE-HA!" #25 is here with thanks to Micah Honees, Kenzie, Robin Banks, Jelli, also thanks to John Knox.
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Comments & questions to moi: LACOB@AOL.COM
Poll Response to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com