"I SAID NEE-HA!"
The Unofficial Late Night With Conan O'Brien Newsletter #04/05/-017

Hello everyone!! Woo-hoo people, it's always greeeeat to get back to some new and sweet smelling shows after a week of hiatus enforced repeats, as our good buddy Andy would say it was "Musty TV." Last week, not television, it was compelovision. Am I sounding like I've overdosed ever so slightly on the old Conie-O's breakfast cereal? That's addiction for you.

I heard some fabulous news from an Australian reader this week. Kael told me that the Comedy Channel, which broadcasts Late Night in Australia, had decided to swap Conan's timeslot with Jay Leno's. Sounds good eh? Now it seems that they have changed their minds, even though the new not so late night Late Night time slot is still advertised on their website. Want to show some support for our Australian Conan viewers? Join us in registering our disapproval to them. Go to their website and fill out the Comedy Channel's "feedback form" DEMANDING that they live up to their promises!!!

The address is: http://www.thecomedychannel.com.au/

Onto some real good news... Mark Edwards of "DOMO" - the winners of the Late Night 12^th Annual College Band Search -- took some time out of his busy schedule to talk to us this week and tell us all about his experience at Late Night. I want to thank him bunches for that!!

WHAT TO WATCH DILEMMA??? Conan will appear on the "Late Late Show with Tom Snyder" on Wednesday, April 22, 1998. The same time as Late Night goes out on NBC. Set your VCR's guys.

Have the most conetastic week everyone and for now.... Let's get it awn!!

Linzi Gallacher
Lemony Fresh Editor

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CONTENTS
"NEE-HA!" INTERVIEW: MARK EDWARDS OF "DOMO"
DEAR DIZZA
LATE NIGHT POLL
THE 'CONOLOGUE' JOKES by Robin Banks
THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
UPCOMING GUESTS - April 6 - 10 1998
WEEK IN REVIEW - March 30 - April 3 1998
END QUOTE
FYI

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"NEE-HA!" INTERVIEW: MARK EDWARDS OF "DOMO"

A: There are four members in the band. Mark Edwards, lead singer and guitar player; Chris Maciolek, keyboards and backing vocals; Matt Freed, bass; and Mike Ingebritsen, drums. Surprisingly, we have only been together as a band since August '97. So, the Conan O' Brien show was our fourth gig ever! We are all from the U.S. Mark is originally from Pennsylvania and the other three are from Minnesota.

A: We are big fans of Conan's show. He is, by far, our favorite late night celeb. However, Chris and I (Mark) have to get up for work at 5:45 A.M. and Conan's show doesn't come on here until after 12 A.M. so I usually am sleeping by the time he comes on. I tape some of the shows but I don't have a lot of time to watch them.

A: Matt, the bass player, was watching the show one night and Conan said something about it--so we thought we would give it a try.

A: Matt suggested it and we were all for it.

A: Well, considering we never played a show in this band setup when we videotaped our song, we really didn't think much of it. I honestly forgot about the contest until we received word in late December that we were in the top six finalists.

A: We heard a few days before Christmas that we were in the top six. They sent us some paperwork and we had to fill it out. Then, on January 13th we found out we won. A person from the agency that was running the contest called Matt and told him. Matt called me at work and I told Chris (we work together). We were stunned. We took the rest of the day off of work, went and got Mike from his job and we went out and celebrated.

A: I grew up near NYC so I had been there a number of times. The other guys hadn't so it was a learning experience for them. It was very cool going to NYC to be on international television though!! I had never done that.

A: We all were a bit nervous earlier in the day. I wasn't too nervous to meet Conan or Andy but we all wanted to play the best we could in that situation. Conan was very cool. After we played our song for the first sound check, he came over and talked to us about all kinds of things. We are all big fans of "The Simpsons" so we talked about when he used to write for them. He told us that we sounded great and that we were "the best band that has been on the show in over a month." That was flattering coming from someone who sees a lot of good bands on his show. Everybody who worked there was great. Very nice.

A: Backstage was cool. We had our own dressing room and a nice food assortment/drink assortment--that type of thing. While the show was being taped, we would have to do various things, tune our instruments, get makeup on--stuff like that.

A: It was great. I would do it again in a second if they asked!! They treated us better than we ever thought they would.

A: The song is called "Motorboat, Accelerate" and it is the song we videotaped and sent out in the contest. We didn't have a choice of what song to play except in that initial videotape we did. But like I said before, we had only been together for about two months when we shot the video. "Motorboat" was one of the only songs we knew at that time. I wrote the song very close to the time we taped it. It is very poppy, almost cheesy but that is intentional!! The rest of our music has been compared to REM, Radiohead, The Verve, Blur, etc. . . .

A: I think we did a great job considering the number of people we had to play for!!

A: We have a received a great media response. MTV online and a bunch of TV and newspapers have shown us or written us up. We have had some record label interest so we are in the process of hopefully signing with a label and putting out an album.

A: It was something tangible that we can pull out the videotape and show people we were on international TV. Plus, it has immensely helped our career locally.

A: We have been playing a lot of shows in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. We have recorded a song and we are in the process of trying to find a record label.

A: I don't know--world domination!!!

A: "domo"--in latin means "to conquer" we'll see :)

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DEAR DIZZA

Dear Dizza is recognized and accepted as a somewhat skilled counsellor for Late Night Addiction. Her experience includes, but is not limited to, weeks of intense education and training in coping with the devastating but fun effects of Late Night Addiction, which she herself openly admits to having.

Her advice is sought out by thousands (well, at least sixteen people anyway, but potentially it's thousands) and she welcomes your pathetic cries for help as she "leads you down the Conaningly-crazed path to a happier-yet wackier future!"

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Dear Dizza,
I just found out that our local TV station is showing reruns of the old episodes of "The Simpsons" that Conan produced. Do I have to watch even though I don't really like the Simpsons?

From Wehleidig in Weil

Dear Wehleidig in Weil,
Of course you do!! And shame on you for even asking such a thing. As part of your punishment for asking this question, you have to copy these phrases 100,000 times on your chalkboard as Bart Simpson does:

1. My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
2. I will not prescribe medication.
3. Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
4. Tar is not a plaything.
5. I will finish what I sta

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Dear Dizza,
I have trouble expressing myself when it comes to explaining to people how much I love watching Late Night With Conan O'Brien. I love this show, but when I try to tell that to others I sound like an idiot. Can you help me express my feelings better, to show how much this show means to me?

Fan from Florida

Dear Fan from Florida,
Sure!! I'd be happy to. How about saying:

Watching Late Night has changed my life. I went from this,"Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh!" to this....."Ah- HAH!!! Ah-HAH!!!"

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Dear Dizza,
The Max Weinberg 7 ROCKS! How can we get them to do an album together?

Yours Truly,
The Weinberg WONDER BOY

Dear Weinberg WONDER BOY,
Funny you should write to me about this. We recently had one of our newest Late Night Addicts on the NBC Message Board on AOL describe a Symptom of Late Night Addiction that I think would help to answer your question.

He posted, "When you pass by Max's Sony Billboard you are mysteriously drawn to bowing down before it ritualistically. Then you feel his powerful stare and could swear he's following you with his eyes."

So, to answer your question about the Max Weinberg 7, keep bowing before Max's billboard and say a silent prayer. After all, he's the "Mighty Max", the all-powerful one. Then wait for that album!!

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** Dear Dizza would like to send out special thanks this week to Late Night Addict TFizz, for the collected writings of Bart Simpson from the chalkboard exercises during the opening credits. Also thanks go out to Late Night Addict Chris, for using his Symptom #193 from the Official List of Late Night Addiction Symptoms on AOL.

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LATE NIGHT POLL

THIS WEEKS POLL QUESTION:

What has been the your favorite Late Night comedy skit so far this year and why? Did you looooove The FBI Sting Operation skit, Triumph the Insult Comic dog, or was there something else on Late Night that really lit your ring?

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LAST WEEK'S POLL QUESTION: If you could order up a selection of shows like you would order up a pizza, for say, a hiatus week or something like that, which classic Late Night shows would you choose and why? Here are the replies:

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Monday: First Show Ever ( I saw it, but have forgotten it)

Tuesday: 1983 Time Travel Week Day

Wednesday: The Boat Show (Another one I saw, but have forgotten)

Thursday: The Kid-Audience Show

Friday: The Rob Schneider-Superman Show

-- Smith

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Monday: The first show ever

Tuesday: The one with the 3^rd Anniversary

Wednesday: The Fire Show

Thursday: The one with the final part of "Journey Past Midnight"

Friday: Time Travel Week: 80's night

-- Robin Banks

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First on my menu I would choose "Ice Cream Conan," where Conan and Andy drive an ice cream truck. Next, I would pick all the Desk Drive episodes, and then I would choose the episode with Ozzy Osbourne on the show, to appreciate Conan's fandom for Ozzy. And finally, for my dessert I would choose the first and classic Late Night episode. They are the funniest episodes I have seen, and I hope there will be others like them.

-- LNwCOBSOCS

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I would love to just see a non stop uninterrupted run of what I think the funniest comedy skits are. Triumph, PimpBot5K, The Gaseous Wiener, and all the remotes that Conan and Andy have ever done. Anyone remember "Conando"? - Jelli!

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I'd want to see Journey Past Midnight uninterrupted one more time.

-- Nick

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Monday: The Boat show

Tuesday: Louie Anderson/Famke Janssen

Wednesday: The show with the guy that lifted the giant bowl of chili

with the intern in it

Thursday: The first Rebecca Romaijn interview

Friday: The Kenny Rogers taste test show

I did not choose these because of the stars, but because of how Conan acted towards them. My favorite is probably the Kenny Rogers one!

-- Brooke

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I loved the "Ice Cream Men", "Conan in Houston", "The Kids Show", whenever Conan and Andy go out on the street, Conan sporting his complete silk suit, and whenever Conan sings.

-- K.C.

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It would have to be maybe the first shows w/ the loser at the beach and ski-lift getting attacked by the bear. You think maybe when he was younger he started a forest fire and this is smokey just following him around?! Cut to this last summer w/ that show w/ the loser on the waves and they showed a fin of a shark almost cutting through his board there. Then out of nowhere comes who else, not-so-Gentle Ben. and the Ballooning Loser episode.

"It's a Bear-On-Jet-Back!" or Pack, whatever. Why did he have so much room in his ski outfit? "You know why Conan?" "Why, loser?" "Because I got a-really small penis Conan." The "Sting" episode recently, which was great! etc.

-- Felixpest

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If I could put one episode on the air again, it would be a VERY old one, a classic one, in which Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa were on (Dweezil....sexy!!!). Ahmet did a Tom Jones thing, and then Slim Organbody came out and danced. Geez, I've been watching this show for a long time!

-- Amy

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THE 'CONOLOGUE' JOKES by Robin Banks

**Conan O'Brien on NO SURPRISES**
"Today is Al Gore's birthday. Apparently Gore's friends surprised him by jumping out from behind the furniture. Then he surprised them by reacting."

**Conan O'Brien on MISS AMERICA'S DUTIES**
"Earlier today a former Miss America admitted today that President Clinton once had consensual sex with her. Just in case she wasn't able to fulfil her duties, he also had sex with the runner up."

**Conan O'Brien on PAMMIE**
"Yesterday Pamela Anderson announced she wants to develop a more sophisticated image. So from now on her breasts are going to wear glasses."

**Conan O'Brien on TYSON**
"Mike Tyson was a referee at Wrestle Mania 14 and at the end of the night he gave the crowd 'the finger'. The weird part is it was Evander Holyfield's finger."

**Conan O'Brien on CLINTON**
"This afternoon an Arkansas judge threw out the Paula Jones case. After hearing about it President Clinton said, 'I haven't been this excited since I exposed myself to Paula Jones.'"

**Conan O'Brien on KATE MOSS**
"In a recent interview Kate Moss said that when she was dating Leonardo DiCaprio he would stand her up at restaurants. Which is really very odd coz what would Kate Moss be doing in a restaurant?"

**Conan O'Brien on KEVORKIAN**
"Earlier today police in Michigan returned a suicide machine that they had confiscated from Dr. Kevorkian. They gave it back to him and Kevorkian said, 'It's great to get it back coz for the past couple of weeks I had to use a Karaoke machine.'"

**Conan O'Brien on IMPOTENCE PILL **
"The first pill to treat impotence is expected to come out in a couple of weeks. To tell you more about it, the pill is six inches long and comes with a roll of tape."

**Conan O'Brien on BARBIE**
"A lot of parents groups are upset because there's a new 'Cool Shopping Barbie' and she comes with her own credit card. Apparently it also comes with a Chapter 11 Ken."

**Conan O'Brien on IMPOTENCE PILL II**
"There's a new impotency pill that's coming out. Apparently it's a amazing drug, it allows men to have sex if taken a half hour in advance. The problem is only women know a half hour in advance if men are going to have sex."

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THE BONE OF CONTENTION by Micah Honees
BMF World Heavyweight Champion

Please allow me to deviate from the usual, sordid details. There will be no FREAK OF THE WEEK this time. Instead I think it is more important to award diplomas to this week's graduating class from the COURTENEY COX NARCOLEPTIC SCHOOL OF BEING INTERVIEWED.

You'll remember previous winners: Courteney Cox and... well, other people. They all shared a common trait: each one of these people looked like they'd rather stuff-as Steve Martin once said-rabid weasels in their shorts than be interviewed on Late Night with Conan O'Brien. If memory serves, the lovely Ms. Cox exhibited the charm, wit, grace, and sleep walking techniques common to television golf announcers while promoting "Scream 2". Do you remember it? Outstanding stuff. Dynamic.

Anyhoo, this past Wednesday we had our largest graduating class ever: 3 whole guests. I dare say that anyone who maybe had suffered from a sleep disorder before watching this edition of Late Night-if Leno's nightly offering hadn't cured them forever-slept like babies come 1:37 AM. That's assuming they made it that far.

The first guest/graduate is film-maker and actor, Edward "Mister" Burns. I've seen two of his films and I will say this about his acting ability: he ain't bad. Mister Burns really has the regular guy down really well. It may be because he is always playing versions of himself, I'm not sure. Regular guys like Springsteen and beer. They like pretty girls. Regular guys drive cabs and have family squabbles. Regular guys fight with their brothers-who are regular guys themselves.

And what did we learn from this regular guy: not too much. He's got a movie; a new book; he threw out the first pitch at a Mets game; and that he's got a "pretty good arm" for pitching. See? Regular. Not outstanding, or groundbreaking, or funny, or smart, or interesting. Just regular. Like his beer. Mister Burns didn't embarrass himself at all. It was fine.

The next guest was the WBF World Heavyweight Boxing Champion, Lennox Lewis. I am a regular guy and regular guys tend to be fans of the "sweet science", but not me. I have watched about twelve boxing matches in my life; one or two of which Lewis has fought in. And after the interview with Conan-who tried like hell-I would not feel compelled to watch anything the guy ever did. Help us all if he gets into movies!

Yes, be-dreadlocked champion Lewis was just a fountain of information. For instance, Mike Tyson's wrestling turn was something Lennox Lewis wouldn't do. I got news: the guy carried the British flag to ringside once on a pay-per-view event for a wrestler called The British Bulldog. Selective memory, I suppose. Funny how the selective memory allowed him to move in-and-out between accents as well. A friend of mine who knows about boxing tells me that Lennox Lewis has been criticized in his native Britain for the accent-or lack thereof-and for also selectively forgetting that he was actually born and raised for the majority of his childhood in Canada.

It is hard to argue, however, with a guy who takes this kind of a stand against low blows in his sport. When asked about fighting Andrew Golota, a boxer with a penchant for doing whatever it takes to get disqualified, here is an official transcript of what The Peoples' Champion said:

"This (getting punked in the nads) is something that I would not like to have done to me."

Talk about avoiding controversy! The White House should be this good. And I know what you're thinking: what other hot topics does Lennox Lewis feel this strongly about?

"Gotta tell you, man. Fire's hot."

How about "There's nothing like a bagel in the morning!"?

Or "I'll paint any car for $99.95!!"?

Save it Lennox. An entire nation of regular guys are sleeping.

Last but definitely least is the unfortunate timing for comedian Dana Gould. I am a fan of his comedy but I don't care if the Pope is following these two, no one is going to grab attention at 1:25 in the morning. Informercials look really good then... and they probably had better lead-ins. Hopefully he will be back soon for another chance. Dana Gould is not a regular guy. He has definite freak tendencies and needs the right light to shine.

Until next week my friends. Hopefully we'll have week chock full o' freaks!

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UPCOMING GUESTS - APRIL 6 - 10 1998

The list of upcoming guests is a provisional list, subject to change:

MONDAY, Apr. 6 (repeat of 02/06/98):
John Goodman,
Dikembe Mutombo,
Steve Earle

TUESDAY, Apr. 7:
Matt LeBlanc
Christina Applegate
Semisonic

WEDNESDAY, Apr. 8:
Steven Weber
Steven Wright

THURSDAY, Apr. 9:
Yogi Berra

FRIDAY, Apr. 10:
Michael Moore,
Ben Harper

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WEEK IN REVIEW - March 30 - April 3 1998

MONDAY, Mar. 30 (Repeat of 2/4/98):
John Leguizamo,
Ed McMahon,
Victoria Williams
Songs for Celebs including, Dr. Ruth, Ozzy Osbourne, TV's Urkel and Quentin Tarrantino
Andy Richter's "World of The Unexplained Universe of The Unknown: The curse of Cocoon."

TUESDAY, Mar.31:
Ice-T
Ricky Jay
The Mavericks
In The Year 2000
Demonic Chair possesses an audience member and Andy

WEDNESDAY, Apr. 1:
Edward Burns
Lennox Lewis
Dana Gould
Celebrities Before Plastic Surgery
Public Service Announcements

THURSDAY, Apr. 2:
Steve Buscemi
Mimi Rogers
"The President In Crisis" Clutch Cargo Clinton
Conan, Andy, Max and Bobby read an excerpt from the "Seinfeld" season finale

FRIDAY, Apr. 3:
Al Franken
Veronica Webb
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
April Fools Day Flashback
Win A Date II.

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END QUOTE

"I said 'amazing' Andy backs me up with 'good'. Feel free to jump in with 'crappy' at any moment!" - COB

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FYI

HOW TO GET TICKETS FOR LATE NIGHT:

Write to:

NBC Tickets
30 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY 10112

Or call:

(212) 664 - 3056/3057

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Vote for your favorite trio, Conan, Andy and Max to be in a MILK ad.

Go to http://www.whymilk.com

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Want to contribute to "NEE-HA!"? Drop me an email and ask for the "MOST WANTED" list.

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"NEE-HA!" #17 is here with thanks to Laurie, Dizza, Micah Honees, Robin Banks and Mark Edwards.

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Comments & questions to me: LACOB@AOL.COM

Poll Response to: LateNightPoll@hotmail.com