Updated 11/25/00
Everything on this page is my own work. It is
copyrighted by me. I hope you enjoy these writings
from my soul. Some show where I come from, others show where I am today.
This first poem is considered by many to be my most powerful
piece. It's a little on the dark side, it's also my story. Those of you who
deal with Domestic Violence will recognize these
emotions and feelings. I've come a long way since I wrote
this piece.
WHO AM I
I have a little story
That now it's time to tell.
About a young woman
Who had found her hell.
She thought she'd found her heaven...
In being all grown up,
With freedom to make choices...
And free to drink this cup!
She had a dinner date,
So happily to attend.
This simple invitation
Had come from a friend.
She had just broken up...With the first love of her life.
She had been told...
Everything she wanted to hear...
And thought it was right.
She went along to dinner,
And dancing afterward.
All night, listening...
To compliments undisturbed.
A little much she did drink,
On this first night.
The first of many
That ended in fright.
She said no,
He had heard yes,
She was frightened,
Frightened to tell.
Who would believe her,
And understand her hell.
There was no "date rape"
Not in those years.
A woman always asked
And got what she deserved.
Just ask the police and lawyers
Of that time, not so long ago.
Just ask the women,
Who tried their stories to tell.
Made to feel guilty,
For being themselves,
Made to feel guilty for someone
Else's ugliness!
I fell prey to this thinking,
And for years I did not tell.
I married this man,
Out of fear,
I was a good girl,
What if I'm pregnant?
He'll keep his threat,
He'd tell all I was willing.
It would have killed my father,
To think his eighteen yr. old
Had thrown away her body,
Had thrown away her soul.
In anger and pain,
He would have taken
Matters in his own hands...
And wound up...
Locked up.
So how could I ever tell
How a young girl found
Her very own hell?
Who am I?
I'm your friend,
I'm your neighbor.
I'm the one you see in the mirror!
The one who is in hell!
I'm the old woman down the block,
I'm the young woman who bought stock.
I'm so full of fear,
Thinking no one wants to hear,
What is really deep inside,
That I've carefully tried to hide.
I wear a bright smile,
Just look at my face!
Look not at my body,
You won't find a trace.
I wear long sleeves,
And skirts or slacks.
I don't want you to see,
What my relationship lacks.
I don't want your caring.
I don't know how...
To accept genuine tenderness...
From those who see my distress!
I'm sick in my soul,
I'm sick in my mind.
I don't know how,
Anyone could be kind.
To the girl,
Who threw her life away,
Who didn't know,
Any other way.
© SMD 1998
ASHES
It's late in the evening and my world is asleep.
Peaceful, wonderful, dreamless sleep.
The night is a friend now...who would have thought...
That from utter chaos where battles were fought...
Would rise from the ashes
Such a beautiful sight,
As the peace that surrounds me
On this very night.
The ashes of battle that I knew had to come,
The ashes that must be...for me to be one.
One with self, not walking in fear.
One with my God, who keeps my head clear.
The battle with fear that I had won...
The battle for my soul that I had begun.
The battle that burned the fear that claimed...
For itself my soul to maim.
I never knew the strength I had indeed,
But with my God it was surely freed.
Freed to soar, with Him taking my hand,
Restoring strength to a soul He would softly command.
Returning to sanity all that was me,
To walk with sure dignity.
No longer afraid in the dark,
No fear to command and rip me apart.
No need to run anymore,
No need to stray or roar.
Roaring is the sound I'd make in my fear,
When frightened by whatever was near.
The place that is mine, comes from within...
What rose from those ashes the battle did win.
The battle for self, and all that it means...
The battle for peace, and sleep without dreams.
I share this with you, in hope that you will...
Head my words, and your dreams fulfill.
With God at your side,
Out of the ashes rescue your pride.
Pride in yourself and all you can be,
Overcomming the darkness in spiritual victory!© SMD 1998
DREAMS
I had within me a tiny box...
Where I stored hopes and dreams.
Hidden away from others,
Where I thought they'd be safe...
From prying, laughing eyes.
Oh!!! What a mistake I had made,
Keeping these treasures locked up.
They had no room to grow,
No chance to bloom.
Hidden away, even from me!
I took that box out in the sun,
And broke those chains one by one.
Setting those hopes and dreams free,
Letting them unite with me.
And one by one, they reached a goal,
Of making this person finally whole!
©SMD 1998
LITTLE PILL
I heard today your spirit was ill,
So I'm sending this little pill.
This little pill contains,
A faith in you that still remains.
So take this little pill I give,
And let the faith start to live,
Within yourself,
Not on a shelf.
Lean on this faith of mine,
Until your own starts to shine.
Together we can build,
A spirit that bodes no ill.
The only thing for you to do,
Is accept what I offer you.©SMD 1998
I BELIEVE
I believe in the power of a woman,
I have seen what she can do, can become!
I believe she has the power to become...
Whole...complete.
I believe this is possible...when...
She allows others who haave been there...
Love her until she...
Has faith in herself again.
We can help one another...
As no one else can.
We can lend strength until...
Another can grasp our hands...
Together with one purpose...
To help the newcommer stand.
For once we were new...
Once we were full of fear...
And once we learned how to stand...
On our own two feet...
In this lies our power...
Grabbing the hand of another...
Sharing our strength...
Until she too, can stand.©SMD 1999
WHAT IS LOVE
What is the emotion we know as love?
We're all aware of how it is described in the Bible.
Love is so much
More than patient, kind etc.
Love is caring for someone else above ourself.
Love is a true sharing of all that we are.
Love is much more than taking someone within the body,
It's accepting a presence within the mind and soul,
A true joining, becomming one with each other.
Love doesn't make demands, it's accepting...
Each other for what and who he/she is.
Without shame, without fear.
Love is both selfish and unselfish.
For to love another fully,
One must love himself.
Love is taking joy in another's success,
And supporting in sorrow.
Sorrow, not failure,
For if you have the true love of a soulmate,
There is no failure.
Love is not put on a schedule,
It grows as we grow,
Encompassing the whole,
Everything that makes us what we are,
Everything we become.©SMD 1999
Stop by and see my friend Sue's poetry ; )
Sue belongs to many webrings including: Circle of Spiritual Women, Circle of Light, Net Sisters, Messages With Meaning and 4everFriends. Take a few minutes to explore her site.
Sue is also a talented artist. See her gorgeous "Guardian Angels." Some of them are proudly displayed on her site. She also sells these beautiful creations.
God has blessed me with a second chance,and I'm grasping it with both hands. I've met so many wonderful people along the way who have offered encouragement, shared their strengths with me so I could learn from them and grow. Not the least of which is my present husband, Kevin. He has given me so much, and been so very supportive. When I lacked faith in myself, he gave me his. When my energy failed, he restored it. When my fears reared their ugly heads, he calmed and banished them.
We work together, as a team with each supporting the other. That's the way a relationship works. You support, and build together, not tear one another down or apart.
Thank you my love, for being you! I don't know if the rest of the world will thank you for giving me this puter so I could inflict my views on them, but then they don't have to read these pages! I wouldn't have made it this far without your love and support, that's where my strength comes from. I'll always love you, somehow I think you know that.
My Favorite Web Sites
Angelfire - Free Home Pages
Sue's Homepage!
Email: Sheila34@nycap.rr.com
