Dawson and Joey are on the floor on a blanket eating from take-out containers. They are both happy to be together, but do not really know what to say to each other. Dawson begins to wonder about Joey and Nick and the circumstances surrounding their break up and finally speaks up.
"Joey, if you don't mind my asking, what happened with you and Nick?
Joey sighed aloud and sat there a minute. "Well, Dawson, there isn't one big reason really. Neither of us were happy. We had gotten to where we fought what little time Nick was at home. We just didn't make each other happy and we finally realized it I guess."
Dawson "Yeah, well why did you two get married in the first place? Besides the baby- I know you were already planning to get married."
Joey grinned painfully "We weren't ready yet. We knew that. We were still in that first stage of love. We were seniors. All of our friends were married. Getting engaged seemed like the thing to do. We were usually really careful, but one night we had too much to drink and skipped the condom. We knew three weeks later and it changed everything about us. School became a struggle for us. We were stressed out all the time realizing what was ahead of us. He was freaking out because he had wanted to have a home before we had children. We were broke and that killed his pride. I think he felt trapped. I know I did. Here a week before this happened we were happily telling people we were engaged, and suddenly we find out we are going to be a family and we get scared. It wasn't until then that I really realized what my life was going to be like. We both had doubts and we put off getting married until after we graduated. I was six months pregnant when we married. I felt really alone even though he was there." Joey is staring off in a trance.
Dawson speaks up. "Joe, I had no idea. I thought you were so happy. When you called you sounded excited."
Joey breaking her trance "Yeah, I was excited in a way. I mean I loved Nick and he loved me. We were having a baby! Yea! On the outside. (smirks) I was telling you how I felt on the inside. Nick and I tried to hide our fear from each other, and certainly from our friends. We pretended to be happy. We did have happy moments. Plenty of them. I didn't mean to sound so depressed. I wouldn't take anything in the world for Amanda or Jess. They are the best things I have ever done."
Dawson "Come one Joe, I know you love your girls. I am not judging you."
Joey "I know Dawson. I can always be myself with you. I don't have to hide anything. Why couldn't we have fell in love at 18 instead of 15?"
Dawson laughs "I don't know Joe. (sighs) I don't know."
Joey nervously "OK It is your turn to spill."
Dawson nervous this time "Well what do you want to know?"
Joey giggles "Well I don't know much at all about the past two years of your life except that you made a movie. Have you had any serious girlfriends since Beth?"
Dawson looks uncomfortable and stammers "No, not really. I dated, but nothing serious."
Joey prods on "What happened with you two? Pacey was the one who told me you two had broken your engagement."
Dawson is really uncomfortable now. He rakes his fingers through his hair and finally says "I should have never asked her to marry me. I knew it was what she wanted so I proposed. She had been wanting it for a long time and I wasn't ready. Then after you told me about Nick and the baby.....well I decided what the heck."
Joey's mouth drops. "Ohh..."
Dawson "Joey, she wasn't what I wanted. No one has ever been, but you. I needed to know you would always be there for me, and after the disaster we made of things with our sophomore romance..... Well, I was afraid to try again. I wanted you to always be a part of my life. I was afraid another failed attempt would totally destroy us. I never really thought of what the alternative meant either though. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach when you told me you and Nick were engaged, but in the back of my mind I didn't believe you would go through with it. Then when you called and told me about the baby..... I wanted to tell you how I felt, but it was too late. I couldn't do that to you. I didn't know if you still cared for me in that way anyway. I didn't want to make a fool of myself. It wouldn't have been right anyway.... I am rattling now. I am sorry."
Joey "No, your not. Dawson, it killed me to call and tell you. I didn't know how you felt about me, but my heart was breaking when I made that call. I always felt like Nick expected me to be something other than what I was. He didn't really know me or understand me.... Not like you."
Dawson looks up at her "Joe, we really must have been together in another life. Maybe it wasn't meant for us to be together until now."
Joey shyly "Dawson, I don't know that I believe in fate and this "meant to be" business, but I thank God that we have found each other again now."
Dawson grins "Me too" and he leans over and kisses her.
Joey hesitantly stops the kiss "Dawson, as much as I would love to crawl back in bed with you.... I have got to go. The girls..."
Dawson exasperated, says sweetly "Ahh come on Joey, they are sleeping...Can't you stay a while longer?"
Joey thinks for a minute "No Dawson, not a good idea. I don't want to go, but Jessica woke up this morning frightened. This is a frightening time for the girls. Especially a two nearly three year old who doesn't understand what is going on."
Dawson looking defeated, and then grinning "OK I can't argue with that. You're a mommy first. When can we get together again though?"
Joey raising her eyebrows "Well I am taking the girls to the beach tomorrow if you want you can drop by and visit with us."
Dawson "How about I bring lunch?"
Joey laughs "Sure, just be sure to bring peanut butter sandwiches. That is about all I can get Jessica to eat these days!"
Dawson grinning "Sure."
They both get up and head towards the door. Joey turns around and lays a big kiss on Dawson. "Maybe we can spend some time together alone tomorrow afternoon."
Dawson kisses her back and doesn't want to stop. He finally breaks the kiss "You had better get out of here now or I will not be able to let you go. (they look at each other longingly) Seriously Joey, I want to get to know your girls, and I want them to get to know me."
Joey grins "Good, just be yourself and don't expect too much. Especially from Amanda. She really misses her dad. She may not be too happy about you and me getting together. We had not better be too...ummm...familiar around the girls. OK?"
Dawson "Yeah, I guess so. It will be hard though" he says as he pulls her in for another kiss.
Joey pulling away "I am leaving now..(laughs) Bye Dawson. See ya tomorrow."
Dawson tenderly "Bye Joe." Back To Fanfic Page Next Part...