Times came
when I couldn't be there
- out, away, absent.
When you knew you could cry
emptying your sorrows onto
my shoulder.
But I could't be there.

Times came
when I wasn't there
- welled up sorrows and
self-indulgence conceits
and ill consideration.
When you'd ask to cry on
my shoulder - and you did.
But I still wasn't there.

You never had to ask for those
embraces
- the inquiry depreciated the value.
I was always there to hold onto
in rain wind fire earth
sun sky moon stars feathers
ashes sorrows pities.
But when you asked, it was not me
you
were
looking at.
Because I never wanted you to ask...
Just to hold on and never let go

Ever.

My body spake otherwise
out of toughness and
stubbornness that
cracked as soon as you touched it.

But in those forever eyes of yours
stricken with pain
laden in tears
You masked the truth
with the way it looked;
apparitions of ---

And now I ask you.
I don't have to.

Don't allow your darkness to
fool you-
it only casts a shadow over everything
fuels doubts unto conflagrations
perhaps you were in the darkness-
but you didn't use the senses
that you still could use
Because I was right by your
side
through it all.
But in that last fall we fell together.

And just this once, we will need
to pick ourselves up

Miseries, mysteries,
Apologies and all
You never lost me once.
All you need to do
is reach to your side

Synchronized hearts
I can detect you.
We will get up
and uncover this
darkness
and find the light
to end the confusion
bewilderment
psychosis
before we both lose

Because I will never
ever your side
leave