Kuzasanagami: i'm going to see how crazy i can drive myself tonight... download depressing music and have no lights on and i'm exhausted already... maybe i will
THEN proceed to unreal tournament or TFC...... you don't want to fuck with the sniper who is high on exhaustion and depression, especially when he's got a fast
computer
Auto response from A l t u s 0 0 0: call me
Kuzasanagami: my mind is failing me
Auto response from A l t u s 0 0 0: call me
Kuzasanagami: the guy from Vertical Horizon sounds very nasal when he sings live
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Kuzasanagami: kinda like a guy with a deviated septum
Kuzasanagami: i got one of those
Kuzasanagami: doesn't make him special
Kuzasanagami: i bet his nuts would be as good as used coffee grains if i could unleash the fury of my feet on his groin
Kuzasanagami: 'cept used coffee grains have a more pleasant smell to them instead of blood, sweat, piss, and semen
Kuzasanagami: and melted rubber
Kuzasanagami: you know, i don't want to deal with anything anymore
Kuzasanagami: i just wish i could take a break from life
Kuzasanagami: like, a serious break from reality
Kuzasanagami: enter a dream state and stay there for a little while, just so i can come back and face the days with a clear mind
Kuzasanagami: i should invent something that could help people out with that, it would be fun
Kuzasanagami: right now i am forcing myself to listen to depressing music and think of depressing things; i talked to helen for 1 hour 17 minutes at 23 seconds
before, and we ended up talking about Becky for some reason
Kuzasanagami: slowly, but steadily, people are signing off of napster
Kuzasanagami: you've been idle for 3 hours and 55 minutes
Kuzasanagami: i contemplated calling you about 3 hours ago
Kuzasanagami: that's about when i returned from the movies
Kuzasanagami: i saw castaway
Kuzasanagami: ryan case took me along with his girlfriend
Kuzasanagami: his sister was there
Kuzasanagami: and i am not really sure if it is a movie you would appreciate at this point in time, you might laugh a lot more than think
Kuzasanagami: hey, i'm 18
Auto response from A l t u s 0 0 0: call me
Kuzasanagami: i could take up smoking
Kuzasanagami: or i could retrieve that vodka from gramma's
Kuzasanagami: i could definitely use some of that now
Kuzasanagami: god, eric
Kuzasanagami: i hope this gets better when i move
Kuzasanagami: i hate living like this
Kuzasanagami: and i don't even know what "this" is
Kuzasanagami: it's so uncomfortable here... it was nicer in my gramma's house. i was in a cozy, homely basement, with heat and a cable modem, and i could've had
the computer there too. my bed was on the floor, but there was still that stench of oil
Kuzasanagami: but at least i wasn't living in a cramped room out of boxes
Kuzasanagami: and i got along with Daniel pretty well
Kuzasanagami: when i was in that basement... that's when sydney and i began talking more extensively
Kuzasanagami: (i wonder if it actually means something that i didn't capitalize "sydney" or "i")
Kuzasanagami: we had a great conversation one night, and i had her close her eyes and tell me what she saw
Kuzasanagami: remember that temple you imagined? the one that scared you and me that night we slept over brad's after his birthday party...
Kuzasanagami: it was scary because you didn't know what was lurking in each dark alley or around any of the corners
Kuzasanagami: because all the hallways were dark
Kuzasanagami: hers was scary... and you could see everything
Kuzasanagami: and she said that the only way she could keep moving was if i was there
Kuzasanagami: as long as i was there it made travelling easier
Kuzasanagami: not just easier, it made it possible
Kuzasanagami: and i just wanted to be in her world
Kuzasanagami: in that meadow
Kuzasanagami: and in those woods
Kuzasanagami: and i know i'm not in that temple anymore
Kuzasanagami: i don't feel it
Kuzasanagami: because it hid too much from me, and it was unfathomable
Kuzasanagami: (these are the thoughts that will keep me out of the really good schools)
Kuzasanagami: i know i'm not going crazy...
Kuzasanagami: i just need to write this out
Kuzasanagami: just know that i said it
Kuzasanagami: and i'm not going to commit myself to less sanity and tell you that i love her boundlessly and unconditionally...