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Confessions (Continued)

"Pacey! Breakfast!" comes the cry from downstairs in the Witter house. Pacey moans and rolls over to bury his head under the pillow. "Pacey, now!" his mother cries again.

"I'm sleeping. Leave me alone!" he moans quietly, though he knows she couldn't possibly hear him. He's just hoping she'll give up soon and let him go back to sleep.

"Pacey, mom says get down to breakfast now," he hears someone say from the doorway. He doesn't have to look up to recognize the voice of his sister Maggie.

"Tell her I'm not hungry," he says from beneath the pillow.

"Too bad, you still have to come downstairs. We're leaving in half an hour to go to Nana's house."

"No way!" Pacey says as he sits up in bed. He looks at Maggie, who is already fully dressed. "I am *not* going!" he insists.

Maggie smirks, "We'll just see about that," she says then turns on her heels to leave.

"Please, not today!" Pacey says to himself as he pulls the pillow back over his head. He has had a bad enough weekend without spending his entire Sunday at his grandparent's house listening to his brother, his dad, and his grandfather talk about the police force. They always manage to imply how much of a screw up he is by not being part of their little world.

"Pacey, up now!" Doug says as he enters the room.

"Leave me alone Doug! I'm not going anywhere. I have a test tomorrow and I need to study."

"Yeah right! You can study at Nana's. Now hurry up and get dressed before I have to drag you out of bed myself," he commands.

Pacey gives him a dirty look but pulls back the covers and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. He's wearing plaid boxers and socks but no shirt. Doug throws some clothes at him and says, "Be ready in five minutes," then he leaves the room.

"Man, I definitely must be adopted," Pacey mumbles and starts to pull on the clothes.

* * * * *


Joey feels Dawson's lips press against hers and she hears a soft moan. She can't determine if it came from her or from Dawson but at this point she doesn't care. His lips taste sweet and feel moist against hers. She hopes her lips aren't too dry, she is incredibly nervous. She feels his hand come up to cup her cheek and she leans her face against his palm, feeling her skin tingle at his touch. Their teeth clink together and she feels his tongue brush her bottom lip. She wants to open her eyes to make sure it is really him, but she doesn't dare. What if she opens them to find that none of this is real? She's kissing Dawson Leery, something she has long dreamed about, and she wants it to last as long as possible . . .

"Joey?" a voice calls. She tries to ignore it, not wanting to be pulled from her embrace with Dawson. "Joey?" the voice says again, this time with more persistence.

"Dawson . . ." she mumbles softly.

"Josephine Potter!" the voice yells.

Finally, Joey's eyes fly open. It takes her a moment to realize where she is. She's not in the library kissing Dawson like she had thought. She's in her room, in bed. It was all just a dream. Now, Bessie is standing over her looking extremely annoyed.

"Where were you last night?" she asks.

"I . . . I was . . ."

"No, don't even make an excuse. I checked this room until 2am and you were no where to be seen. Were you at Dawson's?"

"Dawson? No, I . . . I was here. I was just outside. I . . . I needed to think . . ."

"Think? Think about what? You didn't seem to be thinking about the fact that I had no idea where you were. You weren't thinking of how worried I was and how you could at least have come home sometime before midnight to tell me where you were," Bessie yells.

"I . . . I'm sorry. Look, I just needed some time alone, okay? I mean, can't I get some privacy once in a while?"

"Joey . . ." she starts to reply in an angry tone.

"Bes, can I speak to you a moment?" Bodi asks from the doorway.

"Not now Bodi," she says over her shoulder.

"Yes, now," he says in a more demanding tone.

She turns to look at him, then looks back to Joey. With a sigh, Bessie turns around to head towards the door. Before leaving, she says, "We're still going to talk about this young lady."

"Yeah, I'm sure we will," Joey mumbles. Bessie opens her mouth to reply but before she can say anything Bodi pulls her out into the hallway and closes the door.

When they are gone, Joey rubs her hands roughly over her face. She's still out of it from that dream. She brings her fingers to her lips and touches them softly. The sensation of Dawson's lips had been so real, how could it have been a dream? It was just like they were back in that library . . .

"Damn Bessie for waking me up," she mutters to herself.

Joey sinks back into the pillows and closes her eyes, hoping to reenter the dream. It's no use though, she can't recapture it. Wherever she was, she has no idea how to find her way back. She looks up at the ceiling and wonders to herself what Dawson is doing right about now. He's probably with Jen having breakfast or going for a morning walk. She shakes her head in disgust, cursing herself for not being able to control her feelings for him. It would be so much easier to just hate him, if only she knew how . . .

* * * * *


By 11am, Dawson has long since given up on getting back to sleep. Instead, he has gotten up, changed into some fresh clothes, and is now sitting outside looking out over the creek. It's very quiet out, yet he is so lost in thought that he doesn't hear Jen approaching until she lays a hand on his shoulder. Startled, Dawson jumps and has to stifle a yell as he spins around. He turns quickly and looks relieved when he sees who is behind him.

"Jen! God, you scared me!" he gasps.

"Sorry," she says with a slight grin. "So, how are you doing?" she asks as she slides down to sit next to him.

He shrugs, "Okay I guess."

"You don't look okay," she replies softly. She places a hand on his shoulder and he stiffens his posture at her touch. Immediately noticing this, she pulls her hand back. "Sorry," she says. "I didn't mean . . ."

"No, it's not you. I'm the one who should apologize."

"It's okay, Dawson. I know you have a lot on your mind right now." They sit silently for a moment, then Jen asks, "Have you heard from Joey?"

"No," Dawson shakes his head sadly. "I haven't seen her or talked to her since we left the school yesterday."

"She'll come around," Jen says, trying to buoy his spirits.

"Yeah . . ." he replies uncertainly.

"Dawson . . ." she starts off. Her voice sounds very unsteady, as if she isn't sure she wants to proceed.

"Hmm?" he asks as he turns to face her.

"How do you feel about her?" she finally asks.

"About Joey? Well, I . . . I mean . . ." he stammers.

"No, forget I asked that. It's none of my business," she says.

"Yes it is," he says. "It's just . . . well, I don't really know. I mean, I care about her. She's my best friend. I don't want to lose that. But . . . I want to be with you. That much I know for sure." He smiles slightly at her and takes her hand in his. She returns the smile and they sit quietly and look out over the water together.

* * * * *


"Hey Jo, order up," Bodi calls to her as he sets a plate of food on the counter. It's a slow Sunday and he doesn't really need Joey's help but he could tell the last thing she needed today was an afternoon alone with Bessie. Joey is grateful for the distraction.

"Thanks Bodi," she says as she picks up the plate and takes it over to the waiting customer. It's 2:30pm and he is the only customer she has at the moment. After serving the food, Joey turns and walks back to the counter to sit down.

Bodi walks over to stand beside her on the opposite side of the counter. "So, you wanna talk about it?" he asks.

She looks at him and sighs. "I messed up big time," she says miserably.

"It can't be that bad," Bodi says, trying to make her feel better.

"You haven't heard what I did yet," she replies.

"You feel like talking about it?" he asks cautiously, not wanting to upset her anymore than she obviously already is.

Joey bites her bottom lip and looks down at her hands. "Yesterday, in detention, I uh . . ." she hesitates, then slowly continues. "I told Dawson that I like him. Well, I didn't actually say it but he knew."

"Like him? You mean like . . . Oh, I see," Bodi says as he catches her drift. "Well, how can you be so sure he knew what you meant?"

"Trust me, he knew," Joey laments.

"Hmm, well, that's not the end of the world, Jo," he offers.

"That's not the worst of it. I didn't just say it in front of Dawson. Pacey was there, and this girl named Abby who will no doubt tell every person in Capeside, and . . ."

"And who?" Bodi asks.

"And Dawson's girlfriend, Jen," she says.

"Oh," is all Bodi says in reply.

"Oh is right," she says. She covers her face with her hands and groans. "Oh God, I should never have let him kiss me!"

"Kiss you?" Bodi asks in surprise.

"Yeah, we were playing Truth or Dare. Pacey dared us to kiss for fifteen seconds so . . . Oh my gosh, I never thought I'd feel like that. But, he was kissing me Bodi! Jesus, what am I going to do?" she moans.

"Sounds to me like you need to talk to Dawson. And, this time, I'd try it without the audience," he says.

"Easier said than done," Joey grumbles.

"No one ever said life was easy, kiddo," he replies. He pats her shoulder lightly then turns to go back into the kitchen.

"Yeah," Joey whispers to herself, "if there is anything in this world I know, it's that."

* * * * *


At 4 o'clock in the afternoon, Pacey walks up the front porch steps at the Leery residence. Dawson is sitting by himself in the porch swing. He looks pretty miserable.

"Your day couldn't have been as bad as mine," Pacey says as he sits down in a chair across from him.

"Wanna bet?" Dawson replies sullenly.

"Well, I spent a lovely afternoon at my grandparents house with my family. Me against dad, gramps, and Deputy Doug. I was doomed from the start," Pacey says in a sour tone with a sarcastic smirk. Dawson's expression does not change. Pacey arches his eyebrow, surprised to get no reaction at all. "Come on Dawson, life can't suck that bad," he tells his friend.

"Yes, it can Pace," he replies.

"What happened now?" Pacey asks.

"I think Jen is upset about this whole thing with Joey," he explains.

"Well, duh Dawson!"

"I know, she's got a right to be, but . . . now I'm not sure what to do. Either way, no matter what happens, one of them will end up getting hurt." He grows quiet for a moment, then says, "Pace, how do I decide which one to hurt and which one's feelings to spare? How can I possibly make that decision?"

Pacey frowns. "Sorry bud, I guess my day wasn't so bad after all," he admits.

"Gee, I'm so thrilled to win that bet," Dawson says as he rolls his eyes in sarcasm.

"Well, I see your point. You're in a rough spot. If you still hang out with Joey and stuff you will automatically hurt Jen because she knows how Joey really feels. But, on the other hand, if you blow her off for Jen, you're going to destroy Joey. I'd hate to be in your shoes, Dawson."

"Thanks for the summary," he replies.

"But, you know what?"

"What?" Dawson asks.

"If it were me, I'd have a hell of a lot harder time hurting the one I really loved. You have to follow your true feelings on this. That's the only way you can do this right."

Dawson looks at him, not sure what to say. So, if he "chooses" the girl he cares about the most who does that mean he's going to choose?

As if he can tell what Dawson is thinking, Pacey says, "Don't use your head on this one Dawson. You won't find the answer there."

After a moment of silence, Dawson responds, "Yeah . . ."

Pacey nods and starts to say something, but he stops when he sees Dawson's attention divert to the front yard. He turns to look in the direction of his friend's gaze and instantly knows what has drawn his attention. Joey. She's standing there watching them, not saying anything.

Pacey gets up quickly. "Uh, I really should get going." Dawson starts to protest but Pacey is already halfway down the steps. He stops for a moment beside Joey and places a hand on her shoulder. His mouth curls up at the corner in a small, reassuring smile, then he walks quickly away from the house, waving over his shoulder at his two friends.

After Pacey has left, Joey mounts the stairs slowly. "Hey," she says to Dawson in a voice so small that he barely hears her.

"Hey," he replies.

"I, uh . . . I thought we should talk," she says.

"What about?" he asks, his eyes avoiding hers at all costs. He feels bad about the fact that she's hurt, but he can't help but be angry with her, too. If she'd just kept all of this to herself they wouldn't even be worrying about this right now.

"Dawson, I'm sorry," she says in a pleading voice as she walks closer to the swing. He doesn't reply, just continues to cast an icy stare out towards the water. "So, that's how it is now? After all these years, all of the times we've spent together, you're going to let this be the end?" she asks.

He considers her words and has to look up at her now. He's prepared to yell at her for dropping all of this on him. His first thought is that she deserves his anger for managing to screw up his life so much in just a few minutes time. But . . . one look at her and all of that is lost. She has tears gliding down her cheeks and she looks so lost and alone that he can't stand it. Without a second thought, Dawson jumps up and wraps her in his arms.

She falls willingly into his embrace and sobs on his shoulder. "I'm sorry Dawson. I'm sorry I messed things up so bad," she says through her tears.

"It's okay Joey. I'm sorry for being a jerk. Maybe I was stupid for not knowing anyway." He pulls back from her just enough so he can look into her eyes. "We'll work it out," he says. "You're always going to be my best friend. I'm totally confused about everything else in my life right now, but that part I know for sure." Joey smiles slightly and Dawson brushes a few tears from her cheeks. They sit together on the swing, not sure what has changed and where it will lead them, but knowing life in Capeside will never be the same.

* * * * *




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