About Last Night

* * * * *

"Dawson, how's Joey doing?" he hears as he enters the front door of his house. Dawson makes his way into the kitchen where his mother and father are seated at the counter drinking coffee.
"You look tired, sweetheart," his mother comments. "Let me make you something to eat," she says and starts to get up.
"No, Mom, I'm fine," he protests as he motions for her to sit back down.
"Dawson, you need to eat breakfast," she replies.
"I had some toast at Joey's. I'm really not all that hungry," he says.
"Well, at least you have to drink some juice," she tells him. His mother gets up and takes a glass from the cabinet.
"Mom . . ." Dawson starts to protest again.
His father cuts him off. "You might as well sit down and drink it because she will never leave you alone until you do," he says with a smirk.
"I heard that Mitchell," she says as she reaches into the refrigerator to retrieve a carton of orange juice.
"Oops, busted," Mitch whispers to Dawson and Dawson grins and shakes his head. His mother returns to her seat, handing Dawson a large glass of juice. She gives Mitch a mock dirty look. "What? What did I say?" he asks.
"Sometimes I wonder who the teenager is in this house," she says with a smirk. Mitch gives her a sad puppy dog look and she can't help but grin. She kisses him gently and they smile at one another.
Dawson watches his parents. He's happy to see them getting along so well. It's been about a month since his dad found out about his mom's affair with Bob and this is the happiest he has seen them. For a while, Dawson had wondered if things would ever get back to normal but now it seems they are finally starting to.
"So, is Joey feeling better honey?" Gayle asks.
Dawson is pulled from his thoughts on his family by his mother's question. "Uh, yeah," he answers. "Her fever was almost normal when I left her this morning."
"Is she still there alone? Bessie and Bodi aren't home yet?" she asks.
"No, they aren't coming back until Wednesday," Dawson answers.
"Well, I'm not so sure it's a good idea for Joey to stay there all alone. I mean, she's sick. Not to mention that their phone is always going out and she's pretty far from the closest house . . . we are the closest in fact. I just don't like the idea of her there all alone," Gayle says.
"I left our cellular phone with her," Dawson says. "And I plan to go over tonight to check on her."
"All the same, I'd feel better if she stayed here for the next few days," Gayle says.
"I'm not so sure Joey is going to like that idea . . ." Dawson replies.
"No, your mother is right," Mitch says. "I have a few things to do this afternoon for my investors meeting tomorrow but as soon as I am finished you and I will drive over and pick Joey up. Call her and tell her to get her things together."
"Sure, okay," Dawson says.
"And, in the meantime, I'd say you might want to get a little more sleep. You look exhausted, son," Mitch says.
"Yeah, maybe I will," he replies. He downs the remainder of his orange juice and walks over to set the glass in the sink.
"Go rest honey, I'll wake you for lunch in a few hours," Gayle says.
"Thanks Mom," he says and kisses her cheek. She smiles and squeezes his hand gently. Dawson turns to leave the kitchen and starts for the stairs. When he is halfway upstairs he hears giggles from the kitchen and knows his parents are back to acting like 14 year olds. He smiles to himself and continues upstairs.

* * * * *

"Grams, has Dawson called?" Jen asks as she comes downstairs late that morning.
"No Jennifer, he has not. And, if you are going to insist on not going to church with me, the least you could do is get up before lunchtime."
"I've been up since 9 o'clock," she says. I got up right after you left for church. I had to finish my history paper. I was just in the shower for the last half-hour and I thought Dawson might have called to say how Joey was doing. I wanted to make sure she was okay."
"I'm sure Josephine is fine. I have a feeling that strong will of hers was more protection than the antibiotics anyway."
"Antibiotics?" Jen asks.
"Yes, I took some over to her this morning after services. And she looked fine to me. Almost no fever left and she was up and dressed. More than I can say for you," she comments as she looks at Jen's attire, a terrycloth bathrobe.
"Jeez! Fine, I'm going to get dressed. Forget you even saw me this morning," Jen says and turns to storm back up the stairs.
Mrs. Ryan watches her go without varying her expression. When she hears Jen's door slam shut overhead, she turns to the refrigerator to start preparing lunch.

* * * * *

Pacey knocks on the door and waits. No one answers. He knocks again. Still, there is no answer. Finally, he pushes open the door and sticks his head inside. "Joey?" he calls out. "Dawson? Anybody here?"
"Right here," Joey says from the kitchen.
Pacey is startled by this and nearly jumps out of his skin. "Jeez, don't ever do that!" he says.
"Sorry," Joey giggles. "I didn't realize you were so jumpy."
"Why didn't you answer the door?" Pacey asks as he walks further in and closes the door behind him. "I was worried something might have happened to you . . . like last night."
"I said come in but you didn't hear me I guess. I was just about to go to the door when you opened it," she explains.
"Hmm . . . well, how are you feeling? Any better?" he asks.
"Yeah, a lot better than yesterday, that's for sure," she says. "Jen's grandmother came by this morning and gave me some antibiotics to take. She said that would keep me from getting sick again."
"Mrs. Ryan? Man, she better watch it or she'll ruin that Wicked Witch of the East image she has going," Pacey smirks. "Which reminds me Dorothy, where is the Cowardly Lion this morning?"
"If you mean Dawson, then I am assuming he's with Glenda the Good Witch," she says, rolling her eyes.
"If he only had a brain . . ." Pacey says.
Joey looks at him and smiles slightly. They are standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. She is leaning against the doorframe on one side and he is leaning against the opposite side. "Thanks," she says softly.
"I mean it, Dawson is so stupid for not seeing all that he has right in front of his eyes," Pacey says.
"Well, I think I'm beginning to realize how incredibly stupid that makes me, too," she replies and looks down at her feet with a forlorn expression.
"Jo . . ." Pacey says and moves closer to lay his hand on her shoulder.
"I'm an idiot, Pacey," she says as she starts to cry. "I can plainly see I am wasting my time and yet I still sit back and wait for him while he's off having a good time with his girlfriend." Pacey put his arm around her and Joey lays her head on his shoulder as she cries. Suddenly, she stops. She looks up at Pacey. "He's never going to love me," she says. It's like a realization. All of the sudden, she sees everything so clearly in her mind. And, just as suddenly, all of the fantasies she has had of a future with Dawson Leery seem to melt away.
"Joey, don't say that . . ."
"No, it's true. I can't keep lying to myself. I have to face the facts."
"He was here last night wasn't he? What time did he leave?"
Joey hesitates, but finally says, "After breakfast."
"See? He stayed all night, just like I figured," Pacey says.
"But, he left this morning to go see Jen. Don't you see Pacey? He spent last night making sure his *friend* was okay because he felt like he had to, but, this morning, he went running off to be with his *girlfriend* because that was where he really wanted to be. If I believe anything else I'll just be kidding myself. I'm through doing that."
She sniffles and pulls away from Pacey. As she wipes away the tears from her cheeks and composes herself, Pacey wonders if Dawson can see all that is quickly slipping out of his reach. If he doesn't get it very soon, Dawson could lose his chance to be with the girl he really belongs with. But, Pacey also has to admit that a small part of him hopes Dawson will miss that chance. Maybe then Pacey can have a chance of his own . . .

* * * * *

Dawson sits on his bed and stares up at the ceiling. He had come up here to sleep but for the last half-hour he hasn't even closed his eyes. He can't seem to get his mind off of last night. All he can think about is the look on Joey's face when he told her he was leaving to go and see Jen this morning.
'Why did you tell her that anyway? You knew it was a lie,' he thinks. The only explanation he can come up with is that he was scared. The feeling he had last night as he watched Joey sleeping in his arms . . . it had terrified him.
"She probably hates you now, you idiot," he mumbles.
"Dawson? Are you still up?" he hears from the doorway. He looks to see his mom enter the room.
"Mom . . . uh, yeah. I couldn't sleep," he says.
She walks over and sits beside him on the bed. She brushes the hair out of his eyes the same way she has since he was five years old. "What's the matter sweetheart?"
'Why do moms always know when something is wrong?' he wonders. This is the last thing he wants to discuss right now.
"Nothing . . . I'm fine. I'm just tired and I can't sleep. You know how that is sometimes."
"Sure . . ." she keeps watching him with concern though and he can tell she is unconvinced. "You know, you can always talk to me. I know sometimes it's easier to talk to your dad . . . I guess that's the drawback to being the only girl in this household. No one feels like they can confide in me. I'm here if you need me though."
"I know, I know that Mom. It's just . . . Ugh, I don't know! Life is so complicated! One minute I meet the perfect girl and my life starts to fall into place and then . . . then I suddenly realize that the perfect person was there all along and I was just too stupid to see it. And now . . . now I have the girl I thought I wanted but I really want the girl I could have had all along . . . I think. I don't know!" He stops babbling and looks at his mother. "I'm sorry, I'm not making any sense. Now you see why I didn't want to talk about it. I have no clue what is going on."
"No, I understand completely. This is about Joey," she says knowingly.
"Well . . ." Dawson says, trying to think of a way to avoid this confession but unable to come up with anything, "yeah."
"It's okay. She feels the same way," his mother assures him.
"I don't think so. Not after all this time, all the things I've done . . . how could her feelings be the same? Anyway, I don't deserve it if they are."
"Dawson, things will work out. They always do. Just look at your father and I. Did you ever think things would be the same with us after what I did? And now he's finally forgiving me and we can get past all this. It'll happen for you and Joey. Just give it time."
"That's just it," he tells her. "I'm not sure I want it to happen. I mean, what will that mean? How can we still be best friends if we're . . ." he sighs. "I don't know what I want. I want Joey, but I don't. I like Jen, but then I see Joey with Pacey and it makes me crazy! And last night she fell asleep in my arms and . . . I've never felt like that before."
Gayle Leery smiles. Dawson may not know it yet, but she can see this picture very clearly. Her son is falling in love. She's suspected this for a while but she has always told herself he was too young or that Joey was too good a friend to him. But, now, she realizes how perfect it really is. "Dawson, you are going to be just fine. Confusion is part of growing up. And, if I know my son, and I know that I do, he will make the right decision in the end." She gets up and leans down to plant a kiss on his forehead. "Get some sleep honey. I'll call Joey."
"Thanks Mom," he says. She turns and starts to leave. "Mom, wait . . ." he calls and she turns back towards him. "Thanks for listening. I'm glad we talked about this. I love you . . . I don't say that enough."
She smiles broadly. "I love you, too." With that, she turns to go and Dawson closes his eyes to try and sleep.

* * * * *

Jen picks at the casserole on her plate but doesn't eat a bite. She has no appetite. All day she has been waiting to hear from Dawson, but all day the phone has rung only once and it was Grams friend from church calling about some prayer meeting that week. "Jennifer, you need to eat," Mrs. Ryan says.
"I'm not hungry," she says.
"Are you getting sick?" she asks, reaching over to feel Jen's forehead.
Jen pulls away. "I'm fine. I'm not sick. I'm just not hungry. Is that allowed?" she snaps.
"Watch your tongue young lady!"
"Sorry," Jen mumbles and goes back to picking at the casserole. "May I please be excused?" she finally asks.
Mrs. Ryan sighs. "Well, I don't see why not."
Jen gets up and heads up the stairs. She walks into her room and goes over to the window to look across to Dawson's house. The curtains are blowing in his window but she can't see anyone and the place looks quiet enough. She wonders if he's home. She thinks about calling him but decides against it. If he wants to talk to her, he'll call. Until then, she'll just have to try and think about something else. That, it seems, will be the hardest part of all.

* * * * *