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Auburn

It is impossible to be stable
It is impossible to be sure
It is impossible to be able
To predict that the future would be
Secure
It is impossible to be satisfied
When you miss the one thing
It is impossible to be happy
When it was never meant to be
It is impossible to be lonely
When everyone you know is
Around
It is impossible to be able to deal
With autumn
When this is the season that
Evolves the memories of auburn

What Auburn means ?

A lot of people have many labels for this, Mine is Auburn. What it means is Something that you want, but you can't have". Auburn is a color, I know but it is the color of the hair of the someone that I can't have. Wishing for a closure has always been one of the things that I wanted to have. Asking my mind to open every single memory and to be described detail by detail. When it did dealing with all of the things that has been forgotten, why your mind blocked them for a reason, now that it's out dealing with the consquences of all.

These letters have been all of that. In plain english throwing out mental garbage to be finally clean and stable again. Dealing with all of this has damaged me and to recover these are words into a letter format that will never be sent out and maybe one day the source will see them. Dealing with everything and finally seeing the horizon to where the closure sits and revealing it and finding out that the one thing that made you believe in love and in yourself or whatever that just made you believe in something, was something that your reflection on an image was something that you weren't expecting when you finally revealed it.. a fantasy, a mirage. A destructive vision that sits upon you and laughing at you telling you "fuck, where is your foundation now" never to believe and always to feel the torment. Is it being shallow and is it being stubborn. Yes to all, but just one thing Auburn was a symbol in your life and you can't never deny the feeling of whatever Auburn stood for you...

Letters to Auburn that were never sent