I’m losing control. I’ve limited my daily caloric intake to 500. I’m taking Dexatrim in the morning and 7 or 8 Ativan at night. People are started to notice, and tell me that I’m not eating enough. I can’t wait for the high the Ativan gives me every night. It’s such an euphoric feeling. I have to see my psychiatrist today. Everyone is urging me to tell him the truth. If I do, I might end up in detox or a psychiatric ward. Wish me well. If I do have to be hospitalized, I will write entries on paper and give them to Colleen to post for me. I know she’d visit me often. I’m scared. Won’t someone hold me?
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