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November 12, 1999

“I’m so sorry you had to kick my ass
you said I ruined your life
I didn’t mean to do that
I’m so sorry
I regret everything
but what can I do to have you take back that swing
I’m so sorry a scuffle ensued
things are much better now
I guess thanks to you”

People say that I’m drinking too much lately. Maybe blackouts aren’t normal to everyone else, but I don’t mind it. When I’m drunk I feel so free. I can laugh. They say alcohol is a depressant. It doesn’t make me depressed. It takes away my depression. I admit that I’m more impulsive when I’m drunk, but that’s okay. I can get myself out of any trouble I get involved with. I’m still in control. Maybe not when I’m passed out in the backseat of a friend’s car, but they watch out for me. I just prefer to be in an altered state of mind. Reality is so overrated.

Meg

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