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November 12, 1999

ďIím so sorry you had to kick my ass
you said I ruined your life
I didnít mean to do that
Iím so sorry
I regret everything
but what can I do to have you take back that swing
Iím so sorry a scuffle ensued
things are much better now
I guess thanks to youĒ

People say that Iím drinking too much lately. Maybe blackouts arenít normal to everyone else, but I donít mind it. When Iím drunk I feel so free. I can laugh. They say alcohol is a depressant. It doesnít make me depressed. It takes away my depression. I admit that Iím more impulsive when Iím drunk, but thatís okay. I can get myself out of any trouble I get involved with. Iím still in control. Maybe not when Iím passed out in the backseat of a friendís car, but they watch out for me. I just prefer to be in an altered state of mind. Reality is so overrated.


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