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February 15, 1999

I feel so sedated, almost numb. There's 6 messages on my answering machine. I want to pick up the phone and call people back, but I almost feel that I don't have the energy. When people talk to me, it sounds like noise (noise that I can't understand). When I'm alseep, I try to wake myself up. It's like I'm trapped; forced to be asleep. The dreams start. He's hurting me again. I can't stop him. When I do wake up, I'm dizzy and feel in a daze. Nothing seems real.

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