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South Park Lyrics

Please click an episode or entire season.



It's come to my attention lately that some people believe this section is a website on its own. Well, it's not. It's a small - very small - part of my South Park webiste, SPC2K.

Bigger, Longer and Uncut


Season 1

Cartman Gets An Anal Probe
Volcano
Weight Gain 4000
Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig
Pinkeye
Mr. Hankey

Season 2

Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut
Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls
Roger Ebert Needs to Lay Off the Fatty Foods (Planearium)
Chef Aid
Gnomes

Season 3

Rainforest Schmainforest
Chef's Mama
Cat Orgy
Jewbilee


Now entering Season one.

Cartman Gets an Anal Probe


Make Love to Ya Woman
I'm gonna make love to ya woman,
Gonna lay you down by the fire,
And caress your womanly body,
Make you moan and prespire,
Gonna keep those juices flowin,
We makin love gravy love gravy love love love love love gravy!
-Chef

I Love to Singa
I love to singa
About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a
I love to singa
About the sky all blue-a or a tea for two-a
-Cartman


Volcano


Hot Lava
Baby every time that we kiss,
it's lava.
And every time we make love,
it's lava, hot lava.
-Chef

Weight Gain 4000


Sexual Fantasy
Now, Kathy Lee, you're a very special woman... I don't mean special in a Mary Tyler Moore way, or an Extra Value Meal at Happy Burger way... I mean special, like the sound of a male hummingbird as he gets ready to find that female hummingbird and make sweet love...

Oh, Kathy Lee, you're such a special woman to me,
How about you and me gettin together and make sweet love,
Oh, Kathy Lee, you're my sexual fantasy,
How I'd love to lay you down and lick every inch of your body with my tounge,
Yeah, Kathy Lee, you're my sexual fantasy,
How about you and me...
-Chef


Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride


We Are Gay
We are gay and that's okay!
Cuz gay means happy and happy and happy means gay!
We're not sad anymore cuz we're out the closet door!
It's oka-ay to be gay!
Tra la la!
Tre le le!
Tra la la!
Tre le le!
-Big Gay Al's Big Gay Pals

An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig


Tonight is Right for Love
Tonight is right for love,
You know I wanna touch you where the lights don't go.
Tonight is right for love,
Love gravy...
Expression love so sweet,
You know I wanna love you like a dog in heat,
Tonight is right for love,
Love gravy...
Ooooh, tonight, ohhhh, it's right,
Ooooh, tonight is right for love,
love gravy...
Tonight is right for love,
Love graaaaaavyyyy.
-Chef and Elton John

Pinkeye


Ms. Cartman's Decorating Song
I'm gonna decorate the house for Halloween,
With scary bats and ghosts
And creepy crawly themes...
(Dialouge)
It's the most wonderful time of the year...
-Ms. Cartman

Make Love
I'm gonna make love...
Even when I'm dead!
My body get cold,
But it's always hot in my bed!
Make love!
Don't you be afraid!
Just because my heart ain't beating...
It don't mean you won't get laid!
-Chef


Mr. Hankey


Lonely Jew
It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My friends won't let me join in any games.
And I can't sing Christmas songs or decorate a Christmas tree.
Or leave water out for Rudolph cuz there's something wrong with me.
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ divinity.
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew, on Christmas...
Hannukah is nice, but why is it...
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating ham, I have to eat Kosher latkes.
Instead of Silent Night, I'm singing Hoohach Goda Veed.
And what the f**k is up with lighting all these f**king candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a lonely Jew... I'd be merry, but I'm Hebrew...
On Chriiiistmaaaaaaaas...
-Kyle

Kyle's Mom is a Stupid Bitch (in D Minor)
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell...
Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch.
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch!
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls!

On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch.
Wednesday through Saturday, she's a bitch.
Then on Sunday, just to be different,
She's a super King Kamehameha bi-ach!

Have you ever met my friend, Kyle's, mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair!
She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch...
Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch...
She's a stupid bitch!
Kyle's mom's a bitch and she's just a dirty bitch!
Kyle's mom is a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-cha!
-Cartman

Mr. Hankey Song
Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo,
He loves me, I love you,
Therefore, vicariously he loves you...
Even if you're a Jew!
Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny.
He can be brown or greenish brown.
But if you eat fiber on Christmas Eve,
He might come to your town!
Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo!
He loves me, I love you!
He loves you!
-The People of South Park


Now entering Season two.

Cartman's Mom is Still a Dirty Slut


Come Sail Away
Lyrics here.

Chef's Salty Chocolate Balls


Chocolate Salty Balls
Say everybody, have you seen my balls?
They're big and salty and brown!
If you ever need a quick pick-me-up,
Just stick my balls in your mouth!
Ooooh, suck on my chocolate salty balls!
Put em in your mouth!
Put em in your mouth and suck em and suck em!
-Chef

Roger Ebert Needs to Lay Off the Fatty Foods (Planearium)


Cheesy Poofs Song I love Cheesy Poofs,
You love Cheesy Poofs,
If we didn't eat Cheesy Poofs,
We'd be lame.

Chef Aid


Click here.

Gnomes


The Gnome Song
Time to go to work,
Work all day,
We need underpants hey!
We won't stop until we have underpants!
Yum tum yummy tum tay!
Time to go to work,
Work all night,
Search for underpants yay!
We won't stop until we have underpants!
Yum tum yummy tum tay!

Now entering Season 3.

Rainforest Schmainforest


Getting Gay With Kids Song (Original Version)
There's a place that is magical and full of rain!
Now it needs help because it is in pain!
Saving the earth is a mighty big chore!
We're spreading awareness like never before!

Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To spread the word and bring you cheer!
We'll save the Rainforest, what do ya say?
Being an activist is totally gay!

And someday if we work hard, boys and girls...
There'll be nothing but rainforest covering the entire world!
Yaaaaa-haaaaaa!

Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To spread the word and bring you cheer!
We'll save the Rainforest, what do ya say?
Being an activist is totally gay!
It's totally GAY!
-GGWK

Getting Gay With Kids Song (Anti-Rainforest Version)
There's a place called the rainforest that truly sucks ass!
Let's knock it all down and get rid of it fast!
You say save the rainforest, but what do you know?
You've never been to the rainforest before!

Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To tell you things you might not like to hear!
You only fight these causes cause caring sells!
All you activists can go f**k yourselves!

And someday if we work hard boys and giiiirls...
There'll be no rainforests left in the entire wooooorld...
Yaaaaa-haaaaaaa!

Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To tell you things you might not like to hear!
You only fight these causes cause sells!
All you activists can go f**k yourselves!
It's totally gay.. it's toally GAY!
-GWWK


Chef's Mama


Morning After
There's got to be a morning after...
If we can hold on to the light...
We'll keep on searching together...
We can make it through the night.
-Chef and Veronica

Morning After (Backwards)
Night the through it make can we.
Together searching on keep we'll.
Light the to on hold can we if.
After morning a be to got there's.
-Stan and Kyle

(Yes, I do realize the words are supposed to be reversed, but this IS the way they sung it.)


Cat Orgy


Wild Wild West
Not quite done writing up the lyrics to this one. My badz. I appreciate your patience. :)

Jewbilee


Squirts' Song
We are Squirts.
We are Squirts.
We're so Kosher that it hurts.
When we get older we'll be scouts.
But until then we are Squirts.

Bigger, Longer and Uncut (Movie)


Mountain Town
Stan:
There's a bunch of birds in the sky
And some deers just went running by
O, the snow's pure and white on the earth rich and broooooooown
Just another Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town
The sun is shining and the grass is green
Under the three feet of snow I mean
This is a day when it's hard to wear a frooooooown
All the happy people stop to say hello
Even though the temperature's low.
It's Sunday morning in my quiet little mountain town

(Dialouge)
Stan's mom:
O what a picture perfect child
Just like Jesus he's tender and mild
He wore a smile while he wore a thorny croooooown
What an angel with a heart so sweet and sure
And a mind so open and pure
Thank god we live in this quiet redneck mountain town

(Dialouge)
Stan:
You can see your breath hanging in the air
You see homeless people but you just don't care
It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drooooooooown
Kenny:
And this movie's gonna make our lives complete,
Cuz Terrance and Phillip are sweet!
Stan:
That's right!
Stan, Kenny and Church Chior:
It's Sunday morning in our quiet little mountain town

(Dialouge)
Kyle's mom:
Look at those frail and fragile boys
It really gets me down
The world is such a rotten place
And city life's a complete disgrace
That's why I moved to this redneck mushegenna quiet mountain toooooooooooown

(Dialouge)
Stan, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman:
Off to the movies we shall go
Where we learn everything that we know
Cuz the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say
And this movie's gonna make our lives complete
Cuz Terrance and Phillip are sweet (super-sweet!)
Thank god we live in the quiet little redneck poduck white trash KICKASS!
U..... S..... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Uncle Fucka
Terrance:
Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka
You're a cock-sucking, ass-licking, Uncle Fucka
You're an Uncle Fucka, yes it's true
Nobody fucks Uncles quite like you

Phillip:
Shut YOUR fucking face, Uncle Fucka
You're the one that fucked your uncle, Uncle Fucka
You don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn
Just fuck your uncle all day long

(Farting duo)
Canadian People:
Fucka, fucka, fucka, uncle fucka, fucka!
Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka!
You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucka!
That's U N C L E - fuck you! Uncle Fucka!
(Suck my balls)

It's Easy, M'kay
There are times when you get suckered in by drugs and alchohol and sex with women, m'kay.
But it's when you do these things too much that you've become an addict and must get back in touch.
You can do it, it's all up to you, m'kay...
With a little plan you can change your life today.
You don't have to spend your life addicted to Smack,
Homeless on the streets giving hand jobs for cash,
Follow my plan and very soon you will say...
It's easy, m'kaaaayy...

Step one: instead of ass say buns, like "Kiss my buns!" or "You're a bunshole!"
Step two: instead of shit say poo, as in "Bullpoo!", "Poohead!" and "This poo is cold."
Step three: with bitch drop the T cause bich is Latin for generosity!
Step four: don't say fuck anymore, cause fuck is the worst word that you can say, so just use the word m'kay!

We can do it, it's all up to us, m'kay...
With a little plan we can change our lives today.
We don't have to spend our lives shooting up in the trash,
Homeless on the street giving hand jobs for cash,
Follow this plan and very soon you will say,
It's easy, m'kaaaayy...

Step one!
Instead of ass say buns!
Like "Kiss my buns!"
Or "You're a bunshole!"
Step two!
Instead of shit say poo!
As in "Bullpoo!"
"Poohead!"
And "This poo is cold!"
Step three!
With bitch drop the T cause bich is Latin for generosity!
Step four!
Don't say fuck anymore, cause fuck is the worst word that youcan say, fuck is the worst word that you can say, we shouldn't say fuck, no we shouldn't say fuck, fuck no!
You're cured! You can go!

We don't have to spend our lives shooting up in the trash,
Homeless on the street giving hand jobs for cash,
Follow this plan and very soon you will say,
It's easy, m'kaaaayy...
It's easy m'kay!
It's easy m'kay!
It's easy mmm... It's easy mmm... It's easy m'kay!!!!!

Blame Canada
Times have changed
Our kids are getting worse
They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curse!

Should we blame the government?
Or blame society?
Or should we blame the images on TV?

NO!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
With all their beady little eyes and flapping heads so full of lies!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
We need to form a full assault!
It's Canada's fault!

Don't blame me for my son, Stan.
He saw the darn cartoon and now he's off to join the Klan.

And my boy, Eric, once had my picture on his shelf.
But now when I see him he tells me to fuck myself.

WELL...
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along.
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
They're not even a real country anway.

My son could have been a doctor or a lawyer, it's true.
Instead he burned up like a piggy on a barbecue.
Should we blame the matches?
Should we blame the fire?
Or the doctors who allowed him to expire?

HECK NO!
Blame Canada!
Blame Canada!
With all their hockey-hullabaloo,
And that bitch Anne Murray too,
Blame Canada!
Shame on Canada, foooor...
The smut we must cut,
The trash we must bash,
The laughter and fun must all be undone!
We must blame them and cause a fuss before somebody thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuus!

Kyle's Mom is A Bitch
Well, Kyle's mom's a bitch,
She's a big fat bitch.
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world.
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls!

On Monday she's a bitch, on Tuesday she's a bitch...
Wednesday through Saturday, she's a bitch!
Then on Sunday just to be different,
She's a super King Kamehameha bi-ach!

Have you ever met my friend, Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world!
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,
She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch...
Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch...
She's a stupid bitch! Kyle's mom's a bitch,
And she's just a dirty bitch!
Talk to kids around the world, it might go a little bit something like this...

(French)
(Dutch)
(Chinese)
(Swahili)

Have you ever met my friend, Kyle's mom?
She's the bigest bitch in the whole wide world!
She's a mean old bitch and she has stupid hair,
She's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch...
Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch...
She's a stupid bitch! Kyle's mom's a bitch,
And she's just a dirty bitch!
I really mean it!
Kyle's mom... she's a big fat fucking bitch...
Big old fat fuckig bitch! Kyle's mom... yeah! Bi-cha!

What Would Brian Boitano Do?
What would Brian Boitano do if he were here right now?
He'd make a plan and he'd follow through!
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the gold,
He did two Salchows and a triple Lutz wearing a blindfold!

And when Brian Boitano was in the Alps,
Fighting Grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath,
And save the maidens fair!

So what would Brain Boitano do if he were here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Brain Boitano'd do!

I want this V-chip out of me.
It has stunted my vocabulary.

And I just want my mom to stop fighting everyone.

For Wendy I'll be an activist too, cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

And what would Brian Boitano do?
He'd call the kids in town
And tell them to unite for true!
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010,
He fought the evil robot king and saved the human race again!

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids he beat up Kublai Kahn!

Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from aaaaaanyyyyybooooodyyyy!

So let's all get together!
And unite to stop our moms!
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too!
Cause that's what Brain Boitano'd dooooooooooooooooooo...
Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

More movie lyrics coming soon!
Please note: These are Soundtrack versions, not movie versions.


If you know any show lyrics that I haven't posted, please send them to me at RCBeefcake@aol.com ! And please, don't send any movie lyrics. I know them, I just haven't gotten to posting them. Thanks!