1/15/98

So much has happened I don't even know where to start. With this trusty computer where I spend "all" my free time plus some time that's not free- I found my Birth family. I've gotta tell you the "whole" story step by step if I can. I was in shock at 1st.

On or about Dec. 29th I was searching through one of the many on-line adoption registries. I came across 2 interesting inquiries to make. The registry was kind of confusing Adoptee's on the top and Birth families on the bottom. When you click on them to make an inquiry it sends you right to E-mail. So I sent an E-mail to each. Asking who they were looking for an Adoptee or a Birth parent. A few days I got a letter back from one of the inquiries I made saying I am looking for an adoptee why?

This is all the registry said: Female 07/19/69 Rochester

Keep in mind my B-day is 7/9/69.

So, anyway I wrote her back explaining why I made the inquiry. When she wrote back she mentioned she was adopted I knew she was my B-mother! I just knew it I started yelling to Leon 1st thing when we got up. That is when I got the letter. I said "wholly shit" I found her Oh my God Oh my god. Anyway I wrote her back explaining that our info. We had was too similar except for the Birthday perhaps she should call me giving her my phone #. So then the waiting begins what a long day...... She didn't E-mail me back. So impatiently waiting I jumped back on the pc and asked my two closest on-line friends for help finding the phone # with only the E-mail address to go by: paj4@cornell.edu. And her name Pat Janhonen.

The mad search for a phone # begins .... we found a few #'s within the vicinity of Cornell. So I started calling. ONE WAS A DEAD END. The 2nd one I got an answering machine. The 3rd one was her Mother-in-law. I told her we'd been communicating through the internet and I had some info. To share with her. She gave me her phone # at work (I thought it was her home #) anyway .... I called work she had left at 1:00 PM and it was about 4:00 PM so I asked the guy who answered the phone if she'd be back and he said he didn't expect her. Come to find out that was her boss. So I told him pretty much the same thing I told her mother-in-law and by chance he gave me her home phone #. So I called I got an answer machine. I left a message saying that I was Katie Moses and that we had been communicating via E-mail left my phone # and said I had a few questions for her. 9:40 PM still no phone call. One of my on-line friends asked if she could call on the regular phone. I told her yes. We had been chatting back and forth on the Internet through the course of the day.

She's from Arkansas what an accent she sounds different then she types. After chatting w/ her on the regular phone she said well it's 10:40 here so I know its 9:40 there you've got a phone call to make. I told her I thought it was too late. She said if it was me I'd tell her to be obnoxious and call again so girl follow your own advice. She said sit down chill out a second smoke a cigarette and call!

So that is what I did. I called and a man answered I asked for Pat he said just a second. She got on the phone. I told her we'd been communicating via E-mail and she said yes you are Katie Moses. I said yes. I told her what I had wrote in the last E-mail message to her and asked her if I could be forward enough and ask where she relinquished her child. She proceeded to tell me she lived at a home for un-wed mothers behind the hospital. That matched that would be North Haven then I asked her where she had the child. I had been told I was most likely born at Rochester General but had no proof. She said she had the baby at Rochester General. So far too many coincidences. I had just recently while I was pregnant with Little Katie requested my medical info. From Hillside Children's Center who took over for North Haven. I got it back when Katie was 1st born.(6/2/97)

It stated Birth mother was also adopted as an infant. Her health has been good. She has allergies to animal hair, ragweed, goldenrod, pollen, dust , and to Tetanus. I asked her if she had allergies? She said yes to animal hair, dust, pollen and I interrupted and said to goldenrod, ragweed and to tetanus. She said "wholly shit". So we went on to compare info. What little we had and decided maybe we should meet. She said I have 2 whole 100% Brothers one was born 13 mos. after I, his name is Bill, and one that was born 4 yrs. later, his name is John.

She has lived "around" Ithaca all her life. Her parents sent her away to the home in Rochester so she wouldn't be a disgrace to the family and told her, her only choice was to give me up. That was the right thing to do. So she did. Her parents forbid her from seeing my birth father so she didn't for 4 mos. Then she started seeing him again and got pregnant with my brother. She married my Birth father and had my 1st brother (She was 16 when she had me).

She asked me if I would like her to contact my Birth father for me. I told her Yes. They had only stayed married 6 yrs. But because of the 2 boys she had contact with him when she "had" to. So after talking for an hour or so we got off the phone and she said she would call me the next morning around 10:00 AM and we could set-up something to meet if I wanted to. I told her Yes. She called me that next morning at 10:00 AM on the nose as she had promised to. We chatted for a bit and I asked her if she had pictures scanned in on her computer and she said No. I told her I did and I wanted to send her one via E-mail before the big meet seeing as though the only thing that didn't match was the Birthday. I didn't want either of us to go through the trauma if I wasn't hers.

I had learned through the course of my search the "Birth date" wasn't always accurate for different reasons. So I told her I would send the picture even though it wasn't fair cause she wasn't sending one. She had to get off the phone in order to get the picture through E-mail. So I made her promise to call me as soon as she got it and was still surprised. She promised she would. And she did.

She called back seemed like hours later. She said I look just like her boys, she said you are mine. It's time to meet. So we decided to meet in Canandaigua at Ponderosa, that same evening. She made the calls to my brothers and my birth father for me. We Leon, Jes, James, Kalie, Katie, Penny (Leon's sister and one of my strong support systems through my search) and I headed out to Canandaigua. The 40 minute ride seemed like an eternity. We had to stop at Walmart for film for my camera and a blank video for Penny's camcorder. Then we had to stop at Wegman's I wanted to buy them each a rose.

Then we found ourselves at Ponderosa for the 1st meeting. An experience I think we will all treasure for life. I arrived 1st then my birth mother and younger brother. My birth mother brought her present husband, his name is John, and my younger brother brought his girl friend, her name is Tina they have been dating for 7 yrs. Then my birth father arrived and he brought his girlfriend Nina they have been dating for 2 mos. Then my brother Bill arrived with his wife Sara and their 2 mos. Old daughter Julia (I have a 2 month. Old niece) they have dated for 8 yrs. I'm not sure how long they have been married-yet.

My birth mother asked, when we finally noticed each other, thanks to Penny noticing a strong resemblance and giving me a gentle shove in their direction if I was sure I was theirs (at that time the only ones who had arrived were my birth mother and youngest brother I replied with I don't know. I was still in shock. We all needed to sit down before we could handle actually ordering. I had called ahead of time because I kind of figured. So we all sat down, by this time everyone else had arrived, we all kind of sat and starred at each other. Then we all went up to order. My birth mom's husband paid for everyone. I thought that was real nice. We all kind of made small talk as there was too many of us to have a deep conversation.

It was a wonderful experience. That night nobody called and the next day nobody called. I was starting to get kind of worried so I called Pat my B-mom and asked her what was wrong and she said everyone had called her and didn't want to bother me. They figured I might need sometime to let it all sink in. Mean while I was thinking why haven't they called. So after we talked for awhile her and I hung up and the phone calls started. They all called. We have stayed in fairly close contact since. A few days later my two brothers came over to visit with their significant others. So we could kind of get to know each other. A few days after that we Leon, Kalie, Katie and I ventured out there way to meet the rest of the family. We enjoyed our visit and over night out there and were in no hurry to leave and come home except that we had to.

My younger brother John and his girlfriend came to visit this last weekend. He has called just about every night since I found them. He figured it was cheaper to drive here than the phone call would be. Which is true. I hear from some of them everyday. My Birth mom Pat E-mails me just about everyday. Sara Bill's wife E-mails me just about everyday. My Birth father doesn't like the phone but I hear from him every few days, if I don't I call him.

My two brothers didn't find out about me until my B-mom was searching for her Birth parents 6 years ago. They have wanted to find me ever since. My birth father, come to find out, ran away from home the night I was born and hid under a car in the parking lot of the hospital I was born.

This Sunday the2 families meet that may or may not be another chapter.

The kids are handling the whole situation GREAT I prepared them for the day during each process of my search- one good idea I have had

Questions, Comments, Suggestions, Email: katiec1@frontiernet.net
This page was updated on May 30, 1998 by William S. White.