Lustful Desires

Chapter 10: Undesired

I feel like I am in the losers dateless section at the worst school dance.
Hello! I exist, you won't be sorry if only I was given a chance.
Everyone else in the world gets picked without any hesitation from the boys.
And here I sit and not even a glance from anyone; guess I am better off with a toy.
Why is it I can't spark someone's interest? Why can't I light someone's fire?
What is it about the way I look or how I am that makes me undesired?

Why is a hand offered only after the hurt and pain I endured?
And once the pain is gone and I take their hand, they abandon me and I feel unassured.
All the inner demons I fought, all that work and effort to evolve.
And all for what? A touch of a hand and before I know it, the hand dissolved.
It doesn't seem to matter who I am as a person, men are such liars.
What is it about my mind or my spirit that makes me so undesired?

Am I making the wrong choices? What is it about the men I have chosen?
Why is it that within a kiss of my lips, what once was turns into poison?
Maybe I do make the men sorry. Maybe I do belong in the loser's dateless section.
Maybe I don't deserve chances. Maybe they had wounds and I caused an infection.
There was always some obstacles, from other women to long distance, I can't seem to lift anyone's spirits higher.
Is this my doomed fate? Will I ever mean something to someone or will I forever be undesired?

I am very sensitive, I have a heart and I really do care.
I am also a very honest and a loyal faithful person. I swear!
But after being so understanding to people all I get back is neglect.
And now I am all alone again with this powerful feeling of regret.
It seems like being myself has drained my soul and my mind is tired.
I guess my path is to be the sad loner, which sucks, but let's face it, I will always be undesired.

~FIREBIRD
03/12/05
Š2005. All Rights Reserved.

More to come as soon as things happen.

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