I grew up being looked down on,
as if i should be ashamed,
And I aslo grew up with tears
in my eyes filles with pain.
I've always had this pain of sorrow,
not always looking forward to what destiny will bring to me tomorrow.
The gloomy clouds of childhood are gone,
only to be in a modern dark ages that my life has begun.
I can smile, laugh and crack as many jokes as I want,
but deep down, I truly knew I wasn't happy.
I've always felt hurt,
one thing after the next,
But I have to remember that for myself,
I know what's best.
Those tormenting words that etched my thoughts,
was also the words that burned my heart.
I respected my mother for everything she had to put up with,
but shamefully, I hated her for everything she was.
I built myself a sheild to protect myself from my personal battles,
but only a few battles, I have won in my mind,
but lost most battles and suffered severe consequences.
Many people see me as a child,
innocent and not seeing my scars and wounds,
But i am Twenty, going on Forty-Five,
passing beyond the maturing stage.
The pain gave me maturity,
which is not the way i wanted to blossom,
And I have grown with wisdom older than meets the eye,
that was trapped throughout the years of young darkness.
~12/01/97
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