Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery


1) Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

2) "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

3) Bo! Bo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!

4) Man, this sucks.

5) Damn it, Jim. I'm a surgeon, not a coroner!

6) Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

7) Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

8) Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

9) Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

10) Who's been sipping from the anesthetic bottle again?

11) Your scalpel-hand is shaking, Johnson.

12) There go the lights again...

13) Quick! Call the plastic surgeon before it stays this way!

14) Ya know, there's big money in kidneys.. and this guy's got two of 'em.

15) Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

16) Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

17) What's this doing here?

18) I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

19) That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

20) Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

21) Steril, shcmeril. The floor's clean, right?

22) What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!

23) OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

24) This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

25) Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

26) Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

27) What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

28) FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

29) Darn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!