Parenting Wisdom 2: Thoughts From Parents On The Question Of The Week...

Thoughts about "What parents tell their children."

Comments: "We should all look at our children as "soulmates" I have found that I love my children and enjoy them, when I look at them as gifts from God. We can all cultivate happiness and friendship when we use good communication, respect for others, and love and patience! So go ahead and start cultivating a great relationship with your children today and reap the rewards of what they give us!" --D.E. Gonzales

Comments: "A saying I often tell to my children: Be kind to others, treat others as you would have them treat you, and in the process don't forget to treat yourself with that same kindness!" --Laura Yard

Comments: "My words of wisdom for my little monsters are very simple. Perhaps too simple. I always stress to them to listen to their heart. I also tell them that if something does not feel right to them, then it is NOT right for them. Sometimes we make mistakes in our lives and wonder why on earth we did them. I tell my children that I did that so many times in the past and there is nothing wrong with looking back at them. BUT to always keep in mind that each mistake is like a brick on your path. They never go away, can withstand every storm but you will always see them in the distance." --Paula (aka Poo)

Hate Crimes & Discrimination: How Do You Teach Your Child(ren) From Getting Caught Up In This?

Comments: "One way I keep my children from being caught up in racism and hatred,is to be an EXAMPLE to them. If my children see me take the hand of a person who is different, whether by race, creed, religion, handicap, etc. then they won't have to be afraid to accept a person for who that person is no matter what the difference. If you teach your children to hate, they will hate. Sometimes to their own detriment. If you teach them love and acceptance, they will love and accept. In turn, they will be loved and accepted. I know the world is harsh, but I still have to believe this is true. I have to belive in a better more just world for my kids. That is the only way to live." -- R. Coxsey

Comments: "With all the hate crime and racism out there I am both pleased and upset to announce that up until just 2 months ago my children (I have 4 sons!) aged 11, 10, 9, 7 1/2 didn't even know the "N" word or what it meant. It wasn't until somebodys child called my son a white"N" at school. I then had to sit down and explain that there are people out in the world who judge people solely by the color of their skin. Our home is colorblind....race blind...religion blind....ethnicity curious. We believe the only way to know about the world is through education and experience... PARENTS LET YOUR CHILDREN LEARN ABOUT THEIR FRIENDS, BY ALLOWING THEM TO VISIT HOMES, GO TO CHURCES, TASTE "DIFFERENT" FOODS AND PUT THEMSELVES IN ANOTHERS SHOES. DO NOT FEAR THAT WHICH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND- EDUCATE YOURSELF AND OTHERS THEN THERE IS NOTHING AT ALL TO FEAR!!!" -- Ann Marie Bernard

Comments: "I try to teach by example. Sometimes I'll point out differences and talk about them. One thing I find myself saying quite a bit is "you are no better than anyone else". There are so many influences, kids in middle school can be so mean. My son keeps using the expression "that's gay" for something he doesn't like, I realize it is popular slang at the moment but it certainly isn't acceptable. You've put together a great resource, thanks" -- Cyndy Roy

Comments: "besides the fact that we've lived in diverse neighborhoods since my kids were small, i try very hard to teach them empathy. my son has "invisible" disabilities and some visible differences, so he has been picked on a lot, and my daughter has had to put up with a lot of rude questions from kids who needed better home training. so when i hear remarks about how fat or ugly someone is, even "joking" remarks, i remind them of a quote i saw recently from a young woman with williams syndrome (a form of retardation that disables math and spatial areas but also involves unusual ability with music and words): "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can shatter my heart." i am heartbroken that "all in the family" is on tv again, on cable. i believe that show, which was intended as satire, made bigotry more acceptable again. children won't get the satire - especially since it's more subtle than things like "the simpsons," and another generation will be tainted." -- Ellen

Comments: "I would talk to them asking them "what it really means to be created equal"?" -- Lloyd Klefstad

Comments: "To answer your question: I teadh my children (9, 6, 3, all girls) that people are people no matter if they are different from them or not. I try to get books for them about people with disabilities and teach them that these people are no different they just have different challenges in life. I remind them of the "golden rule" treat others as you would have them treat you. I try to live my own life the same way in hopes that my children will learn from my example." -- Judith McGinnis

Comments: "(from SPOL) I try to teach my kids to think about things from the other persons perspective, and not just consider their own feelings." -- Stuart

Comments: "Having grown up in the deep south with a very discriminating father, I have seen the relentless effects of discrimination, first hand, from both sides of the fence and have never relished the results. Fortunately, even as a child, I have always started any new relationship at zero base and let the individual's contributions of words and actions add to or subtract from our relationship. When I have a pre-assumed believe about a person on our first meeting, I surpress that thought and start at zero. Taught my son and daughter the same initial neutral people process and they have adopted it into their own life styles. It allows one to treat others initially as they wish to be treated, and through the words and actions of the other person we learn whether we should stay, leave or run. Great Job Debbie" -- CC-Russ... :-)))

Comments: "As always, very thought provoking question Debbers. I have always taught my children to live with their eyes open. My son is still too young but my daughter has definately shown that she accepts people for more than their outer layer, thank goodness. Just recently she became friends with a student that was different from her and she would come home livid because the other kids made fun of her "brown" skin. I have told her many times that it would be easy to discriminate blondes in this world. Or overweight people. OR people that wear red. You see, it is easy to be among a minority if you look at it in simpler terms. The only way that I will know if my teachings worked is to follow my childs path years from now. I hope that I have succeeded." -- Paula

Comments: "I find myself very confused and sad when I hear about people taking it upon themselves to do harm to someone that doesn't look like them, act like them or have the same beliefs as them. I find it even more confusing and sad that children or young people are the ones doing these types of things. I believe one of the most important things parents can teach their children and starting it while they are very young is that EVERYONE in this world are different. I believe it's very important that children learn that people are people and that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and care. If you don't like something someone does, there isn't any law saying you have to do the same. I also believe that how we as parents act around people or what we have to say about people or what we have to say to others, has a very large impact on our children. I don't believe there will ever be a solution to solving discrimination because it's always going to be there, but if we want to make changes in that, we need to start with our children when they are young. To teach them that difference is plain and simply okay can be a very important lesson to be learned. Difference is what makes the world go around, difference is how we learn and how we grow." -- Debbie (me)

I also ask people to share their favorite quotes or a thought of their own when they go to my guestbook and here are some of them!

Quote/Thought: "The woman who creates and sustains a home, and under whose hands children grow up to be strong and pure men and women, is a creator second only to God." --Barbara

Quote/Thought: "In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family, be completely present." --Tao Te Ching *A quote Fran Hladinec likes

Quote/Thought: "Cleaning your house while the kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing." (Phyllis Diller) --Ali