Family...
My dad arrived with my lil bro and sis today...wow...itz been 4eva since I've seen them...my little sister was just graduating grade school...now she's a freshman in college...I feel so old! lol! Too bad I'm working tonight...would be nice to spend more time with them given that they're only here till the 26th. Oh well...I have all day tomorrow and Christmas at least! Itz nice to have family around...this is the second largest gathering we've had since Javier and Veronica graduated in '99...let the festivities begin!

The Devil...
The devil's doin OT in '03
Tryina take control of me
Pilin on the stress like crazy
Thinkin I will break
That was his mistake
Cause each problem he brings I take to Jesus
And though things may seem real serious
I know He'll never leave us
So I close my eyes and breathe
And not surprisingly the weight's relieved
To those of you that are feeling stressed
At the end of your rope, life's just a mess
I have a secret to happiness
So listen up real close
Adopt the Christian motto
Give it to God and just let go
Sweet joy and love you'll come to know
When all is put in His hands.

Yall Gon Speak Chinese....
I heard the Jin track for the first time the other day...first of all...the beat is off the HOOK...reminded me of Wu days...he pretty funny too...kinda like a yellow Em...I still remember how he tore it up on 106 & Park's battle (I only watch it on Fridays for that reason...so don't go thinkin I'm into AJ and Free like dat...lol) The hook made me think on somethin though...

Why is it I seem to always have to translate what chinese folks are saying to my non-Canadian friends? I mean...I know we have a lot of asian folks up here...but damn...some of them aint got accents THAT thick that you cant understand them. Even when I'm in the states and I happen to go to a chinese restaurant with my friends they be on some "huh? what'd you say?"

Now that I think of it...I have to translate what my American people say for some of my Canadian peeps...lol...shitz wild...I'm like a cultural translator or somethin...

In closing, I'd like to say...

whuddup doe, whatz really good, wha gwan, comment ça va, que hay de leugo, and in honor of Jin...coneechi wa

Birthdays...
Yesterday was my birthday, and it was truly blessed. It started off with the best birthday present in the world...7 hrs of sleep, courtesy of my baby girl! I had the pleasure of spending it with my family...something I haven't done in a few years because my folks normally head down south for the winter. Even got a few laughs along the way...but that's another story...

Today's my mom's birthday (that's right, I was her early birthday present...lol)...so let the festivities continue!

I took a quiz I found on my girl Cha's page and I found out that I'm....

ALICIA KEYS: Ah, the talented Ms. Keys. You
are an extremely intelligent girl who has a
knack for creativity. You are focused on your
career and education and excel at it. You are
what people say, street, but sweet. A boughetto
chick who can hang with the girls and ball with
the guys anyday. You are a one-woman show and
you're out to change the world. Watch
out.

Which female R&B artist are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Anyway, I'm off...as part of my b-day present, my mom is watching Kira so I can go get my hair done! And the gifts keep coming....

Trip to the mall...
I found out what it meant to be a mom yesterday...I took Kira to the mall to see Santa...she was all dressed up in a cute red velour dress with matching booties, lookin TOO cute! Everything was going fine until this "speshal" child ahead of us in line started askin me all these questions about what she wants for Christmas and tried to touch my child...and that's when my maternal instincts kicked in. My mind instantly thought on the countless number of germs crawling on his grubby lil fingertips...and I found myself instinctively pulling my child closer to me...just out of his grasp. I was seriously on some "where's your mama?" tip...but I hadta play it off, smile, and pray that this kid would find some other interesting person to interrogate...lol!

Santa went off without a hitch...my baby didnt even cry! She just kinda looked at Santa like "who is you?" and after the picture was taken...went to sleep.

All in all today was a good day...I love the holiday season!

I was lied to...
Yesterday, the weatherman looked at me from the other side of my tv screen, in a nice suit, hair just right...and told me that I could expect rain and light flurries today...I woke up this mornin to a foot of snow covering my car...what about that is light?!?! The snow on the power lines were so heavy that we had a black out...sounds like them flurries need to hit tha gym or somethin! I had so much stuff planned for today...Christmas shopping...baby pictures...none of which got done cause I gotta shovel my car out from under a huge ass snow drift (oh yeah...the weatherman forgot to mention WIND too). In short...I would like to say YOU LIED MISTER WEATHERMAN...and I dont appreciate bein lied to!

Viagara has GOT to go...
Afta talkin with a few of my girlz I recently discovered that men are becoming TOO brave...I cant count tha numba of times wrinkly old men have tried to holla...thinkin that I'ma roll with them jus cause they got a sex drive again...can we say EW?!?! So in honour of the pedophile comeback...I've written a poem...

Old Man be Gone

Wrinkly old man, please leave me alone
This young woman aint interested in your old bone
Don't care if you can get it up cause of some blue pill
I'm not interested in experiencin 70 years worth of skill
I don't want an old man who thinks he can jive
With a skeletal body and barely alive
I don't care if you're rich, caring or sweet
I'm with Obie on this one, you gotta have teeth!
If you're as old as my daddy or beyond him in years
Just keep on steppin, your game aint welcome here
So wrinkly old man, get tha hell on
Quit wastin tha time you got left, you aint gettin none!

Welcome to the Neo-Matrix...
For those that know me...this is my new blog (the old one can be seen HERE)

Though 2003 was supposed to be my year...it was filled with constant drama...and as it draws to an end I've come to realize that it has been one extremely long lesson: there are/were a lot of things and people I need to remove from my life in order to be the person God meant for me to be. Hence the title Neo-Matrix...the wool has finally been lifted from my eyes and I am seeing things in 20/20. Life is beyond a computer program...it's a game (represented by dudes to the left..lol)...and until recently, the Devil was whoopin my ass. Well all that is over now. I have a new perspective on life and with that, many revelations, the first of which is that I am never alone...and so with that in mind...I'd like to share a poem about a situation that arose recently in my life...


She's Mine

She was ours but now she's mine
Sent by powers divine
My little ray of sunshine
She saved me from the storm
Taught me that it wasn't a body I needed to keep me warm
But love
Not the kind found it magazines
In romance novels or on tv
But in the B-I-B-L-E
That's sent from up above

She made me see that all the mess I put up with
The death threats, the busted lip
The countless times that you would trip
Over things that were never there
Were tools used by the man in red
Ruler of the place where the unsaved head
Once life is done and they are dead
In his grasp we were, I am aware

Yet when you held knives to babygirl
The light shone in, I saw the word
And the devil's hold became unfurled
God's grace rained down on me
What once was ours is mine alone
You gave up your rights last week in my home
Put her at risk, I can't condone
You being her D-A-D





Looking back...the signs are clear...we weren't meant to be...you were a means to facilitate an end...baby girl wouldnt be here without you...but we don't need you in our lives anymore...Redanger_187..."RED-DANGER," RED-ANGER...either one describe you to a tee...but I'll be damn if you gon 187 me or baby girl...peace