Aidan's Funny Picture, Joke and Animation Page
Below are some pics of things I like and there are more on the way:
Keeping Pesky Trespassers Away:
Did your doorbell ring during the Jerry's Kids Marathon? Outsiders getting under your skin? Here are some helpful tips to drive four types of trespassers away.
Step 1, The Outfit: The right look can do wonders. apply talic liberally, then don skintight black leather from head to toe, including a gimp mask(remember to unzip the eye slits!) with a shotgun or machete, charge at the front door screaming cuss words and dribling spittle.
Step 2, Keep away the Jehova's Witnesses: Prepare for the "Watchtower" peddlers by opening up a window, cranking up the theme from the Omen, and lighting candles or foul smelling incense(try patchouli.) For those extra persistent religious types, nail a lamb's heart to your front door.
Step 3, keeping away the Girl Guides: A Hungry Man TV dinner, or a mix of dough, skin flakes and raisins? Dissuade Girl Guides from selling their cookies by fashioning the decapitated Head of Orlando Bloom on your front lawn, on a stake.
Step 4, The Boy and his ball: Some tyke smashed your conservatory window with a football and is shimmying up your compound to retrieve it, is he? The outrage! Preempt this enroachment by placing grass-covered bear-traps along your wall perimeter.
Step 5, The Salesman: Force hawkers to peddle their wares elsewere by haphazardly strewing your path with fake severed limbs, building a blood-red kennel, and shouting, "Sick'em, Cujo!" when you hear that gate latch click, they can take that aluminum siding elsewere.
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