Yup, theres more!

This is a bust!
Bernie Carson filed a $200,000 personal injury lawsuit against P.T.'s Show Club, claiming Busty Heart, a performer at the Bellevile, IL, strip club, caused him "emotional distress, mental anguish and indignity" when she slammed her large breasts into his neck and head. Carson also insisted he was "bruised, confused, lacerated and made sore" by Heart's 88-inch chest. Her breasts reportedly weigh 40 pounds each.
Caught with his pants down
New York computer company owner Raviv Laor, 27, filed a $12 million lawsuit against Air France after crew members, responding to a smoke detector alarm on the non-smoking flight, smashed open the aircraft's lav- atory door, pulled him off the toilet and accused him of smoking on the flight. "It turned out the alarm was defective," Laor's attorney said, noting Loar had his pants and underpants down and was "in the process of going to the bathroom" when he "was viciously assaulted and physically attacked by several crew members who pulled him naked outside the bathroom exposing his genitals and other private body parts to seated passengers."
Clowning around
Real estate investor Paul Peskin, 30, was looking over an abandoned bank in Richmond Hill, GA, when he found a package of bills in an open vault. He slipped the money in his pocket, not knowing it was a decoy that tellers give to bank robbers. It exploded, covering him in red dye and an irritant like tear gas. Peskin ran outside to the truck he had borrowed from a friend who moonlights as a clown, and put on a clown suit to keep the truck clean. The dye apparently irritated Peskin so much that he jumped out of the truck and ran toward First Bank ofCoastal Georgia, where employees, seeing a man in a clown suit coveredwith red dye running at them, alerted police to a possible robbery. After listening to Peskin's story, Police Chief Billy Reynolds said no charges were filed, adding, "Nothing this unusual has ever occured that I can remember."
Table pinched his privates
DETROIT -- A man who went to a chiropractic clinic last month for treatment of a sore back ended up with another kind of pain when he got his genitals caught in a folding exam table. Now, James Van........is suing seeking damages for pain and suffering, disfigurement and for consequential damages -- such as the lack of sexual performance or enjoyment. He said he went to the clinic and the chiropractor had him take off his clothes and lie face down on a table. He said hid genitals fell between two parts of the table, and when the chiropractor adjusted the table, he got caught! "I got off of the table and I went down to my knees," A clinic employee drove him to a hospital, where a small part ofdamaged skin had to be removed. His lawyer expects a settlement to the lawsuit to exceed "six figures."
Driving forces
Shulamit Dezhin, 82, passed her driver's test in Ashdod, Israel, after 35 failures. She originally wanted her license so she could visit her parents in Tel Aviv, but she took so long that they died first.
Wrong place at the wrong time
Four men in a truck forced a car off the road near Warsaw and demanded money from the occupants, Konstantin Vaigin and Gennady Ramensky. The two men are coaches of the Russian and Belarussian biathlete teams that had just competed in the world championships in Slovakia and were riding ahead of the bus carrying their teams. They stalled the robbers until the bus rolled up. Seeing what was happening, the athletes grabbed the rifles they use in their sport and began loading them, according to the ITAR- Tass news agency, which reported the attackers "were seen running away for all they were worth."
I hope his mouth was closed
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly -- and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. "It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen."
Couple gave counseling a shot
A husband and wife pulled guns on each other and shot it out at church during a marriage counseling session after he arrived late, drinking a beer. Both were wounded. With a beer in one hand and a gun in the other, Michael Martin shot his wife as she tried to walk out of the meeting at St. James Episcopal Cathedral, their counselorsaid. A bleeding Bonnie Martin pulled a pistol from her purse and shot her husband in the shoulder. The two took the gunbattle outside, where Bonnie Martin collapsed and was fired on again. Michael Martin allegedly hit his wife at least once more before he ran out of bullets. "They were arguing. It was your typical domestic dispute. Then the fireworks started. It's a good thing that he had been drinking because he could have hit her more," said the Rev. Bud Searcy. He was a lousy shot."
Weird World News.
One of Switzerlands intellectual stars, Johan Unterwald, described by college professors as "the next Albert Einstein", made a fatal math error when he took a 250 ft. bungee jump with a 300 foot bungee cord... He died on impact.
Matthew Sez
In Lansing, Michigan, 3 naked women, smeared from head to toes with mustard, hijacked a UPS truck. When stopped by the police they explained that they were trying to reach the Garden of Eden. They had mustard all over them because it was "written in the book of Matthew". They had no explanation for using the truck...
Safe Driving
A man in Syracuse, New York, was captured after a 30 minute car chase, and charged with grand larceny and several other crimes. An officer said that it was easy to catch the man because, despite many route changes during the chase, he never failed to signal a turn...
E-z Money
London, UK. A woman asked a ten pound note at an ATM machine, but it spit out a 20 pound note instead. Instead of informing the bank, the woman spread the news by mobile phone -shoppers doubled their money for about five hours before police were called to the machine.
It's only right
Orlando, Florida. Thomas Provenzano was convicted in the murder of a courtroom bailiff, but his execution was delayed after Provenzano proclaimed that he is Jesus Christ, indicating possible mental illness. State Rep. Howard Futch, angry about the delay, asked his colleagues: "If he thinks he's Jesus Christ, why don't we just crucify him? I'd make him a cross and we could take it out there to [death row] and nail him up."
Behind it time
Dresden, Germany. A man entering a bank, wearing a mask and carrying a gun, was told by several people working there that the bank had moved out several days earlier. The bandit left empty-handed, and completely amazed, according to a police spokesman.
Sniffle
Frederick the Great, to break his Prussian soldiers of wiping their noses on their uniform sleeves, had roughcast bronze buttons sewn on all the sleeves.
Touch Luck
Roger Russell, a South African miner, set out for a second time this week on a planned eight-month trek from Cape Town to Pretoria and back. Russell's marathon trek, was intended to raise awareness of crime and highlight the huge task facing police in fighting crime in a country with 25,000 murders a year and a rape reported every 12 minutes. Just 12 miles into his 2,600 mile walk he was robbed at gunpoint by five men last Tuesday just east of Cape Town airport...
Excuse me miss,this isn't a nude beach, sstep over here with ME please.
Rio De Janeiro - A 23 year old Brazilian law student bought a $14 bikini in a clothing store , but when she jumped into the water she suddenly realized that the bikini had turned see-through. She sued the store, and the courts ruled that the clothing store must pay the asker $14 -the price of the swimsuit -and another $267 for moral damages.
Condtional love
A man in California came home with a nice bouquet of flowers for his wife. Unfortunately she thought they were too expensive and assaulted him with a knife. "She didn't think he should have spent that kind of money on flowers," the prosecutor told the media.
188 south street please
Tomah, Wis. A robber entered a restaurant, threatened 2 female employees and ordered them to open a safe containing $1,200. He then hailed a cab and went home. Minutes later the taxi driver provided police with a description of the alleged bandit and the address where he took him...
Diamond excreting chicken
Beijing, China. Farmer Li Yunzhong found a 1.2 carat diamond while eating a chicken. He sold the diamond to the government for more than 3 times his normal annual income. How the stone got in the chicken is anybody's guess.
Let me have a look at that
Vidal Herrera's (Los Angeles) van says a lot about the man. "1-800-Autopsy" is emblazoned on the side. The vanity plate reads "YSPOTUA" -that's autopsy spelled backward. And his license plate frame offers this advice: "Autopsy techs do it with more rigor mortis."
Buried Alive well sorta
Buenos Aires - Mario Paz, 25, finding no room inside the passenger bus, clambered onto the roof in the northern province of Santiago del Estero. Also on the roof was a coffin belonging to a local funeral company. When Mario saw the coffin cover move and heard a voice coming from the coffin ask "Is it cold, sir?" he jumped from the moving bus, breaking an arm and a leg. Turns out that another passenger had climbed onto the roof and then, to escape wintry weather, had lain down in the coffin.
the new year 2000 coupons
In Dublin, Ireland, the budget airline Ryanair drew fire from airline officials when it ran a newspaper advertisement that included a photograph of a recently hijacked Sudan Airways jet, along with the caption, "It's amazing what lengths people will go to, to fly cheaper than Ryanair."
Your going to obidience training!
In New York City, a boy preparing to feed a live chicken to his 44-pound pet python was killed after the snake apparently mistook him for the food and coiled around him instead.
You can't win if you don't play
The life of a Harrisburg, Pa., man was saved when moments after he bought 40 lottery tickets, he stepped out on the street and a stray bullet from a nearby gang fight glanced off the wad of tickets in his shirt pocket.
Are you ready to R-U-M-B-L-E?!?!?!?!?
A 90 year old nursing home resident in Australia has been charged with the murder of a female nurse attendant. Ms. Winchester allegedly beat the nurse to death with her cane because she wouldn't let her watch wrestling on television in the rec room.
Something fishy
Barnstable, Mass. - A whale-watch boat that had been showing off the animals to hundreds of passengers was on its way back to the harbor when it collided with a 20-foot whale and killed it. Passengers said the whale's body was bloody when it emerged in the boat's wake. Josef Treggor, a marine-science researcher who was at the bow, said the whale came up so suddenly that there was no way to avoid it.
Jurassic Poop
Scientists in Washington announced they found a new technique to extract DNA from 20,000-year-old dung. The technique will be used to solve mysteries of animals now gone forever.
Watch your step
Bruce Tennenbaum, owner of Arizona Pest Control, is a offering $50,000 reward for the person who catches one of the 100 specially marked cockroaches he will spread around Tucson Arizona in an advertising stunt. The promotion will get under way with a University of Arizona professor releasing 100 American roaches with bar-coded bellies in 100 spots around town. The roaches must be captured and returned to Tennenbaum's shop. Everyone who finds one of these bar-coded roaches gets at least $100, but the big winner gets $50,000. Tennenbaum is the first exterminator to actually increase the bug population.
A catch!
A 22-pound lobster destined for the pots of Old Homestead Steak House in Manhattan will instead be transported via limousine to the Coney Island Aquarium to become part of its Sea Cliffs exhibit. The lobster, caught off Nova Scotia, is estimated to be 75 to 100 years old.
Deer gone
After terrorizing a small Norwegian town for weeks, a buck deer went too far: He stole a chain saw from Olav Haereid's front yard. The large stag had knocked over garbage cans at a child-care center, threatened cars and had begun to frighten residents of Aardalstangen. Last weekend, the renegade herbivore spotted a chain saw in Haereid's yard, picked up the saw with it's antlers and ran off with it. The saw was so heavy that the deer only managed to carry it a few yards, but the theft was enough to impose the ultimate penalty. The buck was shot.
Opportunity knocks
Determined to reduce the number of disease-carrying insects, Manila officials offered a bounty of 1.50 pesos (6 cents) for every 10 cockroaches turned in. The Asahi Evening News reported the offer has given rise to a booming industry in the Phillipines: roach farming.
I hope his mouth was closed
PADERBORN, GERMANY - Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally let fly -- and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop! Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive-oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on him like a dump truck full of mud. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. "It seems to be just one of those freak accidents that happen."
Pigeon in the sky with diamonds
Authorities investigating the theft of diamonds from South Africa's Alexcor mine said they believed the thieves used carrier pigeons to fly the stolen gems past security checkpoints. South African police shot down a plot to smuggle diamonds via a carrier pigeon -- killing the bird as it rested while transporting the uncut gems. Residents in Alexander Bay, a diamond-mining region near the Namibian border, noticed the pigeon Wednesday when it landed wearing a band around its chest. Police shot the bird and found six packets of uncut diamonds valued at $11,320.