Thursday 3 Nov
Now Playing: Theatre of Tragedy- Angelique
Everyone these days seems to have an Emo blog that they use to wow their friends and strangers. Being part of the trendy masses I figured why not join the club, jump on the bandwagon, and share some of my overly dramatic life events.

That being said, let's explore some of the ramblings of another semi-demi-quasi-pseudo American depressed intellectual struggling with his place in the class system.

As you can probably tell, I by no means feel that I'm alone on this spinning ball in my confusion. I just think it's ludicrous though that man has, in my opinion, never been more lost in any age. We have the power to build and destroy civilizations and yet we're more concerned with two inches of rain that didn't fall in a level one hurricane, than the angst of the people in Africa, Bosnia, Cambodia, etc. I try to look at the big picture, the divine meaning in all things, and yet, for the first time in my life I feel hopeless to change the most mundane of things. Does everyone glance about their apartment and go damn! is this my life? I remember the feeling of defeat that hit me one day when I looked at my (ex)fiance and had become numb, and casually accepted my fate. White picket fences, kids playing in a yard, "storybook dreams telling fairy tale lies." What had happened to me? I was a punk kid from L.A. that had probably sold out my bleeding heart liberal nature for the myth of stability. The thing that bothers me now though, is that for the last several months I find myself either jumping from sleeping with strangers to seeking the ultimate in commitment, just to run away when it pops up. What twisted-logic paradigm had I fallen into? I keep thinking another city is the answer, move away from the status quo, do something dramatic to halt this constant ebb and flow of typical life. But is moving to a city to try and relive my past really the answer to move forward? As a kid I always considered myself self actualized, I honestly thought that I'd set my eyes on a star and not stop until I reached it or the heavens shattered from my attempts. God that day we realize we're mortal, corporeal beings with fault is a tragic one. The only thing I wonder now is how do you pick up the pieces and make yourself a whole person. I don't want to be that naive kid with blue hair anymore, but I don't want to be a beaten down fool subscribing to every notion "the man" tosses in front of me.

Ok, enough of a ramble, lets move into a few lines of poetry that will appease the Emo kids, and make us all have a laugh. :)

Feel free to make suggestions, as I'm not a writer.

Scrapbook Princess

Scrapbook princess
Let me give you a throne of pulp.
Your legend exists in the land of forgotten memories and echos.
Sing the song of fallen monarchs, etching their their souls in transparent life blood, in moons, on the face of monoliths long gone.
From now on, we too, shall just be a crumbled echo, stamped into time.. or on the face of ripped parchment.

Untitled

Pain rips away the trappings of farce.
Beneath the fears and pretense..
Under lace, buried beneath flesh, blood, and bone, lies the core of one I've hurt.
There were the Fire Baptisms and those from Saint John's tears, and yet, only She;
the one that endured my sins, can show compassion.
I'm as a flame seeking to burn and ravage her purity, her endurance.
God give me the strength to be a good man, the strength to run away.

Dreams of a Childe

The hollow dreams of a child, melt like mercury into the sulfurous visions of man. Our liquidly illusions frozen in empty reality.
Empathic sighs of self mutilation blaze away from the path of light. Hoping for beauty's release of sleep. The Divine gift of peace, seen through milky eyelids. Labeled bags of regret, goodbye. Ink less pens, wordless sages, blind healers, mute prophets. Time moves in unsteady paths, forgetting to carry everyone along. Along to darkness? Salvation? Sinking may be the only answer to her unspoken glance. Sleeping guardian will you keep vigil? Will the paths end? All I've see is Eternity begging for rests' return to solemn vows, of chaste buds tended by no keeper. The Silent devotion to the childe sleeper. To see corruption's claws borne away from the Angel's halo, to rid this taint. Death.. Peace..Beauty's end in sweet sleep. Beauty's release. And yet, my love, one of us has to stay awake to fight the silk dreams of satin nightmares. So rest a while longer love, I've'll stand vigil against the Night, waiting for the sun, and another day.

Embers

I've search through the embers, seeing ash and my fallen hopes. Our passions have burned down, leaving the hearth cold, this averageness making me crave a bitter taste. I've seek the silent company of strangers, just to avoid your face. Do you even recognize me anymore? I've'm the man lying awake at 2AM, when you reach for the door. The house is cold when you leave again to roam. You're the wolf out on the prowl, and as I've shiver, I've notice the Embers. The fires burned low again...