We Happen To Be Men, Only Men

If we put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her intrests from the harsh world about, we are male chauvinist pigs. If we stay a home and do the house-work, we are pansies. If we work hard to get a good living for her, there is never any time for her or the children. If we don't work hard enough, we are good for nothing lay-abouts. If she has a boring repetitive job with low wages, that is exploitation. If WE have a boring repetitive job with low wages, we should get off our butts and find something better. If we get promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets promotion ahead of a man, that is equal oppertunity.

If we mention how nice she looks, that is sexual harassment. If we say nothing, that is typical male indifference. If we cry, we are sheilas. If we don't we are insensitive bastards. If we thump her, that is wife-bashing. If she thumps us, that's self-defence.

If we make a decision without consulting her, we are chauvinist go-getters. If she makes a decision without regard for our feelings, then she is a liberated woman. If we ask her to do something she doesn't like or enjoy, that is domination. If she asks us to do some-what the same, its a favor.

If we appreciate the female form and frilly underwear on a woman, we are sexual perverts. If we do not notice them, we are poofters. If we like her to keep in good shape over-all, shave her legs, have nice hair, well applied make-up, we are sexist. If we don't care, we are unromantic dead fish. If WE try to keep ourselves in good shape, that is vanity. If we don't, we are slobs and Norms.

If we buy her flowers, we are after something. If we don't, we are forgetful. If we are proud of what we have accomplished, we are conceited cruds. If we aren't, we have no ambition. If we ask for a cuddle, we never think of anything but sex. If we come home from a hard day at work and she wants a cuddle and doesn't get it, we never give a stuff about other peoples' needs.

If she has a headache, it's because she's tired. If we have the same type of headache, it's because we don't love her anymore. If we want IT too often, we are over-sexed. If she wants It and we can't perform on cue, there must be someone else.