And here we have David "Sorbolene" Shi (he's just sooo smooth!) to present his advice to the other "men of the world" on how to "score with chicks".
1. Starting out
Ok, so you picked your sexual preference and the choice now points you towards the female domain of many yummy (and A LOT of not so yummy) individuals.
So what is there to do? Be nice. (i.e. agree to any favour that they ask you to do.) How can you refuse? Then you wouldn’t be nice. Not what you’re aiming for. Don’t be too talkative, let them do the talking, they’ll think you’re listening (no real listening required). Agree with them on anything and you’re already being nice.
So now you’re talking and they’re talking, excellent. You’re doing well, now you have to get to know them better without them thinking you’re a dickhead.
So here’s a list of no no's
Don’t ask weird questions (e.g. “How much do you weigh?”)
Don’t look where you’re not supposed to, or else its called “perving” (WTF?)
Can’t be stingy, you want to look generous.
No touch, only look.
Don’t say anything negative, then you’d be someone who has a mind (i.e. not nice)
So now you’ve gotten to know someone better, maybe they’ll start conversations/ wave to you in public. Good. Now there’s that some things that will make sure that this trend of conversations/greetings continue.
Here’s the list...
Try to guess their weight but always guess a bit less than expected. (They’ll think you think they’re skinny)
Comment on their taste in clothing (Yes, this will always be positive)
“Woooo”’s and “ahhhh”s will make your complements sound that much more genuine.
Remain nice, you never know if they’ll start hating you knowing you’re not nice.
Give them presents for their b’days and don’t complain if you don’t get a present for yours.
Say sweet things, you don’t have to original here, anything that’s remotely mushy will do fine. (e.g. “All you need is a set of wings and a halo now”)
4. Communication
Communication is always a problem, no fear. Practice always makes perfect. ICQ is always a good place to start, its easier to type then talk in person ( make sure you make up a cool name coupled with a cool email address eg. “**-=[StuDmuFFin]=-** imyours4ever@hotmail.com”). Once you get to know them better, in and out of conversations slip in a “so where you live anyway ?” if you asked that already earlier just pretend you forgot and ask again, but this time slip in “you call people much ?” and hope that you’ll get their number. (You can always just scab their number of someone else and just ring them out of the blue, but it’ll make them think you’re a stalker).
5. Advanced Communication
ICQ
communication is a no-brainer, the skill is all in the person-2-person /
voice-2-voice on the phone, and no, you won’t be talking like you did on ICQ
anymore, all these easily said things just don’t come out straight no more.
Once again, be nice and bring up all the topics of interest. Its time you
started showing off your sense of humour. Saying “So how was your day?”
never hurts and maybe it’ll strike up a nice conversation and it’ll lighten
your load about bringing up topics all the time. If this is done properly a
decent 15-30 mins of talk shouldn’t be a problem.
Problems
could arise, which includes such things as when your call back ratios are
extremely tilted. (i.e. you ring 10 times, you get 1 call back. Not good, maybe
they secretly hate you and its time to “be nice” again on ICQ.)
If you
happen to achieve a healthy call back ratio (e.g. You ring 4 times , you get 2-4
calls back, just don’t let the ratio tilt too much. 2:1 is fine, but anything
above 4:1 could mean you should call less often.)
To forcefully attain a good call back ratio would include MEGA niceness, so it might seem fake for you, but they won’t notice the difference, and they’ll feel guilty by not returning calls to such a nice guy. (Last resort, could result in permanent barring).
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