How to Meet Women 

                By Alex "Renegade" Wong - the talking gerbil  =)

Alright, this is for all you shy and lonely guys out there~ I know how you’re feeling; you’re feeling alone, and seeing everyone else with their chicks just make you want to… you know…

Aaaaanyway…

I’m here to help you dudes out; to tell you, you WILL succeed. You WILL show those professional Romeos, those manipulators and skillful predators that attract women so easily (in other words, big, up themselves, penis-heads) that they are the dicks that they are. Because unlike them, you see a love relationship as the singularly precious thing it is! Damn the girl who wins your heart will be the luckiest girl in the word!!

NOW!~ Is that enough pep talk?

Cool… so here we go~!

Ok…

Step 1: Don’t ever EVER give up… When you finally pull up the guts to ask someone out, and they say “Sorry but I’m going out this Saturday”, or “what the ****??!! You asking me out? **** off you…” or vice versa, don’t sit in bed and cry like the baby that you are; Everyone gets rejected~ Even those man-whores get a kick in the nads once in a while… If there’s a purpose to all that shit you have to go through, is to make you a better person; what can’t kill you can only make you stronger~ Just be patient, relationships go at their own pace, often slow… don’t just rush just because you’re sexually frustrated. Remember: You will never give up, you will never give up, you will never……………

Step 2: Learn from experience: You’ll make mistakes. Not because you’re an unco… It’s because you’re human. You’ll make a fool of yourself, fall on your face, y’know; kick your own butt, get rejected by a woman~ that type of stuff…

Yeah your human' so what? So admit your mistakes. Admit you walked in on your parents, admit all that type of stuff; but don’t take it personally tho… just take notes from your mistakes, and next time you might not get slapped so hard (and from my notes - don’t ask anyone out over icq - ehe...)

Step 3: Realise some stuff:

Realise that having a girlfriend will NOT solve problems, hell it’ll probably make it worse, if anything. Bonding with a chick will add a Lot of tension and pressure already on you~ You gotta fix up your own life, if you want to hold up your end of a relationship… If you decide not to listen to this advice, then you can go get screwed… no wait… you won’t be able to cuse your relationship with your gf would’ve been over before you had a chance~

Anyway… the moral of the story is: The less you need others, the more they will be attracted to. The motto that Tash thrives upon =)

Also, gain some social skills: Talk to people, if you don’t know how to, then learn… take some classes - it’ll make life easier for you…

When you’ve done that, build on your social connections. Y’know, friends and family and stuff… if you can’t associate with these people then what makes you think you can handle, godforbid, a girlfriend huh?

“Collect” as many people as you can. This means enlarging your social circle; talking to strangers on the bus or train, anyone you’re sittin around. You never know, maybe one of these people can show you the chickibabe of your dreams ;)

More importantly, recreate yourself to be more ‘interesting’: eewwww no not *that*… not like that… I meant getting more hobbies and skills, keep yourself up to date with the latest goss and news… Saves you telling your date stories about how your dad used to work in a sewage plant, while you two are having dinner, and hopefully you’ll get more respect that way.

And lastly, become a strong and independent dude. Everyone hates mummy boys, isn’t that right Grete “1800-whip-me” Chan? Not only physically, but like… giving support to people that need it, help those people that need help out… i.e. Let the world see the niceness in a person like yourself~ That what you get is what you give…

“Lonely men seek companionship, Lonely women sit at home and wait.

They never meet.”

           By dunnowho

Disclaimer: If for any reason this article drives you mentally insane, causes you to be socially-unacceptable or causes women to hate you for the rest of your life, Then I’ve packed my bags and am on my way to Alaska.