"Once upon a time Martians and Venetians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to earth and amnesia set in: they forgot they were from different planets." Blah, blah blah!
*sigh* It is only out of
desperation that I have been forced to write up this following section for the
guys... It really does dismay me as to what some guys say to girls and their
general inconsiderate manners! And no! Girls have no faults! We are goddesses!
(Yes! So I am bitter! But do I care? No! For I am
cultivating an attitude of indifference to this sad, sick world... But what else
can I say, other than plead - "Forgive them Father, for they do not know
what they have done") For the guys... "You look kinda fat today" "Stop eating so much!" "Gosh, you eat so little..."
Note: But if she started to cry after the "Go away!" bit, you should still to the whole "probe - What's really the matter" thing outlined before.
Make promises you will never keep Argh!
Will put more up here - just too lazy rite now... =P But hopefully all the
idiots out there will reform or die and so this page will no longer be
necessary. In an idealistic world, that is...
Do not do/say -
Gosh there are some fuckwits in this world! Haven't you ever heard of "that time of
the month". Well, one common symptom of "that time of the month" is some minor swelling and general crankiness due to the destructive sway of hormones and looking fat. Be supportive of all members of the opposite sex
during this time and don't give them crap about looking like the side of a barn. They probably need your reassurance and compliments today more than any other time.
Are you implying that your female companion is fat and therefore shouldn't eat? Do not say this unless you want to get savagely beaten by the listener and her pack of pissed-off female companions.
Well, it's because of idiots who say the above two comments which forces girls to eat bird-seed amounts of food so they won't have to endure
the sound of such opinions. So stop the vicious cycle!
Her: "Do I look fat in this?"
You: "Yes"
What! I mean, even if she does look fat in whatever she's wearing, just look puzzled and suggest something else, saying something like "Well, this would really bring out the colour in your eyes" or some other hogwash like that. It sucks all the girls
in everytime... believe me... Or take the easy way out and say "No",
but there could be serious consequences to this bludgy way out - i.e. when girl
wears whatever looks bad and then some tactless person tells her. Then will you
get the sack... big time.
You: "What's wrong?"
Her: "Nothing..."
You: "Oh, okay then"
Aiiieee! You idiots! When a girl says that there's "nothing" wrong, it's an invitation for you to probe more until she does the big cry/whinge thing and leans on your "broad, sturdy shoulders" and hints/alludes/asks/makes you (depending on how forceful your chick is) say reassuring things with sincerity. And btw, for you total lost beasts out there, the whole leaning on shoulder thing is NO excuse for a f*ck! Well, if she starts to play gently with the back of your head or shoulders... ;) But tread VERY carefully, I warn you in advance or risk getting a big, red, stinging hand imprint on the side of your face. Ouch!
You: "What's wrong?"
Her: "Nothing..."
You: "You sure? I mean, we can have a talk about it or something..."
Her: "No, I just want to be alone. Go away!"
Now is the time to leave. But remember to check up on your girl once in a while (every 10 minutes if you're in close proximity i.e. the next room and every 30 minutes if you were on the phone) with a really concerned expression on your face/in your voice and ask if she's okay.
Us females have impreccable memories and we WILL remember EVERYTHING you say and do. Yes, paranoia, paranoia getting to me. And this also includes things which you allude to but never say. Really, "honesty is the best policy". *sigh* Wouldn't everything be just so simple that way? (But don't worry, you can still do the whole "mysterious" approach if that's your thing ;) Just make sure you're within the no-fibbing guidelines.)