It's summer and I want to see some promiscuous behaviour (from all you people)! I know you all want to (it's imbedded in human nature, after all) and this season of scantily clad girls and guys will not deter anyone! I say, bring on the festivities! Therefore, I, Caroline "Beefcake" Joo, in conjunction with some other sick-minded people, are here to guide you bored people as to "what to do". ;P

So what kind of freak would dedicate a site to this art/sport/persuit/hobby/disgrace? Here's one way to find out... >>>>>>>>>

  Some like it hot...

1. The psychological lead up

Before undertaking in any of the mentioned activities, repeat after me "I am still in reign of my integrity, honor, and faith". Then throw it all away... (Oh shit... I've probably offended/shocked/ disgusted a sizeable portion of the population now.)

Remember, you are on the kill... Act like the predator (or some crap like that). 

2. What to wear?

Simply, there are really only two ways to dress - it's either all on or (almost) all off!

For the first method... There's nothing a coat can't hide. And why not tantalise your victim by letting him/her/it use their imagination a tad. Then you can get down to some serious real-life "unlayering" *winkwinknudgenudge*.

The second shot... Bare it and let your presence be known. Girls, a low-cut top may be just the plan to display some of your "assets". And for guys, how about showing the chicks your rippling abs and bulging biceps? Don't have either, well... Well, either way, you're wearing something and make sure it's covering whatever's hideous! (This may require donning the full-length Muslim hijab/body sack for some of you "less-sightly" out there)

And no one, I repeat no one can get away with wearing a two-button jacket! (Seen it? Tell me and I'll retract my statement!)

3. How to move?

How about taking a few lessons from Grete "1900-whip-me" Chan or Grace "Dirty-dancin'" Chau? Success guaranteed! And remember to stick in a few "glances" to your bewitched date - they'll never go astray after one!

And for the guys... just make the girl look good - this does not involve making yourself look dog-shit compared with her, but rather "complement" her - i.e. move with her.  "Complement" you uneducated philistines, not "compliment"! (The difference is in the "e".) And remember - "Be gentle... Easy does it...*" 

*Note: But not so "easy" that she'll rip your arm off and start to move it herself. That's your cue to speed things up a bit.

Just go with the flow... or fire some things up with some tango-for-two? Two-step UK garage is a personal favourite of mine. (Groovy... shake your thang!)

4. What to say?

Well... girls - don't say much. Or if you say anything, make it so cryptic that your guy has no idea what your motives are. That about sums it up. Remember - "talk with your hands, listen with your eyes". If you don't get it, then... use your imagination you sad cases! (If you're still really curious, email me and find out)

Guys, just gush on once in a while about how "amazing" your chick is. (But don't overdo it! - It has to sound sincere and genuine.) Smart girls  want to hear how gorgeous they are and gorgeous girls want to hear the exact opposite. And at no occasion say anything about ex-girlfriends or compare your "new friend" to anybody.

Write about all your stuff on seduction and other comments about this page in my gay-arse guestbook!

Still lost? Perhaps you require some more "personalised service"... Continue to unlock the hidden vault of experience... >>>>>>> Onward!