Heero vs. Microsoft
part 01

by: Abra


rating: pg-13

pairing: 2+1 implied

warning: weird, gross ooc, silly, implied shounen-ai


Heero sat, typing at his laptop, hacking into some database or another.

*tap tap click tap TAP tap tap click*

He noticed that wherever he looked, he seemed to see 'Microsoft'. In fact, he saw Microsoft EVERYWHERE. Even the OS in his laptop seemed to be Microsoft. Hmmm...this looked suspicious.....

A few hours (and many *tap click*'s) later.....

"Heero, come to bed already!" said Duo. "You've been at that thing for hours!" Heero didn't reply. He was too absorbed in his research. Each tidbit he learned, made him more and more certain...that...Microsoft was...a front for OZ. Yes, was sure of it. And this Bill Gates person just HAD to be a high ranking officer of some kind. He just hadn't figured out what yet.

"What was that Heero?" said Duo. What?! Heero hadn't realised that he'd said that out loud.

"Nothing," he replied, continuing to type.

"Oh? Really? And what are you doing, anyway?" Duo bounced over, and looked over Heero's shoulder. "Bill Gates is a high ranking officer of OZ? Yeah right Heero. EVERYone knows he's an immortal demon." Heero turned and gave Duo this LOOK.

"There are no such things as demons, Duo. And Bill Gates IS a part of OZ, I have all the proof I need right here." Duo looked at the (non-existent) 'evidence'.And the HE gave Heero this LOOK.

"Heero, man you have truly gone over the edge this time."

"Hn." Duo backed away, and went back to bed.

"Think whatever you like, but I'm telling you, Bill Gates is an immortal demon. Few can go against him and survive. None can go against him and come away unscathed." Heero again didn't answer, he just kept typing.

*tap click tap tap*

Duo shrugged. "Whatever. G'night."

"Hn."

*tap tap tap click*

Finally, after a very long time, he shut off his laptop, and went to bed, muttering "....Bill Gates o korosu...." under his breath just before falling asleep.

The next morning....

".....and I'm telling you; he's an immortal demon!" Duo and Heero walked into the kitchen of whatever place they happened to be staying at just then. "If you don't believe me, ask them!" He turned to the other Gundam pilots. "Hey guys, isn't Bill Gates an immortal demon?" Duo asked.

"Of course!" said Wufei. "There's no other way such a foul creature could have survived since the twentieth century AD!" Trowa nodded. There was a long silence, punctuated only by the sound of annoying music, and cheesy sound effects. Trowa elbowed Quatre ('cause he was standing right next to Quatre, naturally ^_~ ).

"Hmm? Wha? Oh, yeah, he's an immortal demon. Definately an immortal demon.....ALRIGHT!! I caught Zapdos! Yeah!"

Quatre grinned happily, and hummed along to the music.

-Insert collective sweatdrop here-

"See Heero? Everyone else knows it," said Duo.

"You're all delusional," said Heero as he grabbed some sort of portable breakfast on his way through the kitchen.

"Um, Heero, reality check here," said Duo as he followed Heero into another room, munching on HIS breakfast. "I think YOU are the delusional one." Heero ignored Duo and continued walking. Heero kept right on walking, and Duo kept right on talking (and yes the rhyme is intentional), until they reached whatever place their Gundams were stored at their current...umm...residence. Okay, okay, so Duo didn't actually stop talking until Heero stopped abruptly, causing Duo to slam into him and fall over on his back.

"Oof," said Duo.

"Duo," said Heero.

"Yeah?" said Duo, hoping maybe Heero had come to his senses. No such luck.

"Duo, shut up," said Heero, jumping into his Gundam, and taking off to (what else?) kill Bill Gates.

'Dammit,' thought Duo. 'And I almost had him that time too.'

To be CONTINUED!! ::thunder crashes, lightning flashes, and ominous BGM plays::


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