Everyone and His Uncle

by: Abra


rating: pg

pairing: N/A

warning: silly, mild wufei-bashing (don't worry, I love him, but he's so much fun to pick on!)


"KISAMA!!!" came the shriek of horror from the general vicinity of the Gundam hangar. A moment later, the enraged pilot of 05 came storming out into the kitchen. "Where is he?!" he demanded.

"Where is who, Wufei?" asked Quatre, the perfect picture of ignorance.

"You know who I mean!" Wufei said. "That... dishonorable CUR! MAXWELL!!" Quatre merely shook his head.

"What did he do THIS time?" he asked. Wufei clenched his fist.

"What did he do?! WHAT DID HE DO?! He-he-he defiled Nataku! He went BEYOND defiling Nataku!" Much to Quatre's surprise and consternation, an apopleptic Wufei grabbed him by the arm, and dragged the Arabic pilot into the hangar. And when he saw what was there, his jaw *totally* dropped. What he saw was this:

'Nataku', pared down into a slender, girlish version of the mighty mecha, painted in pink and white, complete with sailor-fuku.

"Ah," was Quatre's astute response. He then about faced, and walked back into the kitchen. By some marvelous coincidence, Duo just happened to be in the kitchen at that moment.

"'Morning Quatre," Duo said.

"'Morning," Quatre replied. "You might wanna hide."

"Why?" Duo asked. At that moment, Wufei came back into the kitchen as well.

"Whoops, too late," said Quatre.

"MAXWELL!!" Wufei screamed, pointing his sword (not THAT one) at said Gundam pilot. "You have defiled Nataku for the LAST TIME!!!!! I challenge you to a DUEL!!!" Duo shrugged.

"Okay. Swords, right?" he said. Wufei nodded. "Okay then," Duo contined. "Meet me out front in a couple minutes. I need to arm myself (not to mention get dressed)." Before Wufei could say anything, Duo sped off up the stairs. The irate pilot of Nataku stomped out the front door, and stood waiting on the gravel covered drive. A few minutes later (although Wufei thought it was a few *hours* later), Duo came bouncing out of the house, a broadsword slung over his shoulder. Wufei looked shocked.

"What, you thought I wouldn't come?" Duo asked. Wufei turned redder ('with rage', he told himself), because that's *exactly* what he had been thinking.

"Prepare to DIE!" Wufei said. Duo snorted, and un-slung his sword. And so, the battle was joined. They fought for a while, with much slashing and dodging, and yelling and screaming, and Wufei turning red and nearly popping a vein. Then, all of a sudden, Duo disarmed Wufei, and boom, the fight was over.

"Well, I win," said Duo, slinging the broadsword back over his shoulder. "Your Gundam stays pink." He smirked. Wufei stood there, gaping in disbelief, a completely shocked expression written across his face, and his eyes bulging comically.

"H-h-h-h-how...?" he stuttered hoarsely. Duo re-smirked, and raised a finger (not that one).

"My uncle," he said smugly. "You might know him. His name's Treize Khushrenada." This last sentence was far too much for Wufei's already pathetically overloaded brain to grasp. With a short gurgle, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he passed out. Duo blinked innocently.

"I wonder what's with him?" said the pilot of the spiffiest Gundam there is [1]. He then shrugged, and walked back into the safehouse. As he was doing so, a wind started up, and dramatically blew leaves across his path.

the end.

[1] This is only the author's (and Duo's) opinion. ^_^;


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