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  1st 2nd 3rd TOTAL
Dallas 3 1 1 5
Buffalo 0 1 0 1

Monday, June 7, 1999

The two cities picked right up where they left off. Buffalo and Dallas resumed their Super Bowl rivalry and carried it into hockey. Big D was enthraled with their newborn Stars. It embraced its team with a ten-gallon love affair. Come game time, there were plenty of familiar faces in the crowd. All of the Dallas Cowboy team had their own cheering section. Included were Troy Aikman, Emmett Smith and the like. Even Jimmy Johnson joined them to make Buffalo's Super Bowl anguish even worse.

When the opening faceoff was won by the Stars, the fans went nuts. Kevin Hatcher crashed Hasek halfway through the first period, making the Sabre goalie go ballistic. The two fought for 5 minutes and the refs let them go. Hasek stuffed his catching mit down Hatcher's throat and the Stars goon just bit it in half and spit it out! Finally the refs separated the two and gave them 5 minutes majors. But the damage was done: Hasek was rattled. Dallas scored 3 goals in a matter of 5 minutes to take a 3-0 lead. Miro Satan was able to crack the Dallas D and get a one-timer past Ed Belfour, but that was all the Sabres could muster as the Stars hammered the Sabres 5-1 in the first game of the Stanley Cup finals.

After the game, Dallas coach Ken Hitchcock came to the podium dressed in a Dallas green suit with a huge star on the right side. Hitchcock started his conference with,"To get things started properly, let me introduce a man loved and revered in this grand city of ours....." Just then, Jimmy Johnson made his grand appearance to the wild delight of the crowd.

"How ‘bout ‘dem Cowboys.....I mean ‘dem Stars?" Jimmy combed a hair that had fallen out of place to make everything perfect again. "What a grand way of starting this Stanley Cup series. I know all you just dream every night about the opportunity to knock Buffalo out of a championship for the third time this decade! Ever since I left this fine city, that has been everyone's main goal in life: to humiliate the city of Buffalo one more time! Buffalo is a one horse town and I love shoving it into their faces twice a year. That's why I took that Dolphin job. I live to disgrace Buffalo. What joy, what pleasure it was this January for my Dolphins to knock the pants off those wimpy Bills in the playoffs! And now the Stars have the chance to do it in a different sport! I want all you rabid Stars fans to make life sordid for the Sabres and their fans any way possible. Make derogatory signs, comparing life in Buffalo to a life style lower than a caveman's. We owe it to our ancestors to give the Sabres a Big Dallas welcome! Let's make life miserable for them! Go Stars!"