| How is it so, that my memories do not flow? Things escape me, avoid and berate me, it's as if life came along, paused and raped me. Glimpses come; more often they go, dull my clarity like a cranium blow. Coaxing, cajoling my mind's not for unfolding, uncertainties abound, casting doubt on the found, mosaic fragments incomplete and unsound. Few recollections present for extolling as frustration reigns my weakness controlling, Clouded unsure, my memory recovers only the obscure. Yet memories of others Trigger the lost and the illusive, In a wave of remembrance What was vague is conclusive. Few are these triumphs Maddening their allure Vast empty spaces Are what I endure. Cause and effect logic implies, abuse what is needed and slowly it dies, society's drugs freely ingested, alcohol and caffeine are causes accepted constantly mentally, bodily affected, Such consequences are simply expected, What was I saying? What were your replies? I only recall my memory-less demise. Young as I am, twenty-something man, age approaches like a river to a dam. Inevitabilities rear, certainties clear, memory failing middle age is near. What then I fear? Slight is the likelihood of no more coffee and beer. Will I give a damn? about my life, my wife, in fact who I am? |